Movie Scum

Two completely different movies just bide our time until The Avengers comes out. The Age of Adeline In my travels, I’ve never really been impressed by Blake Lively’s performances. This doesn’t look too much better as Adeline is in a freak car accident that renders her forever young (that was a movie!). She runs away from relationships because they all die and she doesn’t until she meets her one true love and ... well, we can surmise the rest. This feels like a romance book inspired by Benjamin Button with a smidge of every other rom-com thrown in. Verdict: Let it die. Little Boy The titular “little boy” is enamored with his father and all the wonderful bonding they have together. But, oh no! War strikes and daddy is called away, leaving “little boy” to be mopey until he figures out he can move mountains or something. Kevin James is also in this sporting a creeper mustache. Verdict: Schmaltzy, touching, and worthless **NOTE: Either of these would be better choices

The Tanners are returning to your television after a twenty year hiatus. Or should I say ... the Fullers are returning? Because you see, the apparently real show is apparently really titled Fuller House! Because DJ’s last name happens to be Fuller! Oh boy, this sounds ridiculous already! John Stamos dropped the news on Jimmy Kimmel last night that the rumored Full House reunion was on with a 13 episode order from Netflix. This time around, DJ (Kirk Cameron’s less insane sibling Candace Cameron Bure ) is newly widowed, pregnant, and with two rambunctious boys who enlists the help of her younger sister Stephanie ( Jodie Sweetin ) and enternally annoying best friend Kimmy Gibler ( Andrea Barber ) to help out. Series creator Jeff Franklin is back on board with Stamos to produce and likely guest star with negotiations with the rest of the series originals said to be ongoing. No doubt this will delight folks of my general age who religiously watched this show before the Olsen twin

Well, on TV possibly. Deadline is reporting that Paramount Television (apparently undeterred by the failure to transfer Axel Foley to the small screen) is developing a TV series based on everyone’s second favorite Star Trek movie, Galaxy Quest . No other details are readily available but I’m fairly confident in thinking Sir Alan Rickman will not be stooping to broadcast TV to reprise his role of Dr. Lazarus. Best case scenario for this would be a limited production run (on Netflix, because Daredevil is awesome and GO WATCH IT!) that would allow the hilarious space hijinks to continue without a huge time commitment from all of the actors who made the movie what it was. By Grabthar’s Hammer ... let’s do this shit!

This movie demonstrates that family get-togethers can in fact get worse. You’re Next is reminiscent of a lot of other recent films like The Purge or The Strangers with a group of people (a rather large one this time around) trapped in their home, being picked off by villainous folks outside. For their 35th wedding anniversary, Paul and Aubrey invite their four adult kids and their respective significant others to their country house to celebrate. They should have known that was the beginning of their downfall. The film does an excellent job of establishing the characters in the scant minutes available before the carnage begins with some friendly banter between brothers, a nice exchange with the patriarch, and the interrogation of the siblings’ significant others. But all hell breaks loose when cross-bow arrows come flying into the family dinning room as they continue arguing over .... whatever siblings are wont to argue about. This quickly turns the mood from frustratingly hila

What do The Purge , Insidious , Paranormal Activity , and Sinister have in common? Jason Blum , previously just a junior producer on lesser Hollywood features, has become the major player in horror cinema since his participation in launching the first Paranormal Activity that kicked the horror genre out of pointless remakes and big-star titles and into original, low-budget productions that actually ... were scary. Just one look at the filmography of Blum’s production company Blumhouse turns up a couple of duds that did nothing for me. But more than not, the films under Blumhouse’s shingle are more of the cerebral, under-your-skin type horror than fake jump scares. Of course, there have been many independent horror films over the years to accomplish the same feat but these productions aren’t limited to VOD or straight-to-DVD status. These are opening in 2000+ theaters each and every time. The Gallows looks to try and continue that trend. Even looking at the teaser above, it d

Maybe my general dislike of this premise is that I never saw, nor felt any compelling reason, to see Man of Steel . But now, Batman v Superman: Blah Blah Blah seems to be using that as a launching point for the next generation of DC comic movies. And, uh ... well. I’m not convinced. The world seems to be against Supes for whatever transpired in his last outing and Batman is just along for the ride? Does he have an actual beef with the Man o’ Steel? Or is this just some hokey plot meant to mesh together two superheroes? Unfortunately, the trailer is more or less vague other than implying that Batfleck has evil eyes for Superman. And I’m not sure how I feel about the Batfleck voice either. It sounds too ... robotic? Anyways, call me nonplussed for now. But I’m sure we’ll be subjected to about 13 more trailers before this comes out next year.

Everyone can agree that Ice Cube and F. Gary Gray’s Friday   is a great movie. Most everyone else can agree that its sequels were not as great for one reason: a dearth of Chris Tucker. After Friday came out in 1995, Tucker enjoyed a career-high shortly thereafter with roles in the Rush Hour series, The Fifth Element , and some Charlie Sheen movie. But the elusive Tucker was happy enough bantering with Jackie Chan while likely bathing himself in his millions to consider returning to the Friday series where he big break came from. Ice Cube (not be confused with NYPD’s finest Ice-T), while promoting a special screening of Friday on April 20 (420, natch), tells The Wrap though that may be changing: “I think all the parties involved, all the people that’s been in the franchise, people from the first one to the third one, want to do another one.” Considering Tucker’s only substantial role in Hollywood aside from the Rush Hours was an excellent supporting part in Silver Linings P

Among the chief concerns by many when it was announced that Spider-Man was officially joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe was worry that we'd be subjected to yet another G-D origin story. But Marvel head honcho Kevin Feige says nope! Crave Online reported the quote from Feige who seems to be just as weary of Spider-Man Begins as the rest of us. "There is a young kid [already] running around New York City in a homemade version of the Spider-Man costume in the MCU, you just don't know it yet," So fear not, fellow interwebbers. We will not be subjected to yet another tale of a young nerd named Peter Parker who gets bitten by a mutated spider and yada yada yada. So, at the very least this seems to mean that Marvel won't be as tone-deaf as Sony when it comes to what needs to go in a Spider-Man film.

Considering the first film came out over twenty years ago, you would think that Dumb and Dumber To would have something new-ish to bring to the table. You would be wrong. For our main protagonists, Lloyd ( Jim Carrey ) and Harry ( Jeff Daniels ), nothing much has changed in twenty years. They are still the same immature, adolescent goofballs that they have always been. Even though Lloyd spends two decades in assisted living faking a comatose state, once the two are reunited, it is like nothing has changed. With the same dingy apartment, the same blind, bird-obsessed neighborhood boy, and the complete lack of any and all cognitive thinking, Lloyd and Harry are basically in the same place that they were at the beginning of the first film. Perhaps not shockingly then, Dumber To follows mostly the same beats to get the boys out on the road to find someone wherein all sorts of hijinks will occur. In this case, it is Harry who is driven to go cross-country from Maryland to Texas to

Given that at present 27 seasons of The Simpsons have been produced, yet several are not available beyond FXX's constant reruns, countless fans will be disappointed to hear no more DVD sets are coming their way. I've already made the argument why I believe DVDs and other physical forms of media are important but this news courtesy of show producer Al Jean on Twitter introduces a new wrinkle. For dedicated Simpsons fans, in spite of the lackluster quality of many, many of the latter seasons, collecting the newly released (although generally seven to eight seasons behind) DVD box sets just added to the collection. But now? If you have feverishly bought every single set available now, you will have a gap from seasons 17-19 (with the 20th season getting its own out of order bare-bones release) and the rest of the series until it ceases, probably somewhere in the 43rd season. Or when the zombie apocalypse finally happens. Given that all of the box sets previously have con

The original Sinister was a kick in the gut as far as horror films go. Having grown up with a steady diet of Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, and whatever other random shlock was out at the time, I typically don't respond well to horror films for their intended purpose: to scare. But I'll be damned if Sinister didn't get me time and time again but not with cheap jump scares and cats in pantries, but with truly disturbing imagery and an unsettling tone throughout. Much like James Wan 's recent non- Saw output, such as The Conjuring or Insidious , I do respond to those low-key but emotionally terrifying scenes that present a real danger to the characters, rather than one composed by lazy screenwriting to justify a horror label. And much like The Conjuring, Sinister was not big on jump-scares or fakeouts but real scenarios playing out to real-ish characters that carried emotional weight. But since Sinister focused on Ethan Hawke and his family, I wonder what directi

More Machete! Even though both movies released thus far have only grossed about $30 million, it seems that someone is bankrolling Robert Rodriguez's next entry into Danny Trejo's Machete series. Only this time, it's in space! And it might be titled Machete Kills In Space ! And you know, I can't think of any other floundering series that has turned to space and hasn't come back into relevance. Next: Slinky: The Movie Hasbro, not content with ruining childhood through bad Transformers movies, is reportedly looking to make a movie from everyone's childhood diet-staple, Play-Doh. Deadline reports Paul Feig is in talks to direct the film but the rest of the details are sparse. Granted, this sounds like a bad idea but then again The Lego Movie did as well. Maybe it'll turn out not horrible? Nawwwwww. The Gift of Creepy Joel Edgerton The trailer was just released for co-star/director Joel Edgerton's upcoming The Gift . I like Jason Bateman and I l

If there was ever a movie at odds with itself, The Kingdom is it. Released in 2007, Peter Berg ’s film about an attack on Americans living in Saudi Arabia likes to attempt straddling the line between political thriller and mindless action film. The story written by Matthew Michael Carnahan seems to try delving deeper into the social and political ramifications of Americans killed abroad and the subsequent FBI investigative team sent but is constantly undercut by half-handed dialogue and shoot-’em-up scenes to keep it from becoming “boring.” Most jarring is the third act of the film which changes from a milquetoast Tom Clancy novel into a milquetoast Tom Clancy novel-based film in which the main team, led by the quite charismatic Jamie Foxx , is pulled into a rugged Saudi neighborhood with machine guns and RPGs apparently just laying around. After an hour and a half of diplomacy and some sense of restraint, the film pivots into a full out action, go ‘Murica type of film. Othe

In spite of the fact that international espionage is certainly not any 12-year-old's ideal movie plot, 1994's Clear and Present Danger was and remains one of my favorite action movies and the watermark for Tom Clancy's unsteady Jack Ryan series. But okay, while the political in-fighting, old-school computer hacking (aka guessing passwords), and Mexican drug cartel stuff is in fact interesting, one nearly 10 minute sequence clenched my love for this movie. Unfortunately, only a snippet of it appears on Youtube but the scene where Jack Ryan and his CIA cohorts are besieged in the streets on Bogota, is pure excellence in staging and direction on director Philip Noyce's part. So, it's Friday! Enjoy! Watch some Suburbans get blown up (which between this and Speed made the Suburban my dream car)!

Although there's been a smattering a tours and reunions, most folks have been missing Bob Odenkirk and David Cross since 1998. Well, okay, that's not exactly true between Arrested Development for Cross, and Breaking Bad & Better Call Saul for Odenkirk, but Deadline has news that Bob and David are coming back to their proper home: sketch comedy. Netflix has picked up the show with the two acting as executive producers for four half-hour episodes and a 'making-of documentary.' I don't know what any of those words mean because Bob & David are coming back and I'm insane! Yay Netflix! Boo Communism! Words! No word yet on a return for Pit-Pat, the Pansexual Spokes-thing though.

One of these things is not like the other. Furious 7 We've already discussed this last week but all the early reviews indicate this entry is fasterer and furiouserer than the preceding films, which were already quite fast and furious. It'll make a billion dollars and you'll probably see it just for Jason Statham's apparently awesome villain. Woman in Gold What appears to be a touching, if ultimately kind of boring movie, starring future Fast & Furious villain Helen Mirren in a valiant effort to get a priceless family heirloom back. And she's aided by brilliant attorney ... Ryan Reynolds? Well, okay then movie. I'd wait for Netflix on this one.

Considering the 84-year-old director has helmed nine films in the past decade, that may not be much of a stretch. But Clint Eastwood isn't going for the gold in a 400 meter dash. Yahoo reports Eastwood is heavily considering a film based on the Centennial Olympic Park bombing that took place in 1996's Olympic Games in Atlanta. So far, Jonah Hill has been cast as Richard Jewell, the security guard who discovered the bomb and later became the top suspect, with Leonardo diCaprio in talks to play his defense attorney. Even if you don't particular like Eastwood as a director (I was ambivalent toward J. Edgar and completely uninterested in Jersey Boys ), you have to admire his stamina. Clint Eastwood is the Hugh Hefner of Hollywood.

Warner Brothers is clearly disappointed in revenue relating to Batman properties, especially considering Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy only made about $1.2 billion at the box office. So naturally, in addition to shoehorning Batman into the next Superman movie, the original Batman and Robin, Adam West and Burt Ward are returning to their characters , albeit in animated form. The animated flick is set to open sometime in 2016 to commemorate the original series' 50th anniversary. No word yet on whether onomatopoeias such as 'BLAM' and 'SMACK' will be along for the ride.

As I read a feature over at The Dissolve about making Blu-rays relevant again , I realize that I am not the type of film-viewer that would ever, willingly, make them irrelevant to begin with. From my early years in the late 80s and early 90s, I loved the act of collecting films on physical media, whether it be a less-than-perfect dub from a video store rental, a recording from HBO, or a hard-to-find 'SP' version of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 . Eventually, these VHS tapes gave way to laserdiscs (which were prohibitively expensive mostly), DVDs, and then now Blu-rays. The actual rationale (if there is one) behind my desire to own physical media has not diminished, even if the majority of the world disagrees. Blu-rays and DVDs represent something tangible to me. If you were to look at my collection, you might be impressed at the variety of titles or abhorred at the titles themselves. I mean, who really buys Maniac Cop 2 on Blu-ray? But at the very least, these discs rep

Hollywood 's 'It-Woman' who has played everything from royalty to an assassin wants a part in the Fast & Furious series. Helen Mirren told Yahoo : My great ambition is to be in a Fast and Furious movie. I so want to be a mad driver in a Fast and Furious movie. My claim to fame is I always do my own driving — I was on Top Gear, and I did [my lap] in a very good time. I keep putting it out there, and they never ask me. If this series is to continue, this needs to happen. If only so Mirren can proclaim her Vin Diesel love in person.