Jesus, where do these movies come from? Apparently from a producer of The Devil’s Rejects. Thanks, movie poster!
Razortooth, I assume is the eel’s name. No one ever called it that, but it has sharp teeth, so I jumped to that conclusion. We find ourselves in the Everglades, or a reasonable facsimile. There is Delmar, who is with Animal Control, and can make the ladies wet better than a 15 foot long giant eel can (as you might imagine, what with the name Delmar), and his ex wife Ruth, who is the Sheriff. Delmar is doing Animal Control type things while Ruth is looking for 2 escaped convicts. There are also some young scouts (as in boy and girl scouts, but some generic movie scouts) who are paddling around in canoes. Finally we have some college kids who are meeting Dr. Abramson to help him with his eel project. As you have probably deduced without even having to watch the movie, we find out that Dr. Abramson is responsible for the eel. It is a product of genetic engineering and was purposely given a defect in which it can’t metabolize sugar, so it wouldn’t eat the orange groves. Never mind making sure it doesn’t grow to an alarmingly huge size and kill people; let’s give it diabetes. You should also know that the eel can “breathe through its snout,” and therefore can go on land. No portable toilet is safe.
The eel actually did me a great service; it picked off a bunch of terrible actors, one at a time. As you might imagine, the acting in this movie is on the same level as any made for TV Saved By the Bell film. Equally as bad are the special effects. I highly recommend watching this in HD, so that you can see just how bad they are. For some reason the eel only enjoys eating the bottom half of people and quite frequently we see random intestines sort of floating on the screen below someone’s rib cage. The suspense was rather poor as well. Pretty much anytime there was a large part of the screen that was unoccupied, you could bet your crack money that eel would show up. With all of this worthlessness going on, I was looking forward to pointless angry swearing. But, alas, none. I think the harshest word uttered in the film was “bitch.” Are you fucking kidding me? Not one swear word? These people can’t even make a bad movie right.
Was it as bad as Flesh Freaks? No. But it was bad. I would steer away from this one.
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