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Skin That Smoke Wagon! Top 9 Movie Fire-Arms

In the real world, guns are dangerous, deadly devices that should always be handled with care and respect. In movies, however, guns are awesome! Even more awesome are the futuristic guns that only exist in frantic, action-packed movie fire fights. Here are my top 9 favorite fictional fire-arms.

9. Blamethrower (Mystery Men)
The only non-lethal gun on the list, this bazooka-esque heavy weapon, designed and built by Doc Heller, fires an invisible beam that causes groups of enemies to become very angry with one another, rendering them combat-ineffective.

8. M41a Pulse Rifle (Aliens)
Arguably the most versatile weapon in the space marine arsenal, this gun combines the automatic fire of the M1A1 Thompson with an under-slung pump-action SPAS12 shotgun, loaded in the film with small grenades.

7. Samaritan (Hellboy)
A big demon that hunts other big demons needs an edge, and Hellboy's massive revolver fits the bill. Not only is the gun itself made from mystical materials (wood from the true cross, blessed silver, etc.) but chambers four huge rounds with specific designs to harm supernatural monster types.

6. Proton Pack (Ghostbusters)
Sure, bustin' makes you feel good, but the long term health effects of carrying around an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on your back have yet to be documented. What ever you do with it, don't cross the streams.

5. Noisy Cricket (Men In Black)
A deceptively tiny side-arm with a lot of gusto. Presumably reverse-engineered from alien technology, this weapon fires a focused sonic wave that blasts through any targets and knocks its user on his ass. Do not discharge in view of the public.

4. Railgun with X-Ray Scope (Eraser)
As if a rifle that uses electromagnetic coils to propel a projectile at mach seven isn't deadly enough, this version includes a targeting system capable of scanning through walls to kill people more effectively.

3. Cobra Assault Cannon (RoboCop)
Built on the same frame as the real life Barret M82A1 .50 BMG, OCP's state-of-the-art anti-vehicle weapon fires high-explosive rounds able to obliterate the otherwise bad-ass ED-209 in a single shot.

2. Zorg model ZF-1 (The Fifth Element)
Three thousand round magazine, adjustable handle, undetectable by X-Ray, includes rocket launcher, net launcher, arrow launcher, with exploding or poisonous arrow-heads, flamethrower, ice-cube cryo-blast system, need I go on?

1. Smart Gun (Runaway)
The only thing more frightening than Gene Simmons without his KISS make-up is a pistol that fires tiny, explosive rockets capable or tracking a target down where ever he or she tries to run or hide. It's the ultimate one shot kill.

Comments

  1. If I had my druthers, I'd pick the blamethrower to cause everyone to become hysterical and nonsensical. Oh, wait! I work in an office! That happens naturally.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leave it to you to make a Tombstone reference at every opportunity, not that I can blame you.

    ReplyDelete

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