Movie Scum

Tom Cruise has proven in his accelerated, but still good-looking, age that he is up for anything. Anything meaning climbing the tallest building in Dubai, holding onto a plane in middair, and even starring in a sequel to a movie that wasn’t that great to begin with from almost 30 years ago. Producer David Ellison spoke to Collider recently about the status of the long-threatened Top Gun sequel which will now feature MOAR TOM CRUISE saying, “ [t]here is an amazing role for Maverick in the movie and there is no Top Gun without Maverick, and it is going to be Maverick playing Maverick. ” I guess this means no more Taylor Lautner taking over the reigns from Senor Cruise as was previously rumored but also no cameo from Anthony Edwards who probably could use the work. The film is supposed to focus on the plight of fighter pilots in the face of the now trendy drone pilots and probably some dog-fighting between Maverick and some “hot-shot” behind a arcade stick. And it will be in IM

With this week’s Terminator Genisys coming out to a host of potential and a good early word of mouth, of course the conversation has turned into making more money. And of course, Terminator is in talks to have a TV show spin-off. But wait? Wasn’t there a Terminator series already? One that was critically lauded and beloved by fans cut short by a writer’s strike and ended its short run with a cliffhanger? By god, you’re right! That was Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles! According to Skydance CEO David Ellison, a new TV series is in the development stages and of course will tie into the larger Terminator franchise as is the norm for just about every damn property these days. The dream for us would be to be able to obviously make films, television shows, we have a video game with Glu, comic books, and they all should be standalone experiences. If you just watch the movies or if you just watch a television show, it’s a complete experience. Of course, expanding popular

As Randy so eloquently put it in Scream 2 , sequels by their very definition are inferior works. Often times they are derivative and lack any imagination that made their predecessors so powerful. But most sequels aren’t bad per se, just worthless. These sequels though are bad enough to almost make you angry at the series for spawning such dreck.

A crude talking anthropomorphic teddy bear and a war hero dog. Which should I take the kids to see? Ted 2 Seth MacFarlane certainly didn’t win any friends after his last film, A Million Ways to Die in the West or his Oscar-hosting gig or the legions of folks who think he’s a talentless hack riding on the animated coattrails of The Simpsons . But I liked the first Ted and I can tolerate Family Guy even if it’s whatever the opposite of appointment TV. MacFarlane’s problem is MacFarlane. His juvenile schtick wasn’t too robust to begin with and that seems to be all he has going for him. Sure, people still like him. I still tolerate him. He’ll be fine with the 13 hour animated block he has on FOX every week. But I’d be surprised to see Ted 2 do as well as the original did. Tides are shifting, man. Max With the trailer proclaiming Max is from the director of Remember the Titans (uplifting!) and a producer of Marley & Me (gut-punching), I think it’s pretty safe to as

Zombeavers   has no business being as good as it is. Stop me if you’ve heard this premise before. A group of horny co-eds go to an empty cabin in the middle of nowhere and are picked off one-by-one by some gruesome, unstoppable force of nature. Since this basic gist describes the vast majority of horror films produced in the 80s so you’d be forgiven if your appetite wasn’t enthusiastically whetted. However, where before we had masked psychopaths with questionable parental supervision, here we have killer beavers. More specifically zombified killer beavers. It’s fantastic. Co-screenwriter/director Jordan Rubin is clearly well versed in the tropes of the horror films of yore. We have our batch of easily disposable victims, simple and close-minded locals that no one pays attention to, and gloriously cheesy practical effects when the ZOMBEAVERS come knocking (and chewing) at the door. I was reminded of Adam Green’s Hatchet   while watching this as it is an attempt to recreate the h

While I don’t hold out much hope for Batman V. Superman , Ben Affleck is not a point of my consternation. Given his resurgence as a powerful actor/director combo, I trust Affleck will be the least troubling part of DC Comic’s epic superhero movie of 2016. It’s just the shaky director, the overstuffed cast, and the gimmicky premise that has me questioning my future earnings on a box office ticket. But a solo Batman flick, simply titled The Batman , not only starring Affleck but also directed by him too? Count me in. At this point it is merely a rumor posited by Latino Review that Affleck will be in the director’s chair but I’d argue that’s a fine choice for whatever direction DC decides to take Batman. Affleck has already proved his worth in his previous directorial efforts of Gone Baby Gone , The Town , and Argo (factually notwithstanding) and I’m anxious to see what his take on the iconic character will look like when not shoehorned in with every other damn DC Comics char

Terminator Genisys : Opening July 1 The Good : Reboots are all the rage these days in Hollywood, especially since that means they can make a buck from movie-goers dying to see their favorite franchise in better places than ... say Terminator Salvation. Genisys (stupid spelling aside) seems to sort-of buck that trend with a page ripped out of Back to the Future 2: revisiting familiar faces and places but with a different twist. Given the complexity of the time-travel machinations, this doesn’t seem to be a bad choice. Also, the Mother of Dragons as Sarah Conner looks pretty good too. The Bad : This is the fifth movie in this franchise. James Cameron pulled off a miracle in Terminator 2 with larger stakes, bigger action pieces, and a story that mattered. Most sequels these days apply that template but forget to fill in the rest of the details. It is possible this is one such tale that leaves the paint-by-numbers pieces blank. The Prognostication : Decent reception if only beca

After a few false starts and broken dreams, Dimension Films is again readying to unleash Michael Myers on film-going audiences. Bloody Disgusting reports that plans have been unveiled for Halloween Returns *, the eleventh installment to the franchise whose on- and off-screen butching has been around since 1978. Returns (not to be confused with Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers ) will be written by Feast and Saw scribes Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunston with Dunston set to direct. The story (as if it mattered as long as there is no white horse around) is that Myers in now on death row for his crimes but escapes (natch) and has in his targets a child of a former victim and a tough-nosed cop who is obsessed with Myers. Probably also other semi-naked, horny teens since this is a latter day Halloween film. From the cast reports, this installment seems to return the series back to its original continuity from the first two films rather than continuing Rob Zombie’s insanity o

As N ick Offerman ’s character says in 22 Jump Street , no one gave a shit about the “Jump Street reboot” but it did well enough to be brought back again. Only everyone wants the exact same thing. Fortunately, this movie is smarter than to retread standard sequel ground. After a illegal goods bust gone bad, Jenko ( Channing Tatum ) and Schmidt ( Jonah Hill ) are reassigned back to the Jump Street project, still under the direction of the angry black captain Dickson played by Ice Cube, to go undercover to college and investigate a new synthetic drug. Everyone emphasizes that Schmidt and Jenko are to do the exact same thing to crack the case. Directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller know well enough that standard sequel shenanigans won’t cut it after the meta-infused original that skewered the idea of Hollywood recycling and unoriginal ideas. As such, Lord and Miller turn their attention to the notion of second outings, and their built-in expectations of more of the first film

Unbreakable   was a modest success for director M. Night Shyamalan after his genuinely good (remember when that was true) debut and now, Night longs to bring it to TV. Speaking with IGN , Shyamalan expresses interest in continuing the saga of undercover superheroes (note: I haven’t seen this movie in forever) saying. “as a way continue the story, yes. That would [interest me].” We here at Movie Scum are strongly in favor of the shift to great, truncated TV dramas but are hesitant that M. Night (regardless of whatever acclaim his recent show Wayward Pines is getting) should be allowed anywhere near the same medium as The Good Wife , Game of Thrones , or Breaking Bad . And let us not forget that he directed The Happening . And The Last Airbender . And After Earth . And ...

San Andreas : Opening May 29 The Good : Disaster movies are fun, especially when they take place (like they seem to do the majority of the time) on the West Coast full of granola-crunching hippies singing Kumbaya (note: I’ve never been further west than Ohio). Disaster movies these days are also good for mediocre special effects showing the complete destruction of iconic areas and landmarks and San Andreas looks no different. But if anyone can take on the mother of all earthquakes, it’s The Rock with sidekick Carla Gugino. The Bad : Let’s be honest though. The disaster movie genre of the 70s is long gone and it took with it any sense of characterization or possible realism. San Andreas is a Hollywood producer’s wet dream with big blockbustin’ stars, action, effects ... the whole nine yards. And boy, does it show it in every single trailer or TV spot I’ve seen for this with the crumbling buildings, massive chasms in the ground and a 100’ tidal wave that The Rock(!) powers a speed

Aside from a voice-over role in Gnomeo and Juliet and an assuredly special episode of Walker, Texas Ranger , Hulk Hogan has mostly kept his hijinks in the fake ring of professional wrestling. Will that be changing soon? Not since Hogan and Tiny ‘Zeus’ Lister faced off with the smarmy assistant from Ghostbusters 2 in No Holds Barred have I been as excited about The Hulk appearing against a bunch of wrinkle-faced mutants (Gremlins 2 not withstanding). The Hulk confirms talks with Sylvester Stallone about appearing in the presumably forthcoming Expendables 4 as the villainous villain who no doubt will kill and maim and bring our rag-tag team of Expendables (and maybe -belles) together. Considering The Rock is likely a good twenty years away from taking this role, Hogan seems like a good fit. I just hope they can find a suitable stunt man.

In a grim look a at teenager’s life, White Rabbit shows that some people are born to be hunters and some are molded that way. Tim McCann ’s film is at times not predicable and at others you can completely see everything unfold. Beginning with Harlon ( Nick Krause ) as a boy whose father eggs him into killing a trapped white rabbit and jumping forward through the years to show the systematic abuse he suffers from classmates, teachers, and even his own drug-addled and drunk father, it is clear that Harlon is not emotionally stable. Couple this with his obsession with a comic book that he speaks to, Harlon has little in his life of note with the exception of Steve, a younger boy also forced to suffer at the hands of society. Things begin to get better when Harlon meets Julie ( Britt Robertson ), a new transplant into his high school who has issues of her own but the two forge a bond and almost a relationship through alcohol, drugs, and shooting guns in the small town. Soon though,

If you weren’t aware, there is a new Fantastic Four film coming out this summer. By all accounts (and certainly by previous output), it will suck. But it will not be because of race. Michael B. Jordan plays the Human Torch (aka The Flamer) in the newest adaptation of Marvel’s iconic comic series that so far has registered a big fat zero on the interest scale of Puck’s movie watching. This one was really no different, not for race or changing of the villain to a blogger or anything of that nature, but because I don’t really care. Some people really do care though. In case you have never seen Chronicle, Jordan is black. The Human Torch in his comic form is white. This has apparently caused much consternation for people. On one hand no doubt, you have comic book purists who would would rather flamboyantly set themselves on fire than have any deviation from their precious source material. They are idiots and lonely and have nothing to hang to other than seeing big screen adven

One’s a low-cost remake of an 80s classic while the other’s a big-budget original tale. Who will win? Tomorrowland Having only skimmed advance reviews, I still have little idea what Brad Bird’s Tomorrowland is about save for George Clooney being a curmudgeon and a magical pin that transports Britt Robertson to the titular place. Of that skimming though, I took away that Bird may have been better off taking over the Star Wars Franchise. Verdict: Live Another Day Poltergeist Some might say this is an unnecessary remake (and they’re probably right), but the fact is that kids born prior to the 90s aren’t scared by static on TV anymore than they know what a stinkin’ CRT TV looks like. Some of the scenes shown thus far look good but the whole affair seems to hem quite closely to the original (and still very effective original). Verdict: Just another reel on the cinematic Indian burial ground of needless remakes.

The only film director more past his prime than Kevin Smith, George Romero , will have his groaning, shuffling corpse of relevance displayed on weekly TV. Romero, fresh off the disappointments of his last several zombie movies, apparently turned to Marvel to create ‘ Empire of the Dead ,’ a story which features humans, zombies, and vampires for some reason all vying for control or social issues or some nonsense. And according to Variety , it will be joining the growing party of the undead on weekly broadcast. No word yet on how much it will suck.

In spite of the rumor* that all the Transformers films thus far have been impromptu sketches from the mind of Michael Bay, there actually were credited writers on each and every one. Now their are more writers who get the renowned prestige of listing Transformers on their resume. Variety reports that the threatened Transformers spin-offs and sequels have found writers ranging from The Walking Dead ’s Robert Kirkman to at least four other action writers not currently attached to scribe a Marvel film. Perhaps it is best that Paramount is going this thoroughly asinine way of expanding the Transformers universe to finally fulfill either the prophecy of End of Times or a public saturation of robot-based racial and testicle jokes. One of the two has to be the result. *I made up this rumor. But it tracks.

One for the kids ... one for the slightly more grown kids. Pitch Perfect 2 When 2012’s Pitch Perfect opened, it was a modest hit but with tremendous staying power thanks in no part to that damn Cups song. But now Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson are back in a ‘Bring It On’ style dance off after being booted from their competition. Will they succeed? Will Rebel Wilson steal the show again? Will there be another damn song that somehow is still popular a year after the movie premieres? Verdict: Please no more Cups! Mad Max: Fury Road We’ve already covered this one before but guns! Explosions! Tom Hardy! George Miller returning to his roots after some questionable directorial affairs like Babe and Happy Feet! Verdict: It’s Tom Hardy! Of course it’ll be badass.

According to Comingsoon.net , the Fairuza Balk & Neve Campbell scorcher The Craft is next on the reboot chopping block. Add in a remake of She’s All That , I Know What You Did Last Summer , and a TV revival of the series Scream , there seems to be little else to remake from just fifteen years ago. And yet, still no word on a remake for Urban Legend . I wonder about the world sometimes.

In his interview with Indiewire , 28 Days Later writer Alex Garland may have come up with another sequel following the not-quite-zombie exodus from England to the rest of Europe. “In that conversation, an idea for ‘28 Months’ arrived. I had a sort of weird idea that popped into my head. Partly because of a trip I’d taken. I had this thought, and I suggested it to Andrew [Macdonald] and Danny, but I also said I don’t want to work on it. I don’t really want to play a role, and Andrew said, ‘Leave it to me.’ So he’s gone off and is working on it.” Considering the first film was a powerhouse of man versus nature-ish as well as emphasizing the brutality of human nature, the sequel, 28 Weeks Later which Garland was not directly involved in was a laugh-fest of poor decisions and questionable plot points. Here’s to hoping the next one gets it right in the quasi-zombie and/or infected saga.