Movie Scum

If you would have asked me six months ago about the 21 Jump Street remake, I likely would have had a pained look on my face paired with an enthusiastic thumbs down. I wouldn't have been the only one as #pbf remarked in his rant just prior to its release. As the premiere grew closer and I kept seeing more trailers and clips, I felt a small glimmer of hope that it could actually be good. Yes, even with Duke himself, Channing Tatum , playing a lead role. I can't say I am a fan of the originating series but nor am I a foe. Given that I was five when it premiered and never caught it in reruns, I was not as perturbed at the piggy-backing on a famous name as some. Yet, like most in the movie-watching world, I am leery and over saturated with crap movies churned out simply because they ride the coattails of nostalgia. Thankfully, I believe Jonah Hill and writer Michael Bacall share that sentiment as Jump Street is not just an empty box office cash-grab for the fans of a nearly ...

There are not too many positive examples of video-game-to-film transitions that you can point to. Some, like the first Resident Evil movie, are spun off from their console counterparts into a mediocre cinema treat that is begging to be forgotten after you’ve concluded watching it. Others are rancid piles of feces. Heavenly Sword: The Movie (based on the hit interactive graphic adventure!) falls more toward the former than the latter. It is not however without its own issues. About six weeks ago, Kenny asked me to review this film. Having never even heard of the game before, I was reluctant to take part for fear that it catered solely toward those already familiar with the premise. Having read the film’s summary on Wikipedia, I realized that it did a fine job in conveying some of the more important points but due to the necessary truncation, some elements were not as fleshed out as I would have preferred. I blame Todd Farmer, writer of the interstellar juggernaut Jason X. Heavenly...

As one half of 2013′s dueling White House under siege films, Olympus Has Fallen is so patently absurd that it is borderline offensive. From the opening frame of the film, the story apparently takes place in a fictitious universe that lacks any common sense of terrorist attacks, tactical ability, or even the best way of not dying from automatic machine gun fire. But even though it is stupid enough to make your eyes bleed, this is way better than it has any right to be.

Considering that Twister was 1996′s second highest grossing film , I have always found the lack of a rushed, blatant studio-cash-in sequel puzzling. Even as the years ticked by, I can't help but think that Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, and Jami Gertz all had their agents pestering Warner Brothers for a follow-up, even if it in all likelihood would be a soulless reusing of the first's films flimsy structure without any of the accidental charisma that the original had.

The following exchange took place in an episode from season 4 of the great Seinfeld .

Somewhere between Peter Weller deciding to hand over the RoboCop suit to Robert John Burke , the big wigs at OCP, or whatever big business in charge, decided that RoboCop needed to be more family friendly, thus leading to the first PG-13 film in the series. Never mind the fact that the original is a gory mess, even for an 80s movie, and the sequel probably expended more rounds than the Persian War, some damn parental board decided RoboCop should be a corporate product complete with action figures and cars and even it’s own spin-off TV show not too much later. Hence: RoboCop 3 . Since the last installment, old Detroit has gone to shit even more, OCP has merged with some Japanese company, and a military-esque team is brought in to force them damn ghetto people out by force for the construction of OCP’s idealistic Delta City. Luckily the ragtag team of CCH Pounder , Stephen Root , Daniel von Bargen , and a cute, smart displaced girl with uncanny computer skills decide to fight the pr...

It’s almost funny that Irvin Kershner , director of the undisputed best Star Wars movie, was tapped as the director of RoboCop 2 . While I can’t say I’ve seen any of his other works, he seems to be the studio-appointed and restrained errand boy as opposed to Verhoeven on the original. So naturally with the law of sequels, RoboCop 2 features most of the same players but with a bigger foe in the titular character. Stripped of its social and historical allusions, RoboCop 2 is just another sequel that attempts to up the ante with less else new to offer as the evil conglomerate OCP attempts to recreate RoboCop from a psychotic drug dealer. Surprisingly things don’t work out as planned which fortunately leads to one of the best police shootouts on film. But instead of the heroic journey that Murphy endures in the original, here he is sidelined and neutered. Even though the finale of the last film had Peter Weller’s character realizing he is more than simply a corporate product of dest...

With the release of the newest RoboCop reboot trailer which I must say has me intrigued, I wanted to officially revisit the original of which I've seen approximately 413 times. While the argument can be made for just about any remake, RoboCop is one of the few "old" movies that has more cultural relevance today than it did upon it's release. Big conglomerates, similar to OCP, are basically running the United States; the city of Detroit is bankrupt and probably will snap up any corporate sponsor it can, and between drones and the NSA and everything else we know nothing about, technology seems to be far outpacing our ability to harness it. If it sounds like I am paranoid, I am (not really at least). But basically all of this was foretold twenty-six years ago with arguably Paul Verhoeven 's most complex film, excluding Jesse Spano in her Showgirls stage. Much like many of the age-inappropriate movies I consumed under the age of 10, the themes and allusions o...

From the jump, World War Z has been plagued with problems. From ire among fans of the book that the film takes the title, but little else from, to the well-publicized production and budget woes, to last minute reshoots, the writing on the wall indicated that this would be a disaster. Yet somehow, in spite of a title that is still very divisive, a director who is not quite known for his action directing abilities, and a "family-friendly" PG-13 rating, World War Z is actually a pretty solid film and juggernaut at the box office. I'm sure we'll see the sequel World War Double-Z in 2016.

SCENE: SWANKY CONFERENCE ROOM FILLED WITH OCP INVESTORS Old Man: Our system of entertainment is under assault and dangerous crime. The real crime: unoriginalty. In an effort to replace Hollywood with our own Delta City CA, we need a cop who not only has the weapons to fight these street thugs but the resources to use them. Ladies and gentlemen…. I introduce to you …..

With AMC’s Breaking Bad ending soon and Mad Men on its elongated final legs, AMC is looking to fill the void with more than just Chris Hardwick talkshows. They say there is no risk-taking in Hollywood these days, and … this announcement  couldn’t further back up that sentiment:

Dexter has come to a close on Showtime. Breaking Bad is close to its final episode. In the current television landscape you no doubt will come across someone who loudly exclaims while covering their mouth with their hands after telling them you haven't seen their favorite TV show. Unless you are an unemployed mouth breather with government handouts at your whim, chances are you are working and being a productive member of society and thus, not able to take advantage of the plethora of ways to consume entertainment these days.