Movie Scum

Throwback movies prove that some films exist just for shits, giggles and entertainment without an agenda, completely unlike most of what the Academy nominated this year. After all, what can be better than a low-budget film featuring attractive women involved in a vicious fight between a ludicrous stop-motion tentacled monster? The answer: not The Artist .* Available today on DVD from Breaking Glass Pictures, El Monstro del Mar! is a quaint tale from Down Under about Beretta ( Nelli Scarlet ), Blondie ( Karli Madden ) and Snowball ( Kate Watts ), three women who are as much empowered as they are tattooed, who seek a shack with a waterfront view after ruthlessly killing two locals in their path. After arriving at the shack, Blondie and Snowball take the opportunity to play in the water before being verbally scolded by Joseph ( Norman Yemm ) for being there. As things escalate between the vixens and the old man, his granddaughter Hannah ( Kyrie Capri ) breaks it up and catches the g...

Written by: PBF The Summer of Massacre will arrive on DVD and Blu-Ray on January 10th 2012 via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is 5 stories so bloody; so full of carnage that it is apparently in the Guinness Book of World records for highest body count recorded in a film. I am too lazy to verify that, so, you know, go ahead and Google or Wikipedia that. Whichever one you use to tell you what to believe. You ever wanted to know what it would be like if Clive Barker took mescaline and then made a film? Joe Castro provides us with a pretty good guess. This film is ultra violent about 98.7% of the time. We have 5 chapters of dizzying images, ear piercing sounds and nonsensical industrial house music, and blood flowing like urine from a pissing contest atop Mt. Everest. I mean if something or someone could bleed, they did, as if their lives depended on it (!).

Written by: PBF George: A Zombie Intervention (or George’s Intervention ) comes to us via Breaking Glass Pictures. It’s quite an interesting take on the genre, but poorly executed. The film opens with an educational film shown to school children. The opening was actually quite clever. It serves as exposition to us, and is meant to teach children the facts about zombies. Zombies have become members of society. So much so that there is a zombie technical support line. There are spores in the air that humans inhale. The spores lie dormant until the human dies. The spores then wake up and keep the brain functioning thus turning the human into a zombie. Not mindless Romero zombies. Rather, they simply remain their former selves, and are self aware that they are the undead. Unlike your typical film zombies, shooting them in the head does not kill them. It only makes them brain dead which turns them into the standard flesh seeking walkers. They only way to kill a zombie in this univers...

Written by: PBF The Coffin , directed by Ekachai Uekrongtham will be released on DVD August 31, via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is based on a Thai ritual. The ritual involves a person who wishes to “cheat death and end bad luck” being sealed in a coffin and a funeral being performed over them. This is done in large groups. People claim to have gone into a coffin with Cancer and come out only to be given a clean bill of health on their next doctor visit. Some people believe in it and others believe it is hogwash. Su (Karen Mok) is a young woman who left Bangkok and Jack, to whom she was going to marry. She hasn’t told anyone that she has lung cancer. She goes to Thailand to be part of a mass funeral. Soon after participating (possibly even on her way home from it as the movie suggests) she is involved in a serious car accident. She escapes with only bruises, but learns that she no longer has cancer. While recuperating, she is given some terrible news and begins to have disturbing ...

Written by: PBF Exit 33 will be released to DVD on August 2 via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is directed by Tommy Brunswick and stars Kane Hodder . You may remember Hodder from his role as the best Jason Voorhees ever (in arguably the worst installments of that franchise). He has also appeared in Adam Green’s Hatchet films (and many others). A small group of friends (some travelling alone, some together) are going to their 5 year high school reunion. On their way, they come across Ike’s Last Chance Gas. In addition to owning the gas station, Ike (Hodder) is a bit of a taxidermist and also makes a fine venison jerky. His deer heads and jerky can be found in his store. This station lies off of Exit 33, which not often used (despite the 9 or so visitors in one night). Ike and his store seem a bit creepy. For good reason. Ike is deeply troubled and has a terrible secret. Unfortunately for some of his patrons, they find out exactly what it is.

Written by: PBF Strangers Online is excruciating. Watching it is like watching one of those Cinemax movies that come on at 2am, but actually trying to care for and follow the plot. Yes, this film should be nestled right between Sex Games: Vegas and The Bare Wench Project. Much like my relationship with this film, Hollis Parker (Noel Palomaria) is trying to forget the memory and stop the nightmares of when his wife was murdered 4 years ago. Currently, he hosts a web show called Strangers Online. Guests call via their web cams for sexual and relationship advice, to show their bodies, or sometimes just to be plain weird. Hollis’s show is quite popular, as is he. Hollis is in therapy, as he is guilt ridden over not being able to protect his wife from being murdered. This is what leads to his nightmares. He lives in seclusion with his girlfriend, Laura (Eva Frajko). A new intern, Karen (Tara Killian) has quite a crush on Hollis, which develops into an unhealthy obsession. Laura also ...

Written by: PBF In yet another porn to mainstream transition, adult film star Alexis Texas stars in Bloodlust Zombies . This film is sort of a piss poor combination of Office Space and Zombieland . And porno. It arrives on DVD on July 5th. So there is this office building. In the building there is a lab where some kind of chemical is being developed and tested. At the beginning of the film, all we know about it is that it seems to make house cats insane. The boss and Andrea (Texas) are having sex when they accidentally tun the office intercom system on. The entire building can hear the fornication and react by laughing and/or mimicking sexual positions. Why, even the serious minded lab workers join in the fun and accidentally cause a spill. Someone gets bitten by an insane house cat test subject and BAM! There’s your outbreak. So, to be more factual, these would be blood lust infected, not zombies. It is later explained that the chemical was actually designed to be used in wars as...

Written by: PBF Bleading Lady (or Star Vehicle, apparently) is the latest film by Ryan Nicholson, of Gutterballs and Hanger “fame.” It arrives on DVD March 29th, courtesy of Breaking Glass Pictures. This film is much less gory and offensive as Hanger and takes a sort of “straight” approach. What results is a rather mixed bag of things. Don Cardini (Dan Ellis) is a movie set driver who transports cast and crew to and from set. He is currently working on a film that stars his favorite scream queen Riversa Red (Sindy Faranguna). Don and the director of the film, Luke (Nathan Durec) do not like each other, mainly because Don is a deidcated horror fan and has a distaste for rip off films, which he believes Luke is making. He especially does not like this as Riversa is in it, and he has a thing for her. When Don learns that Riversa has a bit of a stalker problem, he sort of employs himself as her personal assistant. Don shows Riversa a copy of a script that he wrote, which she likes. L...

Written by: PBF ***THIS REVIEW PROBABLY CONTAINS A SPOILER*** Half Moon will arrive on DVD on March 1st via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is writer/director Jason Toler’s take on the werewolf story. There are quite a bit of issues with the film, but it is impressive nonetheless. Rose (award winning adult star Tori Black) is a hooker who like most hookers, is under strict and violent management by a pimp, and needs to make some cash. While working the streets, Rose and her fellow hooker friend Tammi are talking. Tammi tells Rose that tonight is “payday” as one of regulars will call her and he usually pays quite well and normally does not even want to have sex. Tammi asks Rose to hold her purse while she takes a piss, and ends up getting arrested. This happens to occur at the exact time that her regular, Jacob (Marek Matousek) calls her. Rose answers and needing money and knowing Tammi will be unable to make it, pretends that she is Tammi and meets Jacob at his hotel. What starts o...