Movie Scum

As I was revisiting my Eight Legged Freaks review after rescuing it from the obscurity of my old site archive, I began to ponder: why don’t we get giant killer bug movies anymore?

I do not care for these Avatar movies. I have made that case before. In between stepping on a deserved landmine about feminism and over-promising a return to greatness for his signature series , James Cameron has apparently been spending the past eight years honing his talents for not one, nor two, but FOUR sequels to his CGI Dances with Wolves property. Granted, Avatar is somehow the highest grossing worldwide film but the demand for these additional sequels is ... what’s the opposite of palpable? The Dissolve had a great piece back in the day about the disposable nature of Avatar and it’s legacy only a few years after its release. For such a huge movie-going experience, no one talks about Avatar except for the promised forthcoming sequels. Have you seen any Avatar cosplay recently? Any Halloween costumes since Obama was elected a second time? Avatar is currently at its nadir of pop-culture relevance. And yet, we still supposedly have four ... more ... sequels coming so...

At this point where potential blockbusters are fizzling faster than an opened 2-liter soda and the Age of Superhero Glut is rapidly approaching with a list of theatrical releases that only rivals the Republican candidates, when will the general public become as oversaturated with superheroes as they were slashers in the 80s or Haley Joel Osment in the 90s? Enter Deadpool. No doubt by now you’ve seen the Deadpool trailer and the awesomeness it brings along with it. But even though Deadpool is not a household name (at least not in my comic-book reading household), the film seems to strive to break the monotony of heroes, gods, larger-than-life villains but not a lot of substance. Of course, Deadpool ’s biggest draw over it’s crowded marketplace is that Fox has committed to releasing a Hard-R picture which not only can provide the blood and guts that tameless PG-13 films have had to curtail, but also to showcase Deadpool’s very iconic and abrasive personality with all the F-bombs a...

If you weren’t aware, there is a new Fantastic Four film coming out this summer. By all accounts (and certainly by previous output), it will suck. But it will not be because of race. Michael B. Jordan plays the Human Torch (aka The Flamer) in the newest adaptation of Marvel’s iconic comic series that so far has registered a big fat zero on the interest scale of Puck’s movie watching. This one was really no different, not for race or changing of the villain to a blogger or anything of that nature, but because I don’t really care. Some people really do care though. In case you have never seen Chronicle, Jordan is black. The Human Torch in his comic form is white. This has apparently caused much consternation for people. On one hand no doubt, you have comic book purists who would would rather flamboyantly set themselves on fire than have any deviation from their precious source material. They are idiots and lonely and have nothing to hang to other than seeing big screen adven...

As I read a feature over at The Dissolve about making Blu-rays relevant again , I realize that I am not the type of film-viewer that would ever, willingly, make them irrelevant to begin with. From my early years in the late 80s and early 90s, I loved the act of collecting films on physical media, whether it be a less-than-perfect dub from a video store rental, a recording from HBO, or a hard-to-find 'SP' version of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 . Eventually, these VHS tapes gave way to laserdiscs (which were prohibitively expensive mostly), DVDs, and then now Blu-rays. The actual rationale (if there is one) behind my desire to own physical media has not diminished, even if the majority of the world disagrees. Blu-rays and DVDs represent something tangible to me. If you were to look at my collection, you might be impressed at the variety of titles or abhorred at the titles themselves. I mean, who really buys Maniac Cop 2 on Blu-ray? But at the very least, these discs rep...

Much to my chagrin, I tabulated Kevin Smith's major film ratings via Rotten Tomatoes and was quite surprised. On the site where the cut-off between "fresh" and "rotten" is 60%, Smith's films average 57.82%. Initially I chalked it up to the super high ratings for Chasing Amy and Clerks at 88% each but even just looking at his past fifteen year output gives us 48% Who are these people watching and reviewing and giving high scores to these Kevin Smith movies? At best, the collective internet reaction to a new Kevin Smith movie, such as today's confirmation that Smith is making a Mallrats 2 for ... I'm sure valiant reasons, is a collective 'meh.' Even the long-gestating Clerks III has the internet upswell of an Antiques Roadshow revival. Considering that 2010's Silent Bob is likely far more successful and not making Cop Out 2 , many would prefer he stuck to his weekly "reality" show and the 38 weekly podcasts. And even i...

SCENE: SWANKY CONFERENCE ROOM FILLED WITH OCP INVESTORS Old Man: Our system of entertainment is under assault and dangerous crime. The real crime: unoriginalty. In an effort to replace Hollywood with our own Delta City CA, we need a cop who not only has the weapons to fight these street thugs but the resources to use them. Ladies and gentlemen…. I introduce to you …..

**THIS RANT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ANY NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET MOVIE** A remake/reboot/reimagining/whatever is truly not a bad idea at the surface. There are many films or even ideas that are not fully realized in their original form whether it suffered from technological limitations, poor production, or other issues. Other than the George Lucases of the world, most filmmakers or companies are not able to retroactively go back and fix problem areas in an already released movie. The problem comes in when a remake offers nothing over the original other than a polished look, a slew of teen actors, and a more modern setting. The Nightmare on Elm Street remake is one of those offending movies. For any movie, whether it is based on an existing property or somewhat original idea, the goal should be to create something not only enjoyable but a film that can stand on its own. The Nightmare remake (which PBF did a wonderful job summarizing my thoughts before I had them in his review) leans ...

I love DVDs. Right after high school, I was buying at least a half dozen a week if not more. Yet there are several things that just pluck my nerves. This list is not in any particular order and certainly not inclusive. I am quite sure there could be a revisit to this topic eventually. 9. “Large Screen” Releases Essentially, these are films originally in a larger aspect ration, usually 2.40:1, that are cropped during a certain group of scenes. Not only do I despise not watching movies in their original ratios, the way this was handled for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was quite poor, and I’m not only referring to the movie itself. The jump back and forth between scenes (and even different shots within the same scene) is quite jarring. I know a normal movie-goer might not notice but it is rather annoying regardless. 8. Delayed Releases Now that Netflix and Redbox have caved to several studios’ demands to withhold new releases for almost a month after they hit DVD, the only wa...

False advertising is a big deal when it comes to businesses and consumer products. The laws on the books act to protect consumers against being misled about the product or service they are buying from inflated claims, inaccurate results, or overall deception. The United States even has the FTC, a government agency whose primary purpose is to protect buyers from all kinds of shenanigans. Why am I talking about this? Well, I am angry that there is no entertainment based equivalent to the FTC which would prevent unsuspecting movie goers from shelling out money on crap films. When I saw The Crazies this weekend, attached to the print was a new trailer for the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake. As I previously worried based on the test screening reviews, this remake could very well suck balls and destroy my own personal, nostalgic 80s universe by further bastardizing the franchise already undone by the likes of Freddy’s Dead and Freddy vs. Jason. But, as I sat in the darkened movie ...

I saw Mannequin in the theater. They are going to reboot this film. It better have Johnathan Silverman in it. For as you can see, the first one had Andrew McCarthy , and the second had Terry Kiser . So, in order to complete the Triumvirate, a reboot, remake or sequel, it must have Johnathan Silverman. Sadly, I do not think it will. Instead, it will apparently star Zac Efron . I assume that this will mean it will be some kind of gay musical, that pre-teens will rush to see. If it is, I demand that they use "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship , which basically melted the cheese that was the first film. If you haven't seen this movie, first, you should thank what ever deity you throw money at on your day of worship. Second, here's the basic story. Kim Cattrall is an ancient Egyptian who is cursed and turned in to a Mannequin and ends up in the future (1987) and can only come to life when Johnathan (coincidence?) Switcher is around. They work together to make...

As you might have already heard, Avatar has smashed box office records, overtaking Titanic with a current worldwide gross of $1.8 billion as of this post. As it currently enjoys an 82% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the perceived experience of seeing Avatar in an 3D screening has seemingly overpowered some of the reported flaws of the film. Even if you actively try, you won't get far on any movie site or blog without mention of the film. I even sat through a 43 minute promotion of the film on Bones , one of my favorite television shows. Yet, in spite of the good reviews and constant promotion, I have no desire to see it. Now, I can understand its importance in the film-making industry both in critical terms and in the pop culture zeitgeist. James Cameron is an excellent director who has managed to again create a film that is appealing to many demographics of movie-goers, making the film a must-see just to be current with the times. His use of the 3D effects to create the ficti...

A few episodes ago on the awesome Movie Scum video series we discussed anti-feel-good movies. One of the films that came up was the 2004 remake Dawn of the Dead where I pretty much gave away the ending, saying "Sorry if you haven't seen it, the movie's been out for five years." While we typically try to avoid important plot developments in the reviews that we write, shouldn't there be an agreed upon statute of limitations for what is considered a spoiler? While I was stalking the message boards for A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 , one of the posts was about the death of a fairly important character to the franchise. Admittedly, this character's name was in the title of the post but one of the responses left me absolutely baffled. Usually such a post would contain the word SPOILER in the title, so as not to give the plot away for people who have not yet seen the movie, like me.... Now, ignoring the fact that the movie is over twenty years old at this point, ...

I'm sure you've all been victim to the recast monster. It takes no mercy for greed, on-screen sheninigans, or scheduling conflicts. It has no reason, no sense of remorse, or even common sense. It is willing to break your suspension of disbelief and continuity just for fun. Here are just a few random recastings that I though of which make little to no sense. Victoria - Twilight series Perhaps the most recent of these offenses is Bryce Dallas Howard taking over for Rachelle Lefevre in the third of the Twilight series. The official reason was cited as scheduling conflicts. Obviously having not seen the upcoming Eclipse , I cannot pass judgment on the new interpretation of the Victoria character, but the filmmakers should have exercised a bit more caution when dealing with riled-up 14-year-olds and Twi-moms. They seem to take this stuff seriously. Kristen - Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3 & Part 4 From what I can gather, Patricia Arquette was unable to return to the rol...

It's no secret that Hollywood producers are scared to death of original ideas. One just has to look at the past decade of films to see that most big budget movies released in theaters are adaptations of existing stories (novels, short stories, and most recently, comic books) or sequels of successful and some not-so successful films. (seriously, Jumper 2 ?) But now, we are living in the age of the remake, and it pisses me off to no end. Why adapt or continue a good story when you can just take a preexisting movie and re-shoot it? There's already a built-in audience that loves the property, and that audience doesn't have to be worried about coping with new ideas or unexpected plot twists. Just look at the release line-up for 2010 and 2011. It's packed full of “new” movies that are remakes of classics, remakes of foreign films, and, most absurdly, remakes of remakes. I'll forgive that some older movies like Fritz Lang's Metropolis from 1927 might benefit from a ...

The collective filmgeeks of the world cheered when it was announced that Darren Aronofsky would be helming a remake of 1987's RoboCop as an attempt to breathe life into this once great franchise which has fallen mightily. However, the production company's financial woes not only have resulted in the film being pushed back but may even cost the world a semi-decent remake of a beloved film. The near-defunct MGM has dictated to Aronofsky that the reboot shall be made in 3D or else. Having a scant, but still highly lauded, number of titles to his name, Aronofsky does not seem to be a guy to make a movie for the money. As such, the presumed director is more than willing to walk as opposed to making a movie he does not want to. As I have previously asked , what is the big f-in deal with movies in 3D? Sure, it may work for gimmicky horror movies like My Bloody Valentine or Friday the 13th Part III with axes and eyeballs careening toward the audience, but short of the totally ...

History certainly seems to repeat itself. Films in 3D have been around for a while but seem to have peaks and valleys in their popularity. With the last burst of 3D cinema occurring close to thirty years ago (perhaps it follows the remake timeline ), more films recently have been released relying on the concept of adding that extra dimension to movies. With James Cameron's much publicized Avatar set to drop later this month, 3D films could be facing a huge resurgence depending on this film's success. But my question stems from an article quoting James Gianopulos, the CEO of Fox who was overseeing the production of Avatar: "As Jim says, we experience the world in 3D, why should we experience film any different?" Having only seen one film in theaters with 3D segments (for the record, that was the terrible Freddy's Dead ), I can't really speak for how well depth perception is really conveyed. My questions are, if films have been shot in regular 2D for de...

So, DVDs have been around for over ten years, yet there are still films that were released long ago on VHS that have yet to see the day on DVD. Now, I have lived this long without, but it irritates me that there are still pockets of unrecognized films without proper representation on the digital standard (no, I'm not counting Blu-Ray at this point). While it was lauded as a groundbreaking "meta" film at the time, some of the luster has worn off Wes Craven's Scream . However, it is still a highly entertaining exercise in understanding Kevin Williamson's highly unrealistic teenage dialect wrapped in a pretty decent slasher film. While this film has been on DVD for some time, it is not anamorphic so it looks like crap on my TV in stretch-o-vision and it is even the version trimmed down to appease the dolts at the MPAA. If Paramount can release Event Horizon on DVD three times , surely Dimension can throw a few dollars toward a decent, uncut release of this "...

Now, I understand opinions are subjective. What I like, you may not. That's fine as everyone is entitled to their own dumbass opinion. With a lame attempt to tie into Thanksgiving, MSNBC gives us their readers' choices of movies that are "real turkeys." Pulp Fiction!?! Blair Witch Project!?! These two films, whether you like them or not, are two very influential and important films of the 90s. While neither would be on my top 10 list for Best Movies Ever, it seems rather egregious to couple them with such dreck as Battlefield Earth and Showgirls. Even Battlefield, the cinematic equivalent to diarrhea, doesn't even rank on IMDb's Bottom 100 Films , a list comprised of internet participants I trust much more than those of a cable news network. Have these people not seen the horror of film on an average episode of MST3K? Or the final installment of the Police Academy series? Or Weekend at Bernie's 2 ? Again, I know opinions vary, but these people apparent...