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Random Movie: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Written by: PBF

Hooray, Jason’s back! In Jason lives, the Forest Green (formerly Crystal Lake) Sheriff was convinced that Tommy was killing people to fabricate a story that Jason was alive. Little did he know that he was alive. I am sure he was convinced of this when Jason folded him in half like he was closing a suitcase. So now that Jason is the undead, how could Tommy and his new lady friend Megan, stop him? Shoot him in the head? Nope. Chop him up as he has done to others so many times? No. During the massacre, Tommy had time to buy, or check out from the local library, some books on the occult. From these, he gleans that the solution is to return Jason to the site of his death; the lake. They do this (thankfully before Jason kills any of the little children campers) and chain him to a boulder so that he is stuck under water. Jason “drowns” and the kids are saved! Hooray! At the very end, as we see Jason floating underwater, he opens his eyes and glares at us right before the credits roll. In the world of film, this is called “open door for a sequel.”

The New Blood (what?) starts with a flashback. A little girl named Tina and her parents are at Crystal Lake sometime after the events of Jason Lives (fucking idiots!). Tina’s parents are fighting and her father hits her mother. Tina runs to the lake and gets in a boat. He father and mother chase her and Tina yells to her father that she wishes he was dead. Tina becomes so emotional that her telekinesis (oh yeah, she has that) takes over and the pier that her father is on collapses and he falls in to the lake and drowns. Many years later (which apparently puts us in 1993), Tina, her mother, and Doctor Crews (Terry Kiser) all meet at Crystal Lake (I guess they changed the name back?), where her father died. Tina has been in a mental hospital due to the extreme guilt she feels having killed her father. As far as Tina and her mother know, the plan is to try and rehabilitate Tina, and convince her that her father’s death was not her fault. The truth, is that Bernie, I mean Dr. Crews, just wants to exploit Tina’s abilities. Of course, there is a gaggle of teenagers next door, partying like there is no Jason legend. I guess I can excuse that this time, since Jason has been at the bottom of the lake for 5 or so years. On second thought, no I can’t. BURN THE PLACE TO THE GROUND YOU FUCKING MORONS. Sorry. Tina, upset after a session with Dr. Crews, runs out of the cabin to the pier. In an attempt to bring her father back, she wakes up Jason, who I guess, fell back asleep after the end of Jason Lives. Then kids get killed, blah blah blah.

So, what the hell happened to Tommy? Who knows. This film disregards or does not pay any attention to any previous film except for the newspaper clippings that someone has. Autonomously, I guess this film is okay. For some reason, The New Blood does not continue with the new comedy approach that Jason Lives did. It does have a much more sinister tone reminiscent of part 2. This may or may not be due to Kane Hodder, who makes his first appearance playing Jason here. Hodder is easily the best Jason and incidentally, Adam Green’s reason for masturbating.

I really have no complaints about this film. It is unique (besides stealing from Stephen King) but it’s downfall is trying to employ the same formula that it already made fun of itself for. Because of this sequel’s weak connection to the franchise, even as good as it is, it doesn’t matter. Sorry.

Favorite kill: Jason zips up Judy in her sleeping bag and slams her against a tree. Awesome.

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