Random Movie: Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

PBF again was quick to point out that Battle: Los Angeles was getting quite horrendous reviews. After Drive Angry, I see a trend emerging. The funniest review I have read thus far was written by Roger Ebert who basically advocated breaking all ties with someone taking you to this movie. It strives to be what Digger referred to as a “big, dumb action movie.” There is no characterization, no good performances, and nothing monumental or important is attempted. Even though it is offensively derivative, Battle: LA is a quintessential big, dumb action movie. Naturally then, I was entertained.

Let’s get this out of the way: do you remember Independence Day? How about Starship Troopers? Aliens? War of the Worlds? Any other battling against aliens movie? Then you know exactly what is going to happen. And by exactly, I mean you can see it coming like a bright red Mini in a vampire movie. Aaron Eckhart is Staff Sergeant Nantz, a grizzled Marine who has done his twenty years and has signed his papers for discharge. But then a cluster of “meteors” start falling into the oceans around major cities. And these are not “meteors” but interstellar vessels of a hostile race of alien beings. And the Marines get called in. And … you know what? I’m done here. In fairness, writer Christopher Bertolini probably said the same thing at this point too.

I may have said this before but for now, Battle: LA is without a doubt the most creatively bankrupt movie ever. Now, I give it props for not being a direct sequel or prequel to an established series, but it feels like every other type of movie in this genre to the point that it almost might as well have been a follow up. The characters are bland and have no identifiable traits other than the ominous warning signs of imminent death like a pregnant wife or idealistic son. They also might as well not even had names since other than Nantz, I wouldn’t be able to recall any of them even with their introductory title cards.

Eckhart is just all right here (I’ve certainly seen better from him) while everyone else is as generic as the characters they play. At the beginning there are far too many Marines to keep up with or care about since we can’t even tell them apart. This improves after the cast begins to thin out but not so much to the point that any characterization is really attempted other than cliched, heroic acts which save a life only to paint a big bullseye on themselves. There is, of course, some clunky dialogue and hammy, emotional scenes that threaten to shut down any momentum the movie has.

Fortunately, director Jonathan Liebesman and his DP are too busy trying to emulate Transformers that they don’t pay much attention to the “heavy” scenes. Almost as soon as the movie starts, you are in the thick of the attack and the movie stays in the Black Hawk Down meets Aliens mode solely with the main group. Granted, pretty much everything that happens in the course of the Marines trying to evacuate civilians and get out of the danger zone is laughably plucked from one movie or another. So, there is no one in the movie to begin to root for and there is no suspense as you see one plot point coming around the corner after another. But even with the alien-invasion/war-movie checklist being followed to a T, I kind of liked it. It’s big, loud, violent and it kept me entertained for its runtime. I can’t be too picky, can I?

The effects are pretty good even if the creatures and their ships seem cobbled together while the production design and set dressing betray the (comparatively) restrained budget. But ten years from now, Battle: LA will not have the notoriety of Independence Day because there just is nothing really worth reminiscing about. Even if you do remember it, you’ll likely mistake it for any of the movies it shamelessly cribbed from.