Movie Scum

An Angry Birds movie may have made sense a few years ago. Is this an attempt to reinvigorate the franchise or merely sell more games and plush animals? The new trailer for The Angry Birds Movie , due out next summer, a good four years or so since Angry Birds were relevant in pop culture, doesn’t show much action or plot but merely introduces the characters we’ve all grown to love and loathe through our pig-destroying levels. The fact that this trailer light on jokes and heavy on name placement doesn’t bode well for this adaptation but we are still a few seasons away from a release. Although, this cast, including Jason Sudekis as ‘Red’, could enliven the scorned birds sufficiently, this seems more of a late cash grab than any animated kids movie that has any merit. Perhaps I’ll be wrong.

With M. Night Shyamalan back in the news recently for relatively positive reviews for his newest film, let us not forget that he has made some shitty movies. One of those movies is The Happening .

According to Deadline , the powers that be are planning The Mist to be a weekly endeavor. It’s funny that I just watched the film with my son this weekend, to which he threw the remote in anger due to the ending. The overall gist sounds the same with a strange mist rolling into a small town filled with god-knows-what and presumably the plucky cast of characters who have to face it all. While I’m not sure that The Mist would be a suitable candidate for TV adaptation, it certainly sounds intriguing enough. Hopefully for some, there won’t be such a downer ending.

There was much complaining in the wake of last week’s finale that the pace was too slow with too little to justify its bloated runtime. While I can see the argument, I disagreed with that assessment. This, the second episode, should more closely match fan’s expectations: more zombies, more carnage, more collapse of society. As is stated in the episode: “it all goes quickly.” Madison, Travis, and Nick are mostly in shock at the start following the close of the pilot with Nick’s dealer, having been shot and twice run down with a truck, still giving them the glance-over with that glazed, zombified look in his eyes. Madison’s daughter, on the other hand, is concerned with her boyfriend who flaked on their last meetup and decides to go to his house. There she finds a house torn to pieces and Matt with a high fever and an unknownst to her bite on his shoulder. After finally prying Alicia away from Matt without any damn good explanation of why, the group heads back to their house only ...

According to Hollywood Reporter , Wes Craven has died at the age of 76. Likely only in stature to John Carpenter, Craven and his work has had a remarkable impact on not only my movie-going experience but life in general. Beginning with his first feature Last House on the Left , Craven has had the remarkable ability to inspire and horrify viewers for over 40 years. He dreamt our nightmare with A Nightmare on Elm Street . He made slasher films relevant again in his Scream series. He brought to life so many various stories of despair and trouble through voodoo, incarceration, and even robotics. While admittedly his output has been very hit-or-miss (more miss in his later years), Craven was always held up as a professor of the genre that he helped create. He, and his works, will be sorely missed. Wes Craven 1939-2016

Adulthood is scary. An imaginary foe constantly stalking you is even worse.

Whereas the pilot episode to The Walking Dead began with a bang and a shuffling zombie girl clutching a stuffed bunny, Fear’s pilot takes the more nuanced approach of showing us the world of despair and decay, only for the sake of watching it be torn down even further. Opening in dank, darkened church but strange sounds, heroin addict Nick stumbles around to find a few of his mates eviscerated and his friend Gloria munching on a dude’s face. Unsurprisingly, Nick is shocked and appalled and runs his ass right out of the church into oncoming traffic. Nick is the son of Madison, the level-headed guidance counselor, who has long given up on her son’s drug problems. When Nick turns up in police custody after the accident ranting about what he has seen, Madison is quick to renounce them as ravings of a drug addict and not a looming threat to the world at large. Oops. For as much as this series was built upon the premise of a first-hand report of the collapse of civilization, very li...

Remember way back when Michael Bay wasn’t responsible for teenaged-fantasy films of semi-nudity, explosions, and gratuitous slow-mo? Yeah, me neither.

At this point where potential blockbusters are fizzling faster than an opened 2-liter soda and the Age of Superhero Glut is rapidly approaching with a list of theatrical releases that only rivals the Republican candidates, when will the general public become as oversaturated with superheroes as they were slashers in the 80s or Haley Joel Osment in the 90s? Enter Deadpool. No doubt by now you’ve seen the Deadpool trailer and the awesomeness it brings along with it. But even though Deadpool is not a household name (at least not in my comic-book reading household), the film seems to strive to break the monotony of heroes, gods, larger-than-life villains but not a lot of substance. Of course, Deadpool ’s biggest draw over it’s crowded marketplace is that Fox has committed to releasing a Hard-R picture which not only can provide the blood and guts that tameless PG-13 films have had to curtail, but also to showcase Deadpool’s very iconic and abrasive personality with all the F-bombs a...

Well damn if Sinister isn’t a gut punch, even for hardened horror fans like myself. Sinister carries similar traits as other Blumhouse Productions such as Paranormal Activity or Insidious. Blumhouse films tend to be far more suspense than horror, using fear, dread, and general anxiousness over stupid, vapid villains and unearned jumpscares. Sinister , focusing on a true crime author who finds himself way in over his head in horrendous crimes against families follows suit. And it’s probably one of the better horror films to come out this decade. Ethan Hawke is Ellison Oswalt , the aforementioned writer, who is so desperate for a hit that he uproots his family and moves them into a house where the previous occupants were suspended from a hanging tree limb for quite a while. Of course, Oswalt, being the good caregiver he is, declines to tell his family they are living in the murder capital of their quite county. Oswalt stumbles upon a box in his new attic innocuously marked “Hom...

Hell hath no fury like a dog owner scorned. Harkening back to uber-violent action films of the 80s and 90s, Keanu Reeves as titular character John Wick is cold, calm, collected, and quite badass assassin as he single-handedly takes down an entire underground syndicate and the crime boss Tarasov’s son kills Wick’s dog while stealing his car. Being that the dog was a gift was his late wife, Wick does not take this too well and soon is running around whatever unnamed metropolis decimating the legions of bad guys working for Tarasov who are protecting his son. While he typically gets much grief for his limited range and acting abilities, Reeves absolutely shines here as the withdrawn, broken Wick. Many fight scenes and shootouts occur during the film where Wick executes those in his way in a cold, brutal fashion and Reeves looks mighty creepy with his blank, emotionless face while pulling the trigger point-blank at a man. Co-directors Chad Stahelski and David Leitch make what...

After the news of Michael Myers’ triumphant return in the stupidly titled “ Halloween Returns ,” Myers’ contemporary slasher villains are not going to sit on their laurels. I wonder where the saturation point of dredging up old 80s and 90s franchises will land but apparently not here as both Freddy and Jason have rumored continuations in the near future. A Friday the 13th series is apparently in the works at the CW which will feature the masked zombie/undeadish thing rather than whatever that anthology bullshit was that the previous series tried to pass off. According to IGN , the series will take place around the infamous Crystal Lake that “takes a more “sophisticated” approach as a horror/crime thriller.” There is also talks of gritty and grounded. To that I say: how the hell can one make Jason Voorhees a gritty and/or realistic/ and/or grounded character considering he’s been dead for about seven movies? The series will apparently focus on a detective searching for his ...