Jason Takes Manhattan just filled my head with all sorts of new questions. The most obvious one being, “Why does this film exist?” But also, did I really just watch Rennie get chased by two Jasons? Rennie, the main protagonist of part VIII (or not) had never been able to swim. When she was a young girl, her uncle took her out in a boat on Crystal Lake many times to try and teach hear, but she was always too afraid (of swimming, but I guess she was fine with the Jason legend that she was floating on top of). During one of these attempts, her uncle pushes her in the water to force her to learn. A young (and surprisingly clean looking) Jason tries to pull her under and drown her, but she survives. Unless it was in her mind. Which it may have been becausee the body of Jason was never recovered. So why would he still be in the lake? Either way, she is plagued by visions of the young boy that tried to drown her while on the trip to Manhattan. Then the real Jason shows up (whom she obviously does not recognize, him being a decomposed adult now) and chases her in the the sewers of New York. As luck would have it, the sewers flood with toxic waste every night at midnight. Jason drowns (!) in this waste, and as it washes away, we see that he has turned back in to the young boy of Rennie’s visions. Unless that was in her mind. Which it may have been.
Congratulations, Jason Goes to Hell. You have just replaced A New Beginning as the worst Jason film (so far). This is ironic, because it addresses almost every complaint or concern I have mentioned about the previous films. But you went too far, movie.
So, the film opens with a woman driving to Crystal Lake to her cabin. There is no group of teenagers or counselors, just this young woman. We have a couple of jump scares and she gets naked, ready for a bath. Another jump scare or two and suddenly she is being chased by Jason. As they are running, dozens of lights are turned on and dozen of armed FBI agents have Jason surrounded. This will be the scene of his “death” (much like Brenda’s in part 1). He is first shot right in the head (yes! zombie theory about to be proven!), then just unloaded on (fuck you!). He is shot hundreds of times and eventually blown to pieces, his heart even blown out of his chest. He is gathered up and taken to the Federal Morgue in Ohio. As the coroner is performing the autopsy, Jason’s heart starts beating. Then the coroner eats it. Yeah, that’s right. I would say that it came out of nowhere, but there were about two seconds of “acting” that I assume was supposed to suggest the heart spoke to or hypnotized the coroner. The coroner, now possessed by Jason, escapes, killing some folks before leaving. The TV show American Casefiles then reports that a string of “Jason-like” murders from Ohio going toward Crystal Lake (which is apparently in New Jersey) are occurring. A bounty hunter, Creighton Duke (Steven Williams) is convinced that Jason is in fact alive, and furthermore, claims that he is the only one to know how to stop him. Jason can only be born through a Voorhees and can only be killed by a Voorhees. We learn that Jason is on his way back to Crystal Lake to pay some folks (that we never knew about) a visit: his half-sister Diana, her daughter and Jason’s niece Jessica, and Jessica’s new baby Stephanie. That is so 1988. Because Jason cannot survive in non Voorhees host bodies long, he must jump from one body to another. This is accomplished by his heart taking the form of a snake and sliding into the orifice of another person. And there you have it: the ninth Jason picture.
So the Crystal Lake killings finally get federal attention. And only 37 years after the first camp counselors were killed (this film supposedly takes place in 1995)! This is great! Oh, wait. On American Casefiles, the host says that for years the mention of Jason’s name would send shivers up people’s spines. Oh really? In what fucking sequel did that take place?! Because there sure was a lot of talking about Jason, but no one had any problems fucking at the site of his death! Also on American Casefiles, Duke makes an appearance on the episode that the host reports the deaths of two guards and a coroner where Jason’s body was taken. When Duke arrives at Crystal Lake to warn them, everyone knows who he is. YET NO ONE BELIEVES JASON IS ALIVE. Help me understand this. Any person who doubted his existence was surely proven wrong after the FBI blew him up for murdering a confirmed 83 people. Then, “Jason-esque murders” start occurring, beginning at the Federal Morgue and moving on down a Family Circus like dotted path to Crystal Lake. And they see this on TV. THIS IS A NATIONAL NEWS STORY. THERE IS NO EXCUSE WHY ANYONE IN ANY JASON FILM DOES NOT BELIEVE HE WOULD BE ALIVE ANYMORE. Oh, but then where would the conflict be? Well I will tell you, and you almost got it right. As much as I hate the jumping from body to body plot line, it’s a great device. Even if people believed that Jason was out there again, no one would see him coming because he is constantly in host bodies. So why not just let everyone believe he exists and kill that plot hole please? People could even try to get out of town (but let’s be honest, they wouldn’t) and be killed by their friends because everyone is trying to avoid a killer in a hockey mask.
So, most of my demands were delivered with this sequel. We definitely had characters with stronger connections to Jason and Crystal Lake. It sure was more different than say, just a locale change. Finally, as contradictory as it is this late in the franchise, the killings get national attention. But what a garbage way to deliver it. This film is repulsive. It turned a half decent story about a drowned little boy and his vengeful mother into a supernatural continuity error. That reminds me of something…
Favorite kill: Truth be told, Jason’s death was bad ass. The one at the beginning, not that stupid one at the end.
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