Strangers Online is excruciating. Watching it is like watching one of those Cinemax movies that come on at 2am, but actually trying to care for and follow the plot. Yes, this film should be nestled right between Sex Games: Vegas and The Bare Wench Project.
Much like my relationship with this film, Hollis Parker (Noel Palomaria) is trying to forget the memory and stop the nightmares of when his wife was murdered 4 years ago. Currently, he hosts a web show called Strangers Online. Guests call via their web cams for sexual and relationship advice, to show their bodies, or sometimes just to be plain weird. Hollis’s show is quite popular, as is he. Hollis is in therapy, as he is guilt ridden over not being able to protect his wife from being murdered. This is what leads to his nightmares. He lives in seclusion with his girlfriend, Laura (Eva Frajko). A new intern, Karen (Tara Killian) has quite a crush on Hollis, which develops into an unhealthy obsession. Laura also appears to have someone obsessing over her as well, and things just get completely boring from there.
This is just terrible. It is so incredibly boring. The funny thing is, it so boring that when a sex scene occurs, you are kind of jarred. If this were a porno, then the alternating scenes of uselessness and sex would make sense. But since this a terribly lifeless “erotic thriller,” it’s kind of like driving down a long highway staring at miles of trees, then seeing a field of cows. You get all excited at first because it’s not trees, but then you are like, “Ah who cares, it’s just cows.”
The audio was quite inconsistent. A lot of times you can’t hear the actors, sometimes you can hear them very well. You can always hear the terrible music, however.
This film is also a liar by way of its categorization. It is nether erotic nor thrilling. It just kind of sits there and presents random scenes of little to no interest, much like a screen saver that is a slideshow of someone else’s photo album.
There really is not much to say about this film. It’s not funny, not suspenseful, not erotic, not thought provoking and it does not contribute anything to American Cinema. So, there you go. It’s crap.
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