Movie Scum

Warner Brothers is clearly disappointed in revenue relating to Batman properties, especially considering Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy only made about $1.2 billion at the box office. So naturally, in addition to shoehorning Batman into the next Superman movie, the original Batman and Robin, Adam West and Burt Ward are returning to their characters , albeit in animated form. The animated flick is set to open sometime in 2016 to commemorate the original series' 50th anniversary. No word yet on whether onomatopoeias such as 'BLAM' and 'SMACK' will be along for the ride.

As I read a feature over at The Dissolve about making Blu-rays relevant again , I realize that I am not the type of film-viewer that would ever, willingly, make them irrelevant to begin with. From my early years in the late 80s and early 90s, I loved the act of collecting films on physical media, whether it be a less-than-perfect dub from a video store rental, a recording from HBO, or a hard-to-find 'SP' version of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 . Eventually, these VHS tapes gave way to laserdiscs (which were prohibitively expensive mostly), DVDs, and then now Blu-rays. The actual rationale (if there is one) behind my desire to own physical media has not diminished, even if the majority of the world disagrees. Blu-rays and DVDs represent something tangible to me. If you were to look at my collection, you might be impressed at the variety of titles or abhorred at the titles themselves. I mean, who really buys Maniac Cop 2 on Blu-ray? But at the very least, these discs rep...

Hollywood 's 'It-Woman' who has played everything from royalty to an assassin wants a part in the Fast & Furious series. Helen Mirren told Yahoo : My great ambition is to be in a Fast and Furious movie. I so want to be a mad driver in a Fast and Furious movie. My claim to fame is I always do my own driving — I was on Top Gear, and I did [my lap] in a very good time. I keep putting it out there, and they never ask me. If this series is to continue, this needs to happen. If only so Mirren can proclaim her Vin Diesel love in person.

AMC's much touted first look at The Walking Dead spinoff, Fear the Walking Dead was quietly tucked away into an early commercial break of last night's season finale of the parent show. Presumably the reason for this being that this 'teaser' stretches even the very definition of a teaser with just a few shots of sunny Los Angeles as a voice-over talks about a "strange virus going around." Given AMC's dearth of notable shows with Walking Dead now done for the season and Better Call Saul and Mad Men wrapping up, I expect we'll see a lot more. Fear the Walking Dead , which I will admit is a better title than 'Be Cautiously Aware of Those That Appear to be Walking Dead', will fill the gap between Walking Dead seasons premiering this summer, showing the beginning of the outbreak. At the very least, I will be looking forward to this if only because so many zombie tales skip the initial outbreak and are thrust straight into the apocolypse. I...

For a movie to combine the fears of old age, Alzheimer's disease, child abduction, and murder must have been a nightmare to pull off. The Taking of Deborah Logan manages all that and more in spades. In honesty, I was perusing Netflix last night, just aimlessly looking but especially focusing on horror movies that may or may not be crap. I almost watched Event Horizon again. But the image and synopsis for Deborah Logan drew me in. Now, after being able to watch it kid-free, I am quite glad I stumbled upon it. At first, I was dismayed at the "found footage" nature of the film. After all, since The Blair Witch Project came out almost two decades ago, almost every other horror movie has used that effect in one way or another. But surprisingly, it works well here. Sarah Logan, tasked with caring after her mother who is showing symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease, is approached by a group of students studying the disease to help and film the progress. Of course, not ...

After the wonderfully shot and masterfully directed Skyfall , the news that director Sam Mendes was returning upped my anticipation for the next installment. Now, MGM has released a teaser for James Bond's newest adventures in murdering and womanizing, Spectre (or maybe SPECTRE, can't figure out which yet), showing off Waltz's standard creepy vibe and a new mystery for 007 to be entangled in. Spectre (or SPECTRE!) is due for release in November 2016.

Director Jay Chandrasekhar penned a fascinating piece today on Trove about the need for crowdfunding for Super Troopers 2 and the film industry in general. After a thorough background of the production of the first, now almost universally loved, Super Troopers, Chandrasekhar explains the problems with making a follow up in a studio system reaching for the biggest dollars possible. Two years ago, my friend was the president of a major Hollywood studio. When I sat down with him to talk about what movies we might make together, he said, "We need $100 million comedies starring Johnny Depp, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, or Vince Vaughn. That's it. That's the list. That's what we want." Of course, analysts for years have pointed out the $100 million blockbusters being churned out have decreased studio's willingness to consider a more modest $20 million picture because it won't be close to make the bottom line look as good. "Unless we were willing to...

With the annual box office revenues and physical media sales dropping, some theaters are coming up with ways to entice audience members. Engadget relays the marketing of a theater in the UK where a patron purchasing a ticket for Kidnapping Freddy Heineken is given a voucher for a digital download of the film at a later date. Why is this not thing? The article states some 'SuperTickets' exist in the US but I can't say I've seen or heard of one. But it makes sense to bring viewers into a more expensive theater viewing with the lure of a free one once available. Now, this of course wouldn't work for all movies. Everyone in America has purchased a ticket to The Avengers by this point but many indie or low-budget films that would struggle otherwise not only get more revenue from the theatrical proceeds but more exposure. It sounds like a win-win as opposed to someone randomly catching the film on Netflix a few years later.

**Note: These are only John Hughes directed films. We'd be here all day with his written works. 8. She's Having a Baby Far too schmaltzy and at times painfully unfunny. 7. Curly Sue Cute but ultimately forgettable 6. Sixteen Candles Eh, it's acceptable. 5. Uncle Buck John Candy is great. Slobbish John Candy dealing with bratty Macaulay Culkin is even better. 4. Weird Science Quite a strange turn for his films but Anthony Michael Hall and Kelly Preston sell it well. 3. Breakfast Club The defining movie of a generation showcasing rebellion and individualism. 2. Ferris Bueller's Day Off Everyone's dream life encapsulated in a film. Also Alan Ruck. 1. Planes, Trains & Automobiles I may catch some shit on ranking this over Breakfast Club but the chemistry between Steve Martin and John Candy, their hilarious hijicks with Dylan Baker, and that infamous F-bomb scene send this to the top of the list. Now watch this and tell me I...

In the same vein as Marvel's Cinematic Universe and it's copycats including the now-defunct Spiderman Universe, DC Comics Universe, and Universal Monster Universe comes word that Paramount is trying to universe-itize its money-making godawful Transformers series. Michael Bay and friends have turned to Batman & Robin scribe Akiva Goldsman to develop the action-figure-turned-dregs-of-cinema to expand upon the four existing movies with other spin-offs and sequels. No word yet if one of those spin-offs will include those awful, racist, thug-talking robots from Transformers: Revenge of the Writer's Strike .

If you are a person of my age, you undoubtedly have seen The Sandlot , and likely plenty of times. This short clip only confirms how much of a cultural milestone this movie continues to be and if you disagee, "You're killing me, Smalls!"

Girl of the Rings There was some speculation about Rings , the upcoming film in ' The Ring ' series, that it would be a prequel to the original tale of a haunted VHS tape and a water-logged little girl. Presumably this speculation came about by those who care. However CinemaBlend relays director F. Javier Gutierrez's tweet that it is in fact a sequel. Meh. Still not interested. Better Smurfs, please? In case you never saw it (please, for the love of God, don't) the CGI-animated Smurfs was the cinematic equivalent to a giant turd in the toilet that not only doesn't flush but it in fact clogs the plumbing, overflowing the toilet, and ruining your entire life. /Film says a traditional animated version is coming to theaters 2017. It can't be as bad. It just can't. '50 Shades' Sequel Probably Doesn't Need a Director By all accounts, 50 Shades of Grey was a terrible movie with stilted performances, zero charisma, and an unhealthy lesson ...

Furious 7 : Opening April 3 Full disclaimer: I have not seen a single Fast and Furious movie since the first upon it's initial release. That hasn't stopped me from wanting, and failing, to see at least the last two. The Good : In spite of every other long running franchise, this series (again, based on general perception and reviews since I haven't endured them myself) seem to have only gotten better over time. I have caught bits and pieces of Fast 5 and Furries 6 or whatever nomenclature they went by and was impressed. One day, I'll get to the rest. Director James Wan comes onboard to the franchise after a few mainstream horror films you may have heard of such as Saw, Insidious, or The Conjuring. At the very least, his unique style of direction should lead to good things. Also of note, in the spirit of the series adding antagonists to later be recruited into whatever Vin Diesel and Paul Walker aim to do, both Kurt Russell and Jason Statham appear to be the ...

Two potentially good choices this week. Get Hard Will Ferrell is a white-collar embezzler sentenced to a ten-year prison stint. Kevin Hart is a seemingly rough-and-tumble prison-variety fellow Ferrell asks for advice to survive it. Considering both of these actors have a pretty good track record, in spite of the implied racism on Ferrell's part, I'd say it looks decent enough. It Follows Based on the pretty positive reviews I've read, It Follows sounds like another superb entry into the horror genre as a young girl is cursed with a dangerous follower after a one-night stand. As it hunts and stalks the heroine taking whatever form it wishes, it may only be banished by passing it along to another. This will definitely be one I check out at some point.

Well now we know. Maybe. Badass Digest now sheds some light into why The Caped Crusader and That Other Guy get into fisticuffs. Superman is apparently dispatched to Gotham in Batman v Superman by Lex Luthor to stop Batman and his Batman-ing ways of decriminalizing Gotham. Of course, this begs the question: why is Superman working for/with Lex Luthor? Are they after his gadgets? Is he in possession of the Tesseract? Are they jealous that this generation's Batman movies have been better? I guess we'll find out March 26, 2016.

Well, it appears the new Friday the 13th TV series featuring non-Jason has inspired Jason-Jason to kill again. Even though they are dirt-cheap to make and generally pull in a decent chunk at the box office, Platinum Dunes has been sitting on the Friday the 13th series since their reboot/prequel/something back in 2009. But now, Michael Bay and his frat boys have pulled the mask and machete out of the closet and tapped TV's Hannibal producer Nick Antosca to pen a new story about drug-smoking, pre-marital sex having teens getting offed in the woods. V/H/S director David Bruckner is attached to direct the supposedly found-footage based tale (ugh, this trend hasn't died yet?) which producer Brad Fuller has threatened will delve into the mystery of with Jason can never be killed. I'm sure that and the shaky cam garbage will go over well. Surprisingly though, the Platinum Dunes remake was a thoroughly decent if not remarkable entry into the series so I'll give t...

There's no shame here. We all love Super Troopers . While the first time I watched it, I didn't care for it, every subsequent viewing has brought more and more pleasure than a simple 'Cat Game.' In the almost decade-and-a-half since its release, Super Troopers 2 has been a idealistic dream to reunite the questionable cast into their very relatable characters. But now, Broken Lizard, the group behind Super Troopers and a bunch of other movies I haven't seen, have launched an Indiegogo to raise funding for the the best comedy this side of ... well, far beyond what Kevin Smith has to offer. Like any crowd-funded material, there are perks to be had from a set visit to an actual cruiser! So what are you waiting for? A maple syrup chugging competition? A liter-o-cola? The Spurbury Police to once again assert dominantion? Let's do this shit! UPDATE (3/26/15 8:51 AM): Well, that didn't take long. It appears the connoisseurs of good cinema and/or slack...

In this topsy-turvy world of regenerating and repurposing previous brands to milk any intrinsic worth left in them, FOX, among others, is looking towards its past. And in this case, that means MORE X-FILES ! All the principle parties are returning from creator Chris Carter and series stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson with an expected shooting schedule for the limited series beginning this summer. I never ended up seeing the latest film because the general consensus was crap. And given the show's last few seasons and its overwrought mythology, it remains a possibility that this will be crap as well. On the other hand, after a 4 year hiatus, 24 returned last summer to much acclaim and in top-notch form. So, count me optimistic. In fact, maybe I'll go root around my parents' house and try to dig out my old X-Files T-shits for celebration. So, while we continue to complain and bemoan the dearth of new content from both TV networks and movie studios, let us...

While the surviving members of Earth after 1996's Independence Day won't be getting jiggy with it, they will be rejoined by the likes of Bill Pullman's President Camacho Whitmore as well as the presumably now iPad-toting Jeff Goldblum and one of the other 'not-Thor' Helmsworth brothers. Now word comes from director Roland Emmerich that Vivica A. Fox has come on board as the stripper with the heart of gold and god-ugly dolphin ring. But wait? If Will Smith will not be appearing, how does she fit in? Perhaps Smith's Captain Hiller has perished in a subsequent counterattack for the alien remnants. Or maybe he found Jasmine the stripper in a tryst with Jeff Goldblum and commited suppuko. But I'm sure there's some other more logical and boring explanation for it. Independence Day 2: YOU MOTHERF-ERS ASKED FOR IT! is scheduled for release June 2016.

Maybe I knew of this at one point. Perhaps I didn't. But the veritable Friday the 13th series is getting a real TV series. Well, kind of? According to Cinema Blend , series producer Sean Cunningham indicates that the show will take a "meta" approach (all the cool kids are doing it nowadays) and be set in a town, not terrorized by the cinematic version of Jason Voorhees (or that fake one from Part 5 either apparently), that 'inspired' the series but with their own mishaps and mysteries surrounding their own murderous local-types which inspired F13. Which ... what? So the series takes place in a fictional town with a fictional killer that inspired a fictional killer in a fictional town in their fictitious universe. Everyone got that? Apparently The CW has shown interest in the series because all the cool kids go to hang out there now too. So, perhaps, not-Jason Jason will be terrorizing not-Crystal Lake on your TV screens in the near future.

Considering severe dearth of William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet film adapations, not counting the about two dozen at least I count on IMDb, Sony is in talks to produce Verona to tell of the story of star-crossed lovers from feuding families for the new-new generation. But, Verona has one thing that the rest of the 37 adaptations do not: Zack Synder! Or more specifically, the film is set to reimagine the tell in a 300 -esque "gritty and fantastical" style. Because of course, all love stories that end with the deaths of just about everyone deserve gritty and fantastical.

Yes, zombeavers are a thing. I'm shocked it took so long for this concept to come about with the resurgence in zombie related media. But now that it's here, Zombeavers looks awesome.

Finally! A television adaptation I can get behind!

How much money did Peter Dinklage demand to be in this movie? Along with Sandler's painfully unfunny, flatulent cohort Kevin James, someone with deep pockets have also procured Sean Bean, Michelle Monaghan, Brian Cox, and Jane Krakowski to star in some assuredly crap movie that just dropped a new trailer today. In fairness, I have not watched the trailer. That, to me, would be akin to returning to an abusive relationship and hoping that things will be better this time if only he would stop all the drinking and watching King of Queens. But I've been burned enough by Adam Sandler. I would've assumed we all have by now but Grown Ups 2's  $133 million gross clearly proves me wrong. Although, I'm guessing he doesn't dress up in drag again which is a moderate step up from the bowels of complete shittiness. Oh, and did I mention that Josh Gad is in this? The trailer is linked below (not embedded, for your sake) if you are so inclined to hurriedly increase yo...

Clear your calenders because The Hoff and a bunch of other nobodies are battling The Sharknado© as it invades your homes, and Washington D.C. I guess, on July 22.

Much to my chagrin, I tabulated Kevin Smith's major film ratings via Rotten Tomatoes and was quite surprised. On the site where the cut-off between "fresh" and "rotten" is 60%, Smith's films average 57.82%. Initially I chalked it up to the super high ratings for Chasing Amy and Clerks at 88% each but even just looking at his past fifteen year output gives us 48% Who are these people watching and reviewing and giving high scores to these Kevin Smith movies? At best, the collective internet reaction to a new Kevin Smith movie, such as today's confirmation that Smith is making a Mallrats 2 for ... I'm sure valiant reasons, is a collective 'meh.' Even the long-gestating Clerks III has the internet upswell of an Antiques Roadshow revival. Considering that 2010's Silent Bob is likely far more successful and not making Cop Out 2 , many would prefer he stuck to his weekly "reality" show and the 38 weekly podcasts. And even i...

While most films deal with real, physical threats from other people or nature, some are brave, or perhaps nonsensical enough, to focus on objects that only exist to be an extension of the human experience.

With the tidal wave of reboot/remake news washing over us daily, it's possible that we (I) completely miss or purposefully disregard that which does not please me. The news that there is a Naked Gun reboot being threatened does not surprise me. Nor does it fill me with joy.

Anyone between the ages of 18 months and 113 years has heard of Disney's smash animated hit Frozen. Also, each of those folks have heard 'Let it Go' about 228 times per aggregate. Naturally, the House of Mouse has dictated that is not enough Ana, Elsa, and goddamn Josh Gad in our lives so Frozen 2 is a go . Of course, this comes as a shock to no one. Least of all the merchandisers and retailers who are filling the coffers of their retirement accounts with Olaf snow shovels and Elsa electric blankets.

While the first Sharknado "film" flourished simply from a completely idiotic premise and D-list cast members, the upcoming SyFy original movie Sharknado 3 seems to be upping the ante. In addition to some guy from 90210 and Tara Reid, whose best role was either in American Pie or Urban Legend , the film's "producers" felt it necessary to add weight to the ensemble with the likes of Mark Cuban and Ann Coulter. But now, they can all pack up and go home since The Hoff, aka David Hasselhof, has come aboard to presumably show these amateurs how to showbiz in the most self-deprecating way possible. I only hope they can squeeze in a slow-mo beach shot and/or a David Hasselhof theme song. Time will tell when Sharknado 3 invades Washington D.C. and your poor DVR in July. Entertainment Weekly: David Hasselhoff joins Sharknado 3

First, it just seemed that Dan Akyroyd was plain out of his mind. Then, Sony announced an all-female led Ghostbusters sequel/whatever. And now? Chaos .