Movie Scum

Written by: PBF I guess I can excuse the fact that this installment took place in space, since that’s were Critters began. That’s more believable than going from Crystal Lake to space. Critters 4 opens with an inaccurately re-shot scene from the end of part 3 where Charlie has been advised to wait for a pod sent from the Intergalactic Council. There is a space law that says you cannot kill the last of any species, and a holographic Ug tells Charlie not to destroy the last 2 Krite eggs. As Charlie is loading the eggs in the pod, he gets trapped in it and is taken to space. 53 years later, in the year 2045, the pod is discovered floating around by the crew of a salvage ship, and they take it. They are unable to determine what is in it, but they find the logo of Terracrop. They speak to Ug, who is now Counselor Tetra of Terracorp. He explains that he will meet the crew at a space station not far from them. While waiting, a jerk crew member opens the pod with a space laser gun and o...

Written by: PBF ***THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. NOT FOR CRITTERS 3, BUT FOR FEAST III.*** Have you seen Leonardo DiCaprio’s latest film, Inception? If not, what the hell are you waiting for, but if so, I invite you to check out his first film (if you have not already), Critters 3 . Not because it is good, but so you can suffer the same pain I have. The only thing Critters 3 has to do with the first two films, is that there are Critters, and a bit of back story given by Charlie, who was made Sheriff of Grover’s Bend in Critters 2 . This film does not take place in Grover’s Bend, however. Clifford, his son Johnny and teen daughter Annie are travelling home when they get a flat tire and pull into a rest stop. Johnny is chasing his Frisbee when he runs in to an older kid named Josh (DiCaprio). While in the woods, Charlie jumps out and gives the aforementioned back story to remind us all that we are in a Critters sequel. He in fact, is hunting the remaining Critters. As formul...

Written by PBF The other day, Puck reminded me that I have only reviewed one of the Critters films and that I needed to finish the series out. Damn you, Puck. At the end of the first installment of Critters , we see a batch of Krite eggs, leaving a gaping opening for a sequel. 2 years later, we have Critters 2: The Main Course . At the beginning of the film, the 2 bounty hunters from the first, Ug and Lee, are in space with Charlie, the town drunk from Grover’s Bend, the town where the Krite attack occurred. They are killing some space creature, when another space creature calls them on their space video phone and tells them that there are still Krites on Earth and they must return. Charlie is somewhat hesitant about this, as he was a nobody and a drunk while he lived on Earth. Ug reassures him that he is one of them now, and this seems to calm Charlie’s nerves. Back in Grover’s Bend, the Krite eggs are discovered by some young punk, and he immediately trades them for beer to a g...

Written by: PBF I really like it when I revisit a movie that I have not seen in some time and it turns out to be actually good. Not just nostalgic good, but genuinely good. Such is the case with Critters . It was not the cheese ball horror flick I apparently erroneously remembered. We start off in space where a group of prisoners called Krites are being transported to a prison asteroid. Something goes awry and the Krites steal a ship and escape. Two space bounty hunters are commissioned to find them. The Krites land in rural Kansas and the bounty hunters follow them there. We meet the Browns, your typical family with Dad Jay, Mom Helen, and brother and sister Brad and April. Brad and April get on each others nerves as brothers and sisters usually do, and Brad tends to misbehave a bit. April is a hormone engulfed teen who just wants to bang her boyfriend Steve (a young Billy Zane ) in the hay. This invasion of Krites serves as the event that will remind them of how important it is...