Movie Scum

If you ever wondered if the 'found footage' genre would graduate from horror into loftier pursuits (Chronicle notwithstanding), End of Watch might be the film for you. At least, sort of. I was sold on a gritty cop film starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña with the aforementioned style but the end result was less than impressive. Imagine COPS: The Movie with attractive actors, love interests, and a big bad in the form of a very shallow drug kingpin and you have the idea.  Gyllenhaal and Pena are two almost-rogue LA cops who manage to get entangled into more shootouts and busts than Riggs and Murtaugh with even more chatty banter but less characterization. As a result of them sticking their noses into a drug war, the two are (eventually) drawn into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles that permeates almost every other film by David Ayer . Like the "found footage" angle that is more easily explained by having an invisible cameraman, the film suffers from havin...

Even though Paranormal Activity 4 has the same goals and hits the same notes as its predecessors, it is the weakest entry in the series by far. As another year passes and the already thin concept is stretched more transparent, the filmmakers stubbornly refuse to jettison the established storyline even though the weighty backstory is a hindrance. The main focus this time is teenaged Alex and her family who experience weird happenings after a young boy comes to stay with them. Alex convinces her boyfriend to set up the family’s endless supply of Macbooks to record everything even though that footage is more for our benefit than Alex’s. While I have enjoyed the series up until now to varying degrees, PA4 offers nothing new and worse, it is rather boring. There are a handful of decent jump scares and one extended uneasy scene but the rest is simply filler while we wait for those. The lengthy buildup to shocks and scares doesn’t work this time around since we know what to expect and t...

A sympathetic or relatable character is generally a necessity in any movie but especially one that's set in the world of a billionaire's family and his money-printing hedge fund. Richard Gere stars as Robert Miller, a who's who in the world of finance who not only is desperately trying to sell his company to cover up his $400 million loss to his investors, but is also having an affair on the side. As if being a cheating and fraudulent investment broker wasn't enough, Miller flees the scene of an accident where his mistress was killed and ropes in an unsuspecting family friend to his shenanigans.

As much as I want to like Shia LaBeouf  as a serious actor, his past career choices and general absence of skill make that difficult.

I’m typically a sucker for end-of-the-world type stories so I was curious about Seeking a Friend for the End of the World even with an apparent lovey-dovey relationship courtesy of writer/director Lorene Scafaria. While I haven’t seen most of them, Steve Carell has successfully headlined a number of films but he just seems uncomfortable in this romance/comedy/drama hybrid. Granted, his character is meant to be shy and reserved but it’s a wild change from most of what he’s most familiar from. His screen partner Keira Knightley is delightful and the two leads share a good chemistry. But, and possibly by design, their relationship never feels as genuine as it should as the two attempt to cross New Jersey apparently (bleh) on the eve of the apocalypse. There are some funny moments as well as some serious ones about the reflection of life and love but because the film never really commits to which genre it wants to be in, things are less impactful. Until the world comes to an end that is...

With George Lucas’ 13th revision of Star Wars hitting Blu-ray recently, I figured I should honor that somehow. But not with those reviews. That would be painstaking. If you read old reviews of Mel Brooks‘ Spaceballs , the consensus is that it came far too late to be an effective parody of those famed sci-fi films. Funny enough though, I saw Spaceballs likely when I was under six and didn’t see Star Wars until well into high school. Thus, the spoof aspect never really stuck out to me. That’s fine because that part is only moderately funny. Brooks’ film works best when it breaks the 4th wall and pokes fun at unrelenting merchandising of lunchboxes, flamethrowers, and toilet paper. I especially enjoy the one-off jokes such as the cross-eyed gunner Asshole or Mr. Rental. The cast is largely decent considering the unevenness of the story with John Candy, Brooks himself as two characters, and the lovely Daphne Zuniga as the standouts. Some laugh-out-loud moments exist but those are bur...

I was a bad horror fan when I saw Quarantine before [REC] since the latter was not yet available commercially. This remake is the same tale of some unlucky folks including a reporter and her cameraman trapped inside an apartment building with an rampant zombie problem. It might not be a fair comparison but Quarantine does not succeed to the level that [REC] does. The characters are nowhere as defined, the pacing trudges along, and even the scares are much more easily spotted in this film. It fails as a "found footage" film since almost every actor is recognizable in some way or another. There are much worse things to see since this does not blatantly insult you. But, you'd be better off with the original as long as subtitled movies aren't a turn-off.

What can I say? I am a glutton for courtroom dramas even though they seem to all end the same. Matthew McConaughey plays the titular lawyer who spends his time defending the less-than-innocent. If you took an episode of The Practice and bred it with an episode of Law & Order , I suspect this is pretty close to the outcome. Some of the twists in the story are okay, even if they are given away by the previews, but this ultimately seems like a by the book legal thriller. It doesn’t help that McConaughey’s presence invokes A Time to Kill , a much more effective drama. There is a lot of talent that goes untapped from William H. Macy to the still smokin’ Marisa Tomei but the story featuring the possibly guilty rich boy Ryan Phillippe is short on surprises, even though Phillippe seems to be trying to prove he is a real actor.

It normally would be a problem when the biggest stars of your alien invasion flick are the guy from Scrubs or the generic guy from some cancelled TV shows. Yes, it’s somewhat bland and predictable but, like Battle: Los Angeles, I enjoyed Skyline in spite of its huge, gaping flaws as a movie. The effects were terrific, the ending is original, if baffling, and the film is much smarter than it has any right to be, even if the characters are not. The Strause Brothers took a moderate amount of money and churned out an entertaining, if somewhat forgettable, tale.

Written by: PBF Broken Lizard's first film, Puddle Cruiser is just not very good. It isn't funny and less silly than the later films. It's quite sloppily put together, the acting is deplorable and it's very uninteresting. Some of the conversations last way too long and a lot of the jokes are quite long winded and just unfunny. You can see the beginning of the troupe's rapport with each other start to form, but it isn't strong enough yet to pull the film off.

The (new!) Karate Kid stars Jackie Chan teaching Jaden Smith what is arguably not karate. Smith takes over for Ralph Macchio in the sunny vistas of China instead of SoCal with almost everything from the original present including the cute girlfriend, the mean thugs, and a slightly aloof teacher. It is a bit troublesome to see young boys punching and kicking like they are in Fight Club but this is a well-done movie with decent performances and a feel-good ending. It would have been better though with something other than the same feel-good ending from over twenty years ago.

Writer/director Adam Rifkin tackled classic OJ elements with The Chase starring Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson . Sheen plays an convicted felon who happens to be innocent and Swanson is his unwilling victim in pursuit by almost every cop in southern California. The majority of the movie takes place inside the car but the growing relationship between the two leads, the television crew with the pursuing officers (including Henry Rollins ), and the pervasive punk-rock music keep things moving nicely. For good measure there is some stinging commentary on the vapidness of the media but a fun ride is in store regardless.

Writer/director Adam Rifkin tackled classic OJ elements with The Chase starring Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson. Sheen plays an convicted felon who happens to be innocent and Swanson is his unwilling victim in pursuit by almost every cop in southern California. The majority of the movie takes place inside the car but the growing relationship between the two leads, the television crew with the pursuing officers (including Henry Rollins), and the pervasive punk-rock music keep things moving nicely. For good measure there is some stinging commentary on the vapidness of the media but a fun ride is in store regardless.

The Goods reminded me a lot of Hot Tub Time Machine in that it should have been much funnier than it was. It was not a bad movie though with decent performances from Jeremy Piven and Kathyrn Hahn notably but far too much fell flat when it should have been a goldmine as dirty old men and lusting for statutory rape only go so far to make an R-rated comedy stand out from the pack. There were simply too many good comedic actors here that everyone was one-dimensionally cliched with no compelling traits. Not even Alan Thicke or Will Ferrell cameos could close the sale.

As a young Puck, watching Friday   was a bi-weekly tradition to vicariously experience life in an urban environment filled with guns, drugs, and crazy-ass Chris Tucker . I am convinced that Tucker was created to play Smokey as he steals the show with his irresponsible, over-the-top mannerisms. Writer, producer, and star Ice Cube is no slouch either as the laid-back, unemployed foil to Smokey. Director F. Gary Gray takes the ordinary occurrences and extraordinary characters of the neighborhood and constructs them in way that come across in a perfect combination of wacky fun and cautionary tale with the issues of drugs and violence.

Written by: Digger Duncan Jones ’ Moon is a science fiction story in the purest sense of the term. It concerns the plight of Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell) working alone on the moon running a facility that mines Helium-3 for an energy company back on Earth. Inside of the first scene the audience is crushed by the sense of isolation shown to us as Sam has only GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey) the station Artificial Intelligence with whom to communicate. Through the simple premise of a man alone on the moon, this film explores speculative technology that leads Sam and the viewer on an emotional and introspective journey of what it really means to be human.

Written by: PBF I had never actually seen the entirety of Team America: World Police until today. From the creators of South Park is an absolutely hilarious, offensive, politically themed action movie parody, complete with their song “Montage” in which the lyrics describe what a montage is during a montage. Also included is “America, Fuck Yeah!” and quotable lines like “Derka derka derka.” Also, the film includes perhaps one of the most disturbing sex scenes, ever. Did I mention that there are only voice actors, because everyone is a puppet? Completely over the top, but not without a valid message.

If ever there was a case of an entire film being sabotaged by its final act, it is Martyrs . It begins ever so forcifully like a deleted scene from High Tension , Inside , or other French survival films and quickly ratchets up a good amount of scenes between the two lead girls. However at the one hour mark, an odd detour and shoehorned exposition turn a great horror film into random scenes of senseless violence. I have nothing against violence if it serves a purpose in a film. Here it just destroys the previous sixty minutes' good work.

You would think I would like Let’s Go to Prison . Directed by Bob Odenkirk . Features Will Arnett , David Keochner , Chi McBride and Dylan Baker . Written by Thomas Lennon . But I don’t. Perhaps it’s because it is a comedy that I laughed at once. Maybe it’s because Dax Shepard is in the majority of it. Maybe because it is incredibly boring. Whatever it is, it sucks. Yet, Comedy Central insists on cramming it down my throat 4 times a day, like they do with Idiocracy (also featuring Dax Shepard).

Welcome to a new series on Movie Scum aptly titled Mini Scum. Here, we discuss and review a movie in 100 words or less because it does not warrant a normal random review. I’m not adverse to a movie that takes the slow approach toward its resolution. What I am not a fan of is movies that ride along for two hours (!) before a hastily written ending which does not make a lick of sense. Syriana has the star power with Clooney and Damon especially but they are fairly dull and just small pieces of the boring cog of the story. This screams to be an important Oscar movie and with two awards it succeeded. But being acclaimed does not make it a good movie. Stick with Jack Ryan instead for political espionage.