Movie Scum

Considering Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem takes no more than fifteen minutes to murder a child by way of an alien chest buster, I was pretty stoked. And shockingly, it mostly held up to my grand expectations for it.

Going in to see Ready Player One, I didn’t have any expectations. For one, I haven’t read the book – no, you can’t have my gamer card. Second, the idea that a movie can be carried solely by its numerous pop culture references is absurd to me; recent films that have followed this formula are proof of such, like the somewhat amusing yet ultimately shallow Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Thankfully, Steven Spielberg ’s nostalgia parade is more than the sum of its parts!

Remember way back when Michael Bay wasn’t responsible for teenaged-fantasy films of semi-nudity, explosions, and gratuitous slow-mo? Yeah, me neither.

Hell hath no fury like a dog owner scorned. Harkening back to uber-violent action films of the 80s and 90s, Keanu Reeves as titular character John Wick is cold, calm, collected, and quite badass assassin as he single-handedly takes down an entire underground syndicate and the crime boss Tarasov’s son kills Wick’s dog while stealing his car. Being that the dog was a gift was his late wife, Wick does not take this too well and soon is running around whatever unnamed metropolis decimating the legions of bad guys working for Tarasov who are protecting his son. While he typically gets much grief for his limited range and acting abilities, Reeves absolutely shines here as the withdrawn, broken Wick. Many fight scenes and shootouts occur during the film where Wick executes those in his way in a cold, brutal fashion and Reeves looks mighty creepy with his blank, emotionless face while pulling the trigger point-blank at a man. Co-directors Chad Stahelski and David Leitch make what...

If there was ever a movie at odds with itself, The Kingdom is it. Released in 2007, Peter Berg ’s film about an attack on Americans living in Saudi Arabia likes to attempt straddling the line between political thriller and mindless action film. The story written by Matthew Michael Carnahan seems to try delving deeper into the social and political ramifications of Americans killed abroad and the subsequent FBI investigative team sent but is constantly undercut by half-handed dialogue and shoot-’em-up scenes to keep it from becoming “boring.” Most jarring is the third act of the film which changes from a milquetoast Tom Clancy novel into a milquetoast Tom Clancy novel-based film in which the main team, led by the quite charismatic Jamie Foxx , is pulled into a rugged Saudi neighborhood with machine guns and RPGs apparently just laying around. After an hour and a half of diplomacy and some sense of restraint, the film pivots into a full out action, go ‘Murica type of film. Othe...

There are not too many positive examples of video-game-to-film transitions that you can point to. Some, like the first Resident Evil movie, are spun off from their console counterparts into a mediocre cinema treat that is begging to be forgotten after you’ve concluded watching it. Others are rancid piles of feces. Heavenly Sword: The Movie (based on the hit interactive graphic adventure!) falls more toward the former than the latter. It is not however without its own issues. About six weeks ago, Kenny asked me to review this film. Having never even heard of the game before, I was reluctant to take part for fear that it catered solely toward those already familiar with the premise. Having read the film’s summary on Wikipedia, I realized that it did a fine job in conveying some of the more important points but due to the necessary truncation, some elements were not as fleshed out as I would have preferred. I blame Todd Farmer, writer of the interstellar juggernaut Jason X. Heavenly...

As one half of 2013′s dueling White House under siege films, Olympus Has Fallen is so patently absurd that it is borderline offensive. From the opening frame of the film, the story apparently takes place in a fictitious universe that lacks any common sense of terrorist attacks, tactical ability, or even the best way of not dying from automatic machine gun fire. But even though it is stupid enough to make your eyes bleed, this is way better than it has any right to be.

Somewhere between Peter Weller deciding to hand over the RoboCop suit to Robert John Burke , the big wigs at OCP, or whatever big business in charge, decided that RoboCop needed to be more family friendly, thus leading to the first PG-13 film in the series. Never mind the fact that the original is a gory mess, even for an 80s movie, and the sequel probably expended more rounds than the Persian War, some damn parental board decided RoboCop should be a corporate product complete with action figures and cars and even it’s own spin-off TV show not too much later. Hence: RoboCop 3 . Since the last installment, old Detroit has gone to shit even more, OCP has merged with some Japanese company, and a military-esque team is brought in to force them damn ghetto people out by force for the construction of OCP’s idealistic Delta City. Luckily the ragtag team of CCH Pounder , Stephen Root , Daniel von Bargen , and a cute, smart displaced girl with uncanny computer skills decide to fight the pr...

It’s almost funny that Irvin Kershner , director of the undisputed best Star Wars movie, was tapped as the director of RoboCop 2 . While I can’t say I’ve seen any of his other works, he seems to be the studio-appointed and restrained errand boy as opposed to Verhoeven on the original. So naturally with the law of sequels, RoboCop 2 features most of the same players but with a bigger foe in the titular character. Stripped of its social and historical allusions, RoboCop 2 is just another sequel that attempts to up the ante with less else new to offer as the evil conglomerate OCP attempts to recreate RoboCop from a psychotic drug dealer. Surprisingly things don’t work out as planned which fortunately leads to one of the best police shootouts on film. But instead of the heroic journey that Murphy endures in the original, here he is sidelined and neutered. Even though the finale of the last film had Peter Weller’s character realizing he is more than simply a corporate product of dest...

With the release of the newest RoboCop reboot trailer which I must say has me intrigued, I wanted to officially revisit the original of which I've seen approximately 413 times. While the argument can be made for just about any remake, RoboCop is one of the few "old" movies that has more cultural relevance today than it did upon it's release. Big conglomerates, similar to OCP, are basically running the United States; the city of Detroit is bankrupt and probably will snap up any corporate sponsor it can, and between drones and the NSA and everything else we know nothing about, technology seems to be far outpacing our ability to harness it. If it sounds like I am paranoid, I am (not really at least). But basically all of this was foretold twenty-six years ago with arguably Paul Verhoeven 's most complex film, excluding Jesse Spano in her Showgirls stage. Much like many of the age-inappropriate movies I consumed under the age of 10, the themes and allusions o...

It seems that since the terrorist attacks in 2001 and the following wars in Iraq and Afganistan, more and more movies and television shows were produced with elements of Middle East tension, a terrorist mastermind, questionable intelligence, or some combination of the above. With the eventual onslaught of bad news from the frontlines of the war and the sheer amount of pop culture fashioned around these modern storytelling tropes, it is easy to grow tired of that trend no matter your innate desire to watch Jack Bauer use "enhanced interrogation" methods. But Zero Dark Thirty 's theoretical trump card of a "realistic" portrayal of the hunt for Osama bin Laden is too little, too late, and especially too rough around the edges for the already crowded geopolitical subgenre.

With a dynamic cast and an engaging story, it would be hard for Argo to fall flat but considering Grant Heslov and George Clooney's output as a producing team, it could have as easily ended up as an overwrought, insufferable look at international relations (cough,Syriana). Fortunately though, Ben Affleck returns to the director's chair bringing his experience and past strengths and little of the overdramatic and deadly serious tones that normally populate this sub-sub-genre.

Why did I not have a desire to see Warrior when it was in theaters? The stellar-looking cast including Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton didn’t hurt but perhaps it was the seemingly overwrought story of two estranged brothers who each are fighting against each other for whichever predetermined important reason. (Was that even supposed to be a surprise in the final act? Because it’s all over the trailer!) Or perhaps Warrior didn’t strike my fancy since I am hardly a sports fanatic even though the brutality and testosterone-y aspects of MMA are pretty cool. Yet, all it took was one of my colleagues saying “You’ll want to tackle someone while watching it” that got me on board. For the record, he was right. Even if you are Amish or have short-term memory problems, or have otherwise not seen the entire narrative spoiled in the previews, the story in Warrior is so expected that you can see it coming from two summers ago. Hardy plays Tommy Conlon, an angry and bitter man who has suffered thr...

If you recall from my review of the first film , I wasn’t a huge fan of the first washed-up action star reunion show. It had its moments and is decent enough for a soulless, mindless popcorn flick but nothing more. As such, I wasn’t expecting much from its follow-up. Surprisingly enough though, The Expendables 2 is a bit goofier and a bit more over-the-top but it is a nice entry into the random action film category. The idea of a sequel to the first film is not a hard sell since Sylvester Stallone and his band of mercenary misfits are designed to be an autonomous group traversing the world to kill tons of people and woo women. This time around, Stallone’s Barney Ross (did he have a name in the first? I didn’t catch it at least) is tasked by Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) to retrieve a sensitive package from a downed plane. Even though Church describes it as a cake-walk, things are anything but once the villainous Jean-Claude Van Damme shows up to intercept the package. Oh, and that c...

On paper (and in the ads), Act of Valor sounds like an interesting premise: an action film shot using Navy SEALs in place of actors. After all, if they can portray even half of the cool stuff the general public even knows about, it should kick ass, right? Eh, sadly not so much. Of all movie genres, it doesn't take too much for me to like a military-based film probably much like the rest of the world enjoys the hell out of military-based video games. Mostly in these films there is a decent story, great action, and overwhelming sense of humility for even the fictional military members doing things that I'd rather not have to think about. They are almost cathartic that way. Act of Valor on the other hand fizzles out almost from the start with a heavy-handed narration from one SEAL to (presumably) the son of another fallen soldier. In the next scene, we meet Rourke who is about to deploy and whose wife is expecting a baby. As if his fate as an expectant father in a dangerous ...

Honestly, I don't think I even know of this film before it came out in theaters a few weeks ago and I certainly had no desire to see it. Strangely though, Chronicle received so many positive reviews (85% on Rotten Tomatoes, 7.6 on IMDb) that I thought I would be remiss without seeing it, especially as I had a free movie ticket burning a hole in my pocket. If all you know about it is "superhero found footage film" then stop now and go see it. I can almost guarantee you won't be disappointed. I suppose this was somewhat covered in X-Men: First Class (though honestly I don't remember how much), but the film's main angle is 'what would you do if you had super powers?' For Andrew ( Dane DeHaan ), Matt ( Alex Russell ), and Steve ( Michael B. Jordan ), the first answer is to fool around with it, all for fun and games of course. After their chance encounter with an odd foreign object, the trio develops the power of telekinesis and quickly use it to beam...

Written by: Tabitha Johnson Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows picks up close to where the last one left off. Sherlock ( Robert Downy Jr. ) has spent an untold amount of time between films piecing together a continent wide conspiracy. With Watson ( Jude Law ) getting married he knew he had to finagle him into also being interested in the conspiracy. There has been bombings throughout Europe and he concludes that it his arch nemesis, Professor Moriarty ( Jared Harris ). He safely stops one bomb just for the mark to be assassinated none the less by the hit man. In guise of Watson's Bachelor party Holmes sets out to collect more clues. Enter Noomi Rapace (Girl with the DragonTattoo) as Madam Simza the soothsayer. Fighting ensues and a disastrous and drunk evening winds up with a disheveled Watson late for his wedding the following day. Holmes was used to being the smartest man in the chase until he tangles again with Moriarty. The professor is always two steps ahead and ...

I was quite disappointed when Attack the Block did not receive a proper screening anywhere close to the Movie Scum headquarters, especially after hearing so much advance acclaim from the gazillion festivals and select screenings it had. Yet, the film is now in reach at your local Redbox or Blockbuster and I highly recommend a viewing for many of the same reasons given before: this is flat out a fun movie experience. Think back to when we (proverbially speaking of course) were kids and there were globs of adolescent empowerment films about kids saving the day while the adults were just sitting on their thumbs. Writer and director Joe Cornish is clearly a member of that generation as the best description I can give of this film is The Goonies meets Alien . Set in a not-so-nice part of downtown London, our core cast consists of a gaggle of delinquent youths, some legitimately of the tougher sort, some not. The gang, led by Moses(!) ( John Boyega ) holds up the meek and defenseless...

Written by: PBF First off, I have never read the graphic novel, so I swear to God, if you negate my review if this film wasn’t faithful to the source material, I will sick Kane Hodder on you. S cott Pilgrim vs. The World is 100% pure entertainment. Every fucking thing about it. From the comic booky words that fly on the screen, to the insanely clever script that is basically a group of well constructed lines stacked in order of hilarity that assemble a story. Visually, aurally, intellectually and otherwisely this film is extremely pleasing. It’s almost guerilla like in its blatant disregard for seamless scene transitions. Which, by the way, is awesome. Pretty much every scene or line is completely unexpected and hilarious. There literally is a laugh about every 1.5 seconds. I have accused Michael Cera of being repetitive in his characters. This is the first film in which even though he still employs some of the same traits, I did notice that he does actually distinguish his ...

Considering that this seems to be the summer of superheroes and 3D turds, it was nice to hear that Jon Favreau was making an honest-to-goodness summer blockbuster with real actors (no Shia here!) and no fancy extra-dimensional trickery. Yet, I was sad to hear that many of the advance reviews of Cowboys & Aliens were largely negative. I didn’t read any of them but I can see where they probably are coming from. It’s not as good as I hoped but it was enjoyable enough. At least 66% of it was. The late 1800s must have been a terribly interesting time what with the recent conclusion of the Civil War, a burgeoning industrial nation threatening the traditional old-timey towns, and of course those greedy, gold-seeking aliens who snatch up unwilling science project participants. But no air conditioning. That’s a deal breaker for me. When Jake Lonergan ( Daniel Craig ) wakes up in the middle of nowhere, he doesn’t seem fazed by the lack of air conditioning, or even his lack of memory....