Movie Scum

In the real world, guns are dangerous, deadly devices that should always be handled with care and respect. In movies, however, guns are awesome! Even more awesome are the futuristic guns that only exist in frantic, action-packed movie fire fights. Here are my top 9 favorite fictional fire-arms. 9. Blamethrower ( Mystery Men ) The only non-lethal gun on the list, this bazooka-esque heavy weapon, designed and built by Doc Heller, fires an invisible beam that causes groups of enemies to become very angry with one another, rendering them combat-ineffective. 8. M41a Pulse Rifle ( Aliens ) Arguably the most versatile weapon in the space marine arsenal, this gun combines the automatic fire of the M1A1 Thompson with an under-slung pump-action SPAS12 shotgun, loaded in the film with small grenades. 7. Samaritan ( Hellboy ) A big demon that hunts other big demons needs an edge, and Hellboy's massive revolver fits the bill. Not only is the gun itself made from mystical materi

When the FOX network was just a little girl, she had a delightful program that I rather enjoyed called 21 Jump Street . Stephen J. Cannell was such a genius. If you are only a casual fan of Johnny Depp , or are just not familar with this part of his resume, do yourself a favor and check out a few episodes. But try to remember it took place in the late 80's and early 90's. While he had already been in A Nightmare on Elm Street and a few other things, if you look at his resume, he career pretty much took off after Jump Street. This show was about some cops that looked young enough to pass as a high school students, so they would go undercover and form friendships with troubled youths and tear those friendships in to pieces by revealing that they were cops, and arresting them or their friends. They would tackle serious issues like drug use, AIDS, depression, and others. Fairly often there would be a PSA style message after the show, presented by the actors, ala G.I. Joe. I was a

Sadly, I ruin the ending. Try to ignore that part.

I'm sure you've all been victim to the recast monster. It takes no mercy for greed, on-screen sheninigans, or scheduling conflicts. It has no reason, no sense of remorse, or even common sense. It is willing to break your suspension of disbelief and continuity just for fun. Here are just a few random recastings that I though of which make little to no sense. Victoria - Twilight series Perhaps the most recent of these offenses is Bryce Dallas Howard taking over for Rachelle Lefevre in the third of the Twilight series. The official reason was cited as scheduling conflicts. Obviously having not seen the upcoming Eclipse , I cannot pass judgment on the new interpretation of the Victoria character, but the filmmakers should have exercised a bit more caution when dealing with riled-up 14-year-olds and Twi-moms. They seem to take this stuff seriously. Kristen - Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3 & Part 4 From what I can gather, Patricia Arquette was unable to return to the rol

It's no secret that Hollywood producers are scared to death of original ideas. One just has to look at the past decade of films to see that most big budget movies released in theaters are adaptations of existing stories (novels, short stories, and most recently, comic books) or sequels of successful and some not-so successful films. (seriously, Jumper 2 ?) But now, we are living in the age of the remake, and it pisses me off to no end. Why adapt or continue a good story when you can just take a preexisting movie and re-shoot it? There's already a built-in audience that loves the property, and that audience doesn't have to be worried about coping with new ideas or unexpected plot twists. Just look at the release line-up for 2010 and 2011. It's packed full of “new” movies that are remakes of classics, remakes of foreign films, and, most absurdly, remakes of remakes. I'll forgive that some older movies like Fritz Lang's Metropolis from 1927 might benefit from a

TWISTER 2: Twistin' The Night Away?!?!? This is a movie that would work well in 3D. While the original was certainly not the pinnacle of disaster movies, it was rather fun. I support this. 'Zombieland' Scribes to Tackle 'G.I. Joe' Sequel? While PBF may have disappoved of their previous cinematic entry, the positives of Zombieland may give these guys yet another chance . 'District 9' Prequel is Possible As prequels generally are not that interesting, if this has a good mix of the initial human/alien integration and how things lead to the events of District 9 , it might make for a good film ... or a really bad cash-in. 'The Thing' Prequel Begins Lensing This March I will fully admit that The Thing is not a perfect movie, but it was damn fine but I cannot see how a remake will add anything to the excellence of its predecessor. Actually, the fact that there is going to be a remake of a remake of a remake is rather funny .

Just a quick post to show you this .

The collective filmgeeks of the world cheered when it was announced that Darren Aronofsky would be helming a remake of 1987's RoboCop as an attempt to breathe life into this once great franchise which has fallen mightily. However, the production company's financial woes not only have resulted in the film being pushed back but may even cost the world a semi-decent remake of a beloved film. The near-defunct MGM has dictated to Aronofsky that the reboot shall be made in 3D or else. Having a scant, but still highly lauded, number of titles to his name, Aronofsky does not seem to be a guy to make a movie for the money. As such, the presumed director is more than willing to walk as opposed to making a movie he does not want to. As I have previously asked , what is the big f-in deal with movies in 3D? Sure, it may work for gimmicky horror movies like My Bloody Valentine or Friday the 13th Part III with axes and eyeballs careening toward the audience, but short of the totally

No one can deny that the trucker turned film-maker James Cameron has been one of Hollywood's biggest movers and shakers of the last several decades. Movies like Aliens , The Abyss , and Terminator 2 have not only cemented Cameron's name in the halls of movie history, but were also big parts of my childhood, shaping my expectations of how amazing a science fiction film could be. After a twelve year hiatus and some deep sea documentaries, Cameron returns to the director's chair for his new sci-fi opus, Avatar . The story is fairly simple. A paraplegic space marine named Jake Sully ( Sam Worthington ) is dispatched to the alien world of Pandora, where a corporate mining operation is trying to gather a rare and expensive mineral ore. The planet is filled with giant, aggressive creatures, chief among these being an intelligent tribal culture called the Na'vi. To avoid violence, the company's scientists, headed by Doctor Grace Augustine ( Sigourney Weaver ) have engi

This movie is a piece of shit. I am actually angry at it. I am angry that it looked at me in the face, and had the balls to fucking show me the things it showed me. You want to know where I rank this movie in it's genre? In the same bracket as Super Mario Bros. and Street Fighter . Not the animated Street Fighter; the live action one. The one where Guile, an American, is played by a Belgian who can barely speak English. Here's the skinny on the plot of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra : There are warheads that have nanomites in them. Nanomites eat metal (and everything else, but emphasis was placed on the eating of metal). They also can do other things, such as reconstruct faces and push the venom of a cobra right back out of a person's arm. They can also be used in mind control. Anyway, Duke and Ripcord have them, Baroness tries to steal them, G.I. Joe saves Duke and Ripcord and the warheads, Baroness and Storm Shadow, et al successfully steal them. There you go. Cobra has n

In an effort to distract my daughter from wanting to watch Curious George (and I must admit, I wanted to see it as well) I put the movie Up on. She has seen it many times, but I had never. I am normally not a fan of Disney movies, or animated movies in general (despite my affections for TV shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force , Ren and Stimpy , Invader Zim and others), but having watched Wall-E with my daughter, I have since changed that. I have assumed it is because both these films are Pixar, and from what I understand, they have an excellent track record. Up is the story of Carl Fredericksen, a 78 year old (voiced by Ed Asner ), as he tries to make it to Paradise Falls, an adventure planned with his wife before she died, and ultimately having it's roots in his childhood. They were obsessed with exploring new places and with an explorer named Charles Muntz (voiced by Christopher Plummer ). To accomplish this, he flies his house, which is where he met his late wife in childhood,

The word “versus” is usually reserved for boxing matches, Supreme Court cases, and film titles that begin with the name Godzilla or Gamera . I imagine that this film was intended to entertain the same head space as other giant monster classics, but Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus falls short of even that minimalistic criteria. This flick comes to us curtsey of The Asylum , a direct-to-DVD company with a rather dubious track record. Mostly, they make cheaply and horribly produced movies with titles suspiciously similar to big-budget blockbusters. Such movies include Transmorphers , Death Racers , Sunday School Musical , and The Day the Earth Stopped , most likely hoping that confused consumers hunting for the latest releases will buy their movies by accident. I'm almost amazed by a company who's marketing strategy seems to have been devised by some giant, carnivorous plant. But I'm not talking about those flicks, I'm talking about a movie with a plot and production valu