Movie Scum

No one can deny that the trucker turned film-maker James Cameron has been one of Hollywood's biggest movers and shakers of the last several decades. Movies like Aliens , The Abyss , and Terminator 2 have not only cemented Cameron's name in the halls of movie history, but were also big parts of my childhood, shaping my expectations of how amazing a science fiction film could be. After a twelve year hiatus and some deep sea documentaries, Cameron returns to the director's chair for his new sci-fi opus, Avatar . The story is fairly simple. A paraplegic space marine named Jake Sully ( Sam Worthington ) is dispatched to the alien world of Pandora, where a corporate mining operation is trying to gather a rare and expensive mineral ore. The planet is filled with giant, aggressive creatures, chief among these being an intelligent tribal culture called the Na'vi. To avoid violence, the company's scientists, headed by Doctor Grace Augustine ( Sigourney Weaver ) have engi

This movie is a piece of shit. I am actually angry at it. I am angry that it looked at me in the face, and had the balls to fucking show me the things it showed me. You want to know where I rank this movie in it's genre? In the same bracket as Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter . Not the animated Street Fighter; the live action one. The one where Guile, an American, is played by a Belgian who can barely speak English. Here's the skinny on the plot of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra : There are warheads that have nanomites in them. Nanomites eat metal (and everything else, but emphasis was placed on the eating of metal). They also can do other things, such as reconstruct faces and push the venom of a cobra right back out of a person's arm. They can also be used in mind control. Anyway, Duke and Ripcord have them, Baroness tries to steal them, G.I. Joe saves Duke and Ripcord and the warheads, Baroness and Storm Shadow, et al successfully steal them. There you go. Cobra has n

In an effort to distract my daughter from wanting to watch Curious George (and I must admit, I wanted to see it as well) I put the movie Up on. She has seen it many times, but I had never. I am normally not a fan of Disney movies, or animated movies in general (despite my affections for TV shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force , Ren and Stimpy , Invader Zim and others), but having watched Wall-E with my daughter, I have since changed that. I have assumed it is because both these films are Pixar, and from what I understand, they have an excellent track record. Up is the story of Carl Fredericksen, a 78 year old (voiced by Ed Asner ), as he tries to make it to Paradise Falls, an adventure planned with his wife before she died, and ultimately having it's roots in his childhood. They were obsessed with exploring new places and with an explorer named Charles Muntz (voiced by Christopher Plummer ). To accomplish this, he flies his house, which is where he met his late wife in childhood,

The word “versus” is usually reserved for boxing matches, Supreme Court cases, and film titles that begin with the name Godzilla or Gamera . I imagine that this film was intended to entertain the same head space as other giant monster classics, but Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus falls short of even that minimalistic criteria. This flick comes to us curtsey of The Asylum , a direct-to-DVD company with a rather dubious track record. Mostly, they make cheaply and horribly produced movies with titles suspiciously similar to big-budget blockbusters. Such movies include Transmorphers , Death Racers , Sunday School Musical , and The Day the Earth Stopped , most likely hoping that confused consumers hunting for the latest releases will buy their movies by accident. I'm almost amazed by a company who's marketing strategy seems to have been devised by some giant, carnivorous plant. But I'm not talking about those flicks, I'm talking about a movie with a plot and production valu

Surprisingly, I had been missing out on John Carpenter's The Thing until a few years ago when a friend of mine turned me on to it. I thought it was a very effective movie and the DVD was great, featuring commentary by Carpenter and Kurt Russell as well as an in depth documentary on the making of the film. Sadly, my original DVD was not anamorphic so I had no desire to watch the film in recent years until I upgraded my disc to the re-release from a few years back. For some reason, I didn't remember much from the film so it was almost like watching it for the first time all over again. A loose remake of the 1951 film The Thing from Another World , Carpenter's version puts us in the middle of an Antartic research team who uncover a monstrous alien who has already devastated another research camp. As the being infiltrates the tight group of men, it takes their appearance and mannerisms leading them to doubt as to who is human and who is not. It is a very simplistic story, on

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Las Vegas. Muse for many a film maker. From the not so good , to The Hangover . I assumed that this film would be some kind of hybrid of Dude, Where's My Car? and Very Bad Things . It surely, is not. Because it was actually funny. Basically we have 4 guys going to Vegas for a blowout before Doug ( Justin Bartha ) gets married. Doug's character is pretty much irrelevant to this review, as they lose him, and spent the mojority of the movie trying to find him while piecing together the events of the previous night, which they all cannot remember. You have Stu ( Ed Helms ), who basically freaks out at everything, as he is very tightly wound around his girlfriend's ( Rachel Harris ) vagina and does not wish to upset her. Also, there is Phil ( Bradley Cooper , dreamboat), who apparently is a dirtbag to all the women in the film, but is oddly the most level headed and calm in most of the chaos that is going on. Finally there is, Alan ( Zach Galifinakis , Fat Jesus, not Phat Jes

Hollywood is a funny animal. Film studios are willing to drop millions of dollars on movies with horrible movies starring big actors, big gambles that may or may not pay off, and run of the mill sequels that have little redeeming cinematic value but are a sure win at the box office. Yet a movie like Paranormal Activity comes along and flounders for years on the festival circuit (hence the 2007 production year) before finally being picked up and begrudgingly released to theaters throughout the country. If you follow movies at all, you know the gist of the story. Our couple, Micah and Katie, have been noticing some strange activity in their home. Tech geek Micah decides to get a camera to not only annoy the hell out of Katie in the bathroom but to capture any evidence of the strange occurrences. As the entire film takes place inside the house, mostly with just Micah and Katie, we are confined with them as the incidents occur more frequently and more violently leading to many scene

For some reason, this was a hard movie to watch. Not hard to watch as in terribly graphic or poorly made, but I watched the film over six days, each time falling asleep no matter if it was in the middle of the afternoon or 3 in the morning. This is not however an overall indication of the quality of the film, more an example of how I really like sleeping I suppose. Released to theaters this past summer to critical praise, District 9 follows the existing and new denizens of Johannesburg, South Africa after an inoperable alien craft comes to rest over the city. Having no way to return home, over a million alien creatures, dubbed prawns by the locals, are rounded up in a fenced in series of shacks and tents. Twenty years later, crime has risen in the slum, the prawns are acting out against the humans, and the locals are demanding the alien residents be moved to another location. Enter Wikus Van De Merwe, middle management worker bee for MNU, a global weapons company that has been contr

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I will just come right out and say that Inglourious Basterds is a great film. You may want to watch it twice at least, to appreciate all of it. I had to do that with Jackie Brown as well, another Quentin Tarantino film. I found this movie MUCH more enjoyable than Death Proof , which made me want to eat a grenade during some of the slower parts. I get it Quentin, you love movies. And yes, it was an expert replica of the Grindhouse genre. So much so that I did not care for it. I will preface the synopsis of Basterds by telling you that this is not a complete factual account of events during World War II. The basic plot is simple: folks want to kill Hitler. There is a group called the Basterds. This is a group led by Lt. Aldo Raine ( Brad Pitt ). Raine has charged his men with the task of collecting 100 Nazi scalps a piece (there are 9 of them total, counting Raine). In this group is "The Bear Jew," ( Eli Roth ) who is particularly brutal. In addition to the Basterds, ther

Yes, just like that annoying significant other who always reminded you of the stupid milestones you always forgot, I am here to tell you that we have reached the tender age of one month old! We have passed the meconium stage and we almost can turn over, but otherwise we just lay around, look cute from time to time, and cry for attention. Perfect for a baby! Perfect for a blog!

Ah yes. The "accidental" wreaking of havoc is one of my favorite plot formulas. In WarGames , David ( Matthew Broderick ) accidentally almost starts WWIII. I say almost, because no missiles actually get launched. They come close to getting launched around, oh, 11 damn times, but never get out of the silos. Oh, was that a spoiler? Sorry. You see, young David tells his 1983 computer that takes up 1/3 of his bedroom to dial numbers at random to try and find a company that is putting out some pretty hot 1983 games. Checking the results, he suspects that he may have found the company, but he in fact found a backdoor to a government computer system. David's computer runs a simulation called Global Thermonuclear War, tricking the government computer in to thinking the Russians have initiated an attack on the U.S. Obviously hilarity ensues. Not because the movie is a comedy (it isn't), but because of the extremely nonsensical film that follows. There are major holes in the st

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I can't fathom how no one has yet to establish this in America. The US is one of the largest producers of films in the world as well as one of the largest populace of consumers of said movies. If the UK can do it , why the hell can't we? I'm talking about unlimited movie passes. No, Netflix (as awesome as they are) doesn't count. I want a theater chain to come up with a totally unlimited movie pass letting me see as many movies as I can and see fit within one calender year. While discussing the future of this blog with my collaborator PBF, one of the points of contention was the fact that neither of us can see as many theatrical movies as we would like. The unlimited movie pass would fix all of that. Now, I don't expect it to be cheap but I do expect it to be cost-prohibitive for the casual movie-goers while giving us cinemanerds a good deal. Maybe $150-$250 for a 12 month span would be a good starting point provided there are not ridiculous restrictions like s

In an effort to show that we at Movie Scum do not hate movies older than 30-ish, I sat down and watched Mr. Smith Goes to Washington for the very first time. In my life, I have heard random mentions of the film and even seen it reside within the top 250 of the IMDb, but never really given much thought into watching it. Knowing very little about it other than what the title gives away, I sat down in front of my computer to watch this little ditty. Watching this movie reminded me of my senior year government class. After taking this class and listening to lectures of the innerworkings of our government taught by a state delegate, I was politically invigorated. At the time, politics held such promise as a panacea for all that was wrong in the world. The year was 2000 and I voted in that year's Presidential election and every other lesser election since then. It was only recently, a scant nine years after, that I became bitter about the American political system and all the shenanig

For those of you who don't know, Brittany Murphy is dead . It has been determined that Cardiac Arrest is the cause and she was apparently found in the shower. This a newly developing story, so more info is to come. Brittany was in movies such as 8 Mile, Clueless , and Girl, Interrupted . She was 32 years old. The End of the World , written by Arthur Kent and Sylvia Dee, performed by Skeeter Davis (song playing when Daisy in Girl, Interrupted, portrayed by Brittany Murphy, was found dead, having commited suicide.) Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't know it's the end of the world 'cos you don't love me anymore? Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don't they know it's the end of the world It ended when I lost your love I wake up in the morning and I wonder Why everything's the same as it was. I can't understand, no I can't understand how life goes on the way it does.

While watching the excellent documentary "His Name Was Jason," one of the commentators remarked how Jason was "the protagonist in his films." This struck me as interesting but not incorrect depending on how you look at the Friday the 13th series. The simplistic, watered-down definition of protagonist as I understood for many years was "the good guy." While this is the most commonly used definition, other means exist as illustrated by the literary definition . The term can mean anything from the first actor onstage in theatrical productions, the "hero" of the story, or even a mere participant in the story. Arguably though, the best definition is the central character, the one whom the audience conveys the most sympathy towards.

Oops. The F is right next to the D. So, I figured that since my last post was about a movie that is damn near perfection, I figured (partly inspired by it being on right now) that I would give you my offering for worst movie ever. Howard the Duck . This piece of garbage came out in 1986 and I have a small scar in both eyes ever since, from where I tried to scratch them out. Admittedly, I have seen it more than once. Not really sure why. I probably at one point wanted to bang Lea Thompson and her crimped hair (and Holly Robinson for that matter), or I had some bizarre compulsion to see duck titties again. Whatever the reason, I am ashamed. If you want to see why a terrible movie is terrible (and believe me, you don't), look no further. Piss poor acting, terrible directing and editing, absolutely insane and unfathomable plot; this has it all. I will give you the Reader's Digest version. Howard T. Duck (yeah, that's right) is pulled from his duck planet (which is just like

Like many people, I have a few "Top 5" or whatever denomination lists. Movies, music, tv shows, etc. Most of them, especially the music one, changes very often, sometimes by day. My movie list, everchanging as well, has always, since 2000, had Memento on it, usually at #1. I had read about this film before it came out and was quite intrigued at the concept. Bascially, it is about a man, Leonard ( Guy Pearce ) who cannot form new memories, and is trying to solve his wife's murder. The movie tells his story backwards, where each new scene you watch ends where the previous one began. He must keep notes and pictures and in some cases tatoos, to remind him of certain things and people. He usually forgets what is going on after about 5-15 minutes. He has normal memory up until the point of his wife's murder, an altercation in which he was injured, thus leaving him in his condition. I had never seen a movie like this before I entered the theatre that day. I was lucky enoug