The other day, Puck reminded me that I have only reviewed one of the Critters films and that I needed to finish the series out. Damn you, Puck.
At the end of the first installment of Critters, we see a batch of Krite eggs, leaving a gaping opening for a sequel. 2 years later, we have Critters 2: The Main Course. At the beginning of the film, the 2 bounty hunters from the first, Ug and Lee, are in space with Charlie, the town drunk from Grover’s Bend, the town where the Krite attack occurred. They are killing some space creature, when another space creature calls them on their space video phone and tells them that there are still Krites on Earth and they must return. Charlie is somewhat hesitant about this, as he was a nobody and a drunk while he lived on Earth. Ug reassures him that he is one of them now, and this seems to calm Charlie’s nerves. Back in Grover’s Bend, the Krite eggs are discovered by some young punk, and he immediately trades them for beer to a guy named Quigley. Quigley sells some to Brad Brown’s Grandmother claiming that they are eggs from Europe. Brad you will no doubt recall is the son from the first movie. He and his family have since moved to Kansas City and he returns to spend Easter with his Grandmother. She is going to use the eggs that she bought for an egg hunt with some kids. She gives one of the eggs to a little girl. So now there are Krite eggs scattered around various parts of town. Needless to say, they hatch and Grover’s Bend once again falls victim to furry alien creatures that like to bite.
This movie isn’t really that good. The acting is still fine and I mean it is a pretty standard 80’s horror movie, but it just wasn’t as good as the first one. This time around there was way too much time spent getting to know characters that I ultimately didn’t give a shit about. Because of this, the movie was very slow. The pace was all off. The first movie kept going once it started, but this one kept slowing back down. Instead of quickly thinking on their feet and reacting to the situation, the characters, would stop and think of a plan, go seek help from the former sheriff Marv (who in this movie was played by Barry Corbin, instead of the no name actor I am too lazy to look up right now from the first one. Barry played him as he does any character he plays; foul mouthed, smug, tobacco chewing and hilarious). I am not sure why they did that, as Marv was pretty useless in the first film. Also, there was too much stupid comedy in this one. One of the Krites actually says, “Bitchin’.” Even more annoying is that Krites don’t speak English and thus this was translated, meaning that the Krites actually have a word for “bitchin’.”
I wouldn’t really call this crap, because it certainly does sit at the same level and many other 80’s horror movies. It is pretty run of the mill. But I wouldn’t bother with it. If you have seen the first Critters, just stop there and pretend the creatures were never heard from again. I, unfortunately, have two more films to go.
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