The last chapter in our bloody journey ended rather poorly. Chris, who had come back to her father’s cabin 2 years after being attacked in the woods, had survived the latest bloodbath. After seeing Jason’s face, she realized the he was the one that attacked her. Chris not only hung the now hockey mask wearing murderer, but put an axe in his head. In an obvious dream sequence homage to the ending of part 1, Mrs. Voorhees jumps out of the lake and attacks Chris (I say obvious as Mrs. Voorhees had her head cut off, yet it is attached to her body here). We then see Chris, laughing hysterically, obviously now mentally disturbed, being taken away by the cops, who for some reason refuse to slash and burn the entire Crystal Lake area to prevent future killings.
The Final Chapter opens with the police cleaning up the carnage from part III. Jason’s body is taken to the morgue. Now, as I mentioned above, Jason was hung and then had an axe hit him, and stuck, in the head. For some reason, he wakes up in the morgue. No explanation. No voodoo curse, no George Romero (are George Romero and Stan Lee brothers?) set visit, no weird bloodline Danielle Harris excuse, he just wakes up. He quickly dispatches the nearest (and apparently only) hospital workers and returns to Crystal Lake. Now, I can sort of buy the fact that a new group of teenagers may want to visit Crystal Lake this time, as the news reports that the killer is dead. What I don’t buy is why anyone who lives remotely near the area, like the Jarvis family, would not move the fuck out after 3 movies worth of killings have happened. I also do not understand why they do not speak of the previous events until Rob, a random hitchhiker arrives, to avenge his sister Sandra’s (from part 2) death. I realize that Facebook and Twitter do not exist yet, but does anyone own a radio or TV? More importantly, would they not have heard the helicopters, police cars and ambulances that routinely run through that area?
Anyway here is the “plot” of the “final” chapter. The Jarvis family consists of Trish and her brother Tommy (Corey Feldman) and their mother. They live in the same neighborhood as Camp Blood. The cabin next door has been rented by some kids. Most notably, Jimmy (Crispin Glover) who is possibly the best dancer on the planet. Trish and Tommy run into Rob, who fixes their car and as repayment, give him a ride, expecting never to see him again. So there you go. Kids party, get naked, angry brother seeks to kill his sister’s killer.
This film is fucking retarded. In lieu of a critique, I have a list of questions for this film, and the franchise in general:
1. Why does Tommy say “You can’t be hunting for bear,” especially after the bear warning from part 2?
2. Where do all the harpoons come from?
3. Why does it rain all the time?
4. Where did the rain come from in this chapter (out of nowhere is my guess)?
5. How does Jason corkscrew Crispin Glover to death one minute, and then then suddenly throw Tina out of a second story window the next?
6. Really? Do we still need the calling of the names convention? “Ted? Is that you?” It’s the fourth film, come on.
7. I saw that Jason had black fingernails, was he in The Children?
8. Did Jason lift weights? He is quite diesel. I assume no gym would take him, as he probably stinks and is rather unsightly, so he must have exercised at home.
9. Why would Trish and Rob leave Tommy at the house now that they know Jason is loose?
10. Why is there a slow motion shot of Gordon (the Jarvis dog) jumping out the window?
11. Why does Tommy cut his hair? And further, why does his bald head hypnotize Jason?
12. Why does Trish rush back home and lock the door after seeing the dead kids? Is that really the safest place? Run somewhere for Christ’s sake?!
Also, I saw Jason breathing when he was laying down. Fuck this movie. Despite Feldman and Glover.
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