Movie Scum

Why did I not have a desire to see Warrior when it was in theaters? The stellar-looking cast including Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton didn’t hurt but perhaps it was the seemingly overwrought story of two estranged brothers who each are fighting against each other for whichever predetermined important reason. (Was that even supposed to be a surprise in the final act? Because it’s all over the trailer!) Or perhaps Warrior didn’t strike my fancy since I am hardly a sports fanatic even though the brutality and testosterone-y aspects of MMA are pretty cool. Yet, all it took was one of my colleagues saying “You’ll want to tackle someone while watching it” that got me on board. For the record, he was right. Even if you are Amish or have short-term memory problems, or have otherwise not seen the entire narrative spoiled in the previews, the story in Warrior is so expected that you can see it coming from two summers ago. Hardy plays Tommy Conlon, an angry and bitter man who has suffered thr...

In spite of the cast and crew, I can’t say I was expecting much from The Campaign . Sure, Will Ferrell is still arguably one of the best comedic actors still working but his recent output has been inconsistent. Likewise, Zach Galifianakis has had a few good roles but is largely coasting on being the weird, lovable lunk that John Candy may have played twenty years ago. In the film, Farrell pretty accurately portays Cam Brady, a North Carolina good ol’ boy who is running for Congress unopposed. He’s suave and well-spoken but doesn’t actually believe a single thing he says other than he wants to be congressman again. In other words, he nails a typical politician with ease. After Brady leaves a lewd answering machine message at Jack McBrayer’s house, the Motch brothers ( Dan Akroyd and John Lithgow ) decide to throw a monkey wrench in his campaign by backing Marty Huggins (Galifianakis), a simpleton with no political experience who is easily swayed into poor decisions by money and p...

I’m typically a sucker for end-of-the-world type stories so I was curious about Seeking a Friend for the End of the World even with an apparent lovey-dovey relationship courtesy of writer/director Lorene Scafaria. While I haven’t seen most of them, Steve Carell has successfully headlined a number of films but he just seems uncomfortable in this romance/comedy/drama hybrid. Granted, his character is meant to be shy and reserved but it’s a wild change from most of what he’s most familiar from. His screen partner Keira Knightley is delightful and the two leads share a good chemistry. But, and possibly by design, their relationship never feels as genuine as it should as the two attempt to cross New Jersey apparently (bleh) on the eve of the apocalypse. There are some funny moments as well as some serious ones about the reflection of life and love but because the film never really commits to which genre it wants to be in, things are less impactful. Until the world comes to an end that is...

If you recall from my review of the first film , I wasn’t a huge fan of the first washed-up action star reunion show. It had its moments and is decent enough for a soulless, mindless popcorn flick but nothing more. As such, I wasn’t expecting much from its follow-up. Surprisingly enough though, The Expendables 2 is a bit goofier and a bit more over-the-top but it is a nice entry into the random action film category. The idea of a sequel to the first film is not a hard sell since Sylvester Stallone and his band of mercenary misfits are designed to be an autonomous group traversing the world to kill tons of people and woo women. This time around, Stallone’s Barney Ross (did he have a name in the first? I didn’t catch it at least) is tasked by Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) to retrieve a sensitive package from a downed plane. Even though Church describes it as a cake-walk, things are anything but once the villainous Jean-Claude Van Damme shows up to intercept the package. Oh, and that c...

This movie is terrible. Of course, this isn't a secret or a new revelation I've come to in deducing how mind-boggingly lazy this film is. In fact, it's so bad that I can safely classify it with The Happening which induces similar headaches and constant facepalms while maintaining its ability to make me want to suffer through it even though I know I'll hate myself afterward.

While I haven't seen any of his films, I hear director Ti West is an up-and-comer in the horror world off of his Cabin Fever 2 and The House of the Devil . And while the occasional one may, I have long since given up on the notion that a movie can "scare" me. Yet, I applaud those filmmakers who intend to create new horror films to at least attempt so long as they have the basic tenants of film making covered. As such, even being an original concept, The Innkeepers fails on pretty much every level. Upon re-reading #pbf's review of The House of the Devil , it seems that West has a particular method of filmmaking in mind: a slow-burn callback to horror movies from decades ago. There are a lot of elements in Innkeepers that seem out of place in the modern film society: very contained cast of half a dozen or so, creepy locale, minimal technology, and a seemingly gradual buildup to the scares rather than a steady pace of false jump scares and such. Writer and director...

No doubt your DVR is stacked to the brim with episodes of zombies, vampires, Kentucky-based meth-dealers, and other harbingers of the apocalypse, but NBC is unsatisfied with merely having a well-received show about a flesh-eating psychiatrist as its grim factor. Enter Outbreak: The Movie!

On paper (and in the ads), Act of Valor sounds like an interesting premise: an action film shot using Navy SEALs in place of actors. After all, if they can portray even half of the cool stuff the general public even knows about, it should kick ass, right? Eh, sadly not so much. Of all movie genres, it doesn't take too much for me to like a military-based film probably much like the rest of the world enjoys the hell out of military-based video games. Mostly in these films there is a decent story, great action, and overwhelming sense of humility for even the fictional military members doing things that I'd rather not have to think about. They are almost cathartic that way. Act of Valor on the other hand fizzles out almost from the start with a heavy-handed narration from one SEAL to (presumably) the son of another fallen soldier. In the next scene, we meet Rourke who is about to deploy and whose wife is expecting a baby. As if his fate as an expectant father in a dangerous ...

When this movie was first announced as a prequel to the John Carpenter's The Thing , arguably one of the best horror movies ever made, I felt an odd sense of relief knowing that it wouldn't be an out and out remake. Of course, framing this as a prequel to a classic film creates its own problems as it effectively paints the film into a corner at the risk of alienating a huge portion of the audience that would get up in arms if it does not tie into the original. So, The Thing '11 is almost like a cinematic damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't scenario. Surprisingly though, it turns out pretty well. Maybe it was explained in Carpenter's film (or the preceeding film or the novella they all are based on) but why are all these people in Antarctica in the first place? I get that they are research teams but what are they researching? The balmy conditions outside? The mental stress of being cooped up in a reinforced cardboard box for months at a time? Alien mating call...

Every generation has its defining movie premiere that lives in the annals of history: The Godfather , Star Wars , Weekend at Bernie's . Yet, #pbf and I were giddy with excitement late on a Thursday night in August 2010. The midnight premiere we were gearing up for: Piranha 3D . Sadly, Dimension Films in all their wisdom denied us a repeat event when Piranha 3DD was shuffled around the release schedule only to end up in a few dozen theaters. Dumbasses.

Written by: PBF Chernobyl Diaries  is basically The Hills Have Eyes . Except it sucks. Although, the premise is interesting and believable; too bad the writing and acting ruined all of that. Chris, Amanda and Natalie (Chris's girlfriend) are travelling through Europe. They see all the usual touristy stuff then head to Kiev, to visit Paul, Chris's brother. After that, they plan to visit Moscow. However, at breakfast, Paul describes something called "extreme tourism," which, as soon as he said that phrase, I imagined some twenty-something slamming a Mountain Dew and exclaiming, "I saw the shit out of Big Ben!" As it turns out, extreme tourism is simply a flashy term for touring places that one would not think of touring. For example, Chernobyl. Paul met a gentleman named Uri, who runs such a service and he describes it to the others. They are reluctant at first, but via Paul's charm and whimsy, eventually agree to go. Two others, Michael and Zoe, joi...

The general consensus was that The Avengers could not work as intended. Granted, Marvel Studios did their best in establishing the four main members of the group with their own films that were mostly pretty solid in their own right, but how can one film fit so much backstory, sarcastic quips, and charisma from the assembled team without it being six hours long? Enter Joss Whedon to write and direct it, complete with his own built-in cult of crazed fans even though his output has never included anything of this size or scope before. I can't say I am a rabid fan of Whedon, only because there are many gaps in his resume that I have not seen. Nonetheless, he seemed like a perfect choice just from the goodwill the internet has for him as well as the properties of his I have seen (like the completely awesome Cabin in the Woods).