Fuck you, Feast III: The Happy Finish. Oh, and that is flagrant false advertising. There is nothing happy about the ending. There is nothing happy about the rest of it either, so I guess it’s consistent.
During the course of this series of films, I have been subjected to a cat rape, a baby being tossed in to the air and in to the claws of demons and a man getting raped by a demon through a pipe, only to be impregnated, then blow up as his demon child is born. And that’s not even the half of it. What started out as a fairly clever, modern tongue in cheek horror-comedy has ended as a demon shit stained pointless gore fest. In this third installment, I actually believe that each new character was introduced purely so that they would be killed 6 minutes later, in a needlessly gruesome, sure to only be entertaining to the filmmakers’ fashion. They even threw in some “infected,” which I bet everyone thought would be brilliant, when it actually served no purpose, with the possible exception as a cause of death for 2 characters (well, also to piss me off). The camera work was border line seizure inducing, as for some reason there was an infected rave with strobe lights. At the beginning of the film there was some green camera shots as if to imply that we were looking through the eyes of some one or some thing else, but we never were. Also, I got motion sickness a couple of times from the shaky camera.
Why do people insist on yelling at demons and the like? I mean, there is this gigantic, naked demon with teeth the size of flagpoles, and you yell, “Fuck you!” The hell is that going to accomplish? Also, if you have been running from these things for 3 films, and you still have to ask, “What was that?” when you hear a strange noise, your character just became less believable as a survivor. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?
The end of this movie makes me want bite my arm off so I can forget about seeing it. I really can’t believe the movie ended like that. Dumbest, shit, ever.
Avoid this at all costs.
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