Movie Scum

Written by: Digger Few films have explored the terrifying notion of a possessed appendage. The Crawling Hand was entirely centered around the disembodied hand of a dead astronaut being controlled by an alien consciousness. In Evil Dead 2, Ash dueled with his own hand that had been infected by evil spirits. And, in 1999, audiences were introduced to the next evolution of the demonic limb in the horror comedy Idle Hands. Devon Sawa plays the improbably named Anton Tobias, the epitome of the stoned, high-school slacker that were so very prevalent throughout the nineties. The local news is buzzing with unsolved murders, but this is the least of Anton’s worries, as he is out of weed. He visits his friends Mick (Seth Green) and Pnub (Elden Henson) who convince him to smoke a mixture of oregano and nutmeg. Anyway, after all this dumb-fuckery, Anton discovers the bodies of his own parents, then murders Mick with a broken bottle and Pnub with a circular saw blade. Anton is horrified that hi

Written by: Digger This film starts with a little educational text stating that the South China Sea hides deep chasms that have never been explored by man, and that numerous ships have mysteriously vanished in those areas of the ocean for decades. If only we could find a way to surrender this movie to the depths of the ocean for all eternity. If I had to pick only a few words to describe the plot of Deep Rising, those words would be derivative and over-written. One piece of the story starts on a small boat captained by John Finnegan (Treat Williams) who is not out crab fishing but shuttling a band of black ops mercenary types to some obscure point in the middle of the ocean. The mercenary group is led by Hanover (Wes Studi) and is composed of half a dozen or so soldiers too bland to be memorable, although I did see Jason Flemyng and that guy that played Kano in Mortal Kombat in the mix. The black ops team turns hostile on Finnegan’s crew when the ship’s wormy mechanic Joel (Kevin J

It is rather fitting that I am reviewing this film on the heels of the announcement that Mike Judge is trying to resurrect Beavis & Butthead , his breakout work. Part of Judge’s strength in previous endeavors is his ability to represent an accurate view of normal, everyday people albeit in an exaggerated fashion. In this vein, Extract is no different. The problem with Extract is that these everyday people are kind of scum (and not of the movie variety). Judge is certainly a genius to be able to wring a compelling, and funny, story out of the events going on with Joel as the owner of an manufacturing company in the business of extract who hates his job, dislikes his employees, is sexually frustrated in his marriage, and could be facing a lawsuit from one of his employees who was injured on the job. Sounds good so far, right? We’ll go down the character sheet now: Joel hates his employees and possibly his life in general. His wife Suzie is itching to have an affair. Cindy is a

Written by: Digger The Relic, a techno-thriller from the late nineties is based on the best-selling novel of the same name by writers Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs. Some critics described the film as Alien in a museum, and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Directed by Peter Hyams, probably best known for Timecop, the film largely takes place, unofficially, in Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History. Dr. Margo Green (Penelope Ann Miller) is an evolutionary biologist who is developing a new method of mapping genetic codes, but is in danger of loosing her funding to a rival scientist, Greg Li (Chi Muoi Lo). As such, Dr. Green spends most of the movie either pissed-off or terrified. In order to stay afloat, she must prepare herself for the museum's opening of their “Superstition” exhibit. Her office receives a package from Dr. Whitney, another researcher whom Margo does not like, who has been studying tribal practices and rituals in Brazil. All the crates c

Written by: Digger Is it Full Moon Studios time again? Already? Yep. This is another film from the not-so-proud direct to DVD tradition. But I have to warn everybody, this one makes Subspecies look like an Oscar winner. While the box art shows Zarkorr the invader, a giant dragon-like monster that shoots lasers from his eyes and wrecks cities for kicks, we rarely ever get to see it in the film. A giant monster wrecking stuff is not in and of itself a bad premise for a movie, but we soon move on to introduce this film’s worst element, the plot. Earth has been chosen by a collection of intelligent alien races, which we never actually see, to undergo a test. The aliens release a massive, planet crushing monster, Zarkorr, and contact one representative of the human race that they choose based on being the most average human specimen they can find. That average human is Tommy Ward (Rhys Pugh) a postal worker who likes to watch old cartoons that are probably in the public domain. The alie

Written by: Digger H.P. Lovecraft is called the father of modern horror and is credited with creating the Cthulhu Mythos and the ‘weird fiction’ sub-genre. Although there have been several adaptations of his various stories (most of them directed by Stuart Gordon) the highest any of those films have ever climbed in the mainstream consciousness is the movie Re-Animator, and that’s not a very well-known film. In 1995, the fans of John Carpenter (one of the more iconic horror directors working today) were treated to the giant H. P. Lovecraft tribute film In the Mouth of Madness. The movie opens with Sam Neill as a raving lunatic in a straight-jacket being dragged into a padded cell. Doctor Wrenn (David Warner) is called in to find out what made Sam’s character, named John Trent, go insane. John, who has covered himself and the walls of is cell with the images of crosses, sits down to tell Wrenn about his most recent case. John was a private investigator that specialized in cases of in

Written by: Digger Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus , is considered to be the first science fiction novel ever. The monster from this story is the first fictional creature to be created not from mysticism or occult rituals, but from scientific hubris. There has been a legion of film adaptations of this story, in fact, one of Edison Studios' first motion picture is a retelling of the Frankenstein tale. There have been many other attempts to translate the tale to film since, the most famous of which is the Universal Studios version from 1931, but in 1994,  Kenneth Branagh  directed what is possibly the most faithful adaptation of Mary Shelley's original novel.  The movie  begins with a voice over quote written by Mary Shelley talking about 'speaking to the mysterious fears of our nature' or some such, then opens to Captain Robert Walton ( Aidan Quinn ) leading an expedition to the north pole and getting many of his crew killed in the process. Once the ship is t

Written by: Digger In 1955, Jack Finney wrote a science-fiction novel about a race of alien seed pods that traveled through space and landed in Mill Valley, California. Those pods hatched into emotionless duplicates of the town's citizens and replaced them while they slept. A year later, this story would be adapted into the film Invasion of the Body Snatchers and would go on to become an American science-fiction classic. This was the first of four movie treatments that the original novel would receive over the next 55 years. The third of these adaptations, simply titled Body Snatchers, was directed by Abel Ferrara of Bad Lieutenant fame and features B-movie legends Larry Cohen and Stuart Gordon on the writing staff. Unlike all previous versions of this story, this film does not take place in California, but at a military base in Selma, Alabama. It begins with a family driving to the base. Steve Malone (Terry Kinney) is an agent with the Environmental Protection Agency th

Written by: Digger Anyone who has ever been to a Halloween party has heard of the 'Bloody Mary' game. You go into the bathroom, face the mirror, turn off the lights, say Bloody Mary three times, and turn on the lights. Supposedly, the spirit of Bloody Mary would appear behind you and kill you, or give you a back rub, or something. This, of course, never happened, but there would always be someone who knows someone who has a friend whose brother was killed by Bloody Mary, and a most kids that try this get fairly freaked-out about the legend. The film Candyman takes the legend even further by by replacing the ghost of Mary with an angry Tony Todd with a hook for a hand and shoots bees out of his mouth. Now that's scary. Based on the short story The Forbidden, by Clive Barker, the movie follows Helen (Virginia Madsen) a grad student writing a thesis on local folklore and urban legends. She comes across the legend of a black artist who had his hand cut off then was s

Written by: Digger The vampire is one of the most prevalent monster archetypes in film history. Ever since Nosferatu premiered in 1922, vampires have always occupied a special place in horror films. Subspecies is a Full Moon produced vampire film that never saw a theatrical release, but still has a dedicated cult following. The story starts with Radu (Andres Hove) walking though an authentic-looking castle to confront his father, King Vladislas (Angus Scrimm) and challenge him for control of the castle and an artifact called the Bloodstone. Radu’s look in the movie is actually one of the highlights of the film for me. He’s got unkempt rock star hair, powder-white skin, fingers that are twice as long as they should be, and the actor always has a sting of red drool trickling out of his mouth. He is very reminiscent of Count Orlock visually. The King explains that Radu cannot inherit the Bloodstone as it will give him too much power, and since Radu is evil, him having too much power w

A few years ago, I wrote a paper in college about real-life violence and how some people, erroneously in my opinion, try to blame movies and other mediums of entertainment for corrupting young minds. One of the films that was called out was Natural Born Killers for its glamorized presentation of the lives of a murderous duo. Kalifornia has a similar story but is told in a more sinister fashion. As David Duchovny muses in the film as aspiring author Brian, some people are born without the sense to know when they cross a line from the what-ifs of possibly hurting someone to actually doing so. Early Grayce, as played by the always awesome Brad Pitt , is one such person who enjoys life in the moment without much pause for consequence or reflection. When Brian and his other half Carrie ( Michelle Forbes ) plan to travel cross-country visiting murder scenes for Brian’s book, they hook up with Early and his girl Adele ( Juliette Lewis ) as a way of splitting gas money as both seek refu

Written by: Digger In sharp contrast to yesterday's DeepStar Six, today's film is well written, well acted, well paced, and enjoyable from top to bottom. Tremors is a modern monster classic carries the spirit of fifties science fiction and perfectly balances horror and comedy. Directed by Ron Underwood and staring Kevin Bacon as Val and Fred Ward as Earl, two down-on-their-luck handymen trying to escape their dead-end existence in Perfection Nevada. When they try to leave their tiny, isolated town, Val and Earl discover the body of a resident high on an electrical tower, dead from dehydration. The deaths outside the town begin to pile up as the surviving residents try to piece together just what exactly is killing so many people. Burt ( Michael Gross ) discovers a snake-like creature attached to the back of Val and Earl's truck that had stalled it out previously. With the only road to the closest signs of civilization blocked and all communication outside the

Written by: PBF Beerfest is the fourth film by comedy troupe Broken Lizard . I watched the unrated version on DVD and found it to be more humorous than I remembered. I assume that this is because most (if not all) of any recent viewings before this were on Comedy Central or some other basic cable channel, thus it was edited in to being unfunny. Johann von Wolfhouse, grandfather to Jan and Todd Wolfhouse, dies, and the brothers are sent to Germany by their Gam Gam (great grandmother) with his ashes. It’s Oktoberfest, and the Wolfhouses accidentally destroy a drunken celebration under a tent. They are taken to Beerfest, which is a drinking competition run by Wolfgang von Wolfhausen. Like the Olympics, teams from many different countries compete, and (unlike the Olympics) the Germans are the best. The German team are also Wolfhausens and it is discovered that they are the cousins of the Wolfhouses. However, the Wolfhausens are less than hospitable, claiming that Johann was a stable

Written by: Digger In 1989, all the cool movies were taking place under water. The most famous of these films was James Cameron’s The Abyss, but there was also a gaggle of much less memorable films, like Leviathan, Endless Descent, The Rift, and one that bares several striking similarities to Cameron’s film called DeepStar Six. In this movie, directed by Sean S. Cunningham who is most famous for gracing the world with Friday the Thirteenth, a group of submarine-driving roughnecks are contracted by the Navy to construct an underwater silo capable of launching long-range nuclear missiles. The rag-tag group includes B-movie regular Matt McCoy as James, Miguel Ferrer as a guy named Snyder, (you just know he’s going to be a bastard with a name like Snyder) and a ferociously hot Nia Peeples as Dr. Scarpelli. This crew works on the ocean floor in a scientific research station named, surprise surprise, DeepStar Six. While a pair of engineers are bombing out an undersea cave to construct th

Written by: Digger In spite of what you may think from the title, this movie has nothing to do with pumpkins. There is never even a good shot of a pumpkin in this film. I mentioned the late Stan Winston in my Predator review, and he is considered a legend of creature special effects. Pumpkinhead is his directorial debut and features his creepiest creation in the title roll. The story takes place in what can only be called the back woods of the Appalachians. Here is where Ed Harley ( Lance Henriksen ) lives with his son Billy. ( Matthew Hurley ) One day, Ed must leave his son at his general store when a group of teenagers on vacation ( this sounds familiar ) stop for a while on their long trip. The guys of the group decide to mount up on their dirt bikes for a little mid-afternoon motocross, but Joel ( John D'Aquino ) who has been drinking, runs over little Billy and kills him, then freaks out about it and takes off with most of his friends. Steve ( Joel Hoffman ) sta

Written by: Digger Arnold Schwarzenegger has had several notable costars in his movie career, such as James Earl Jones, Michael Ironside, and Tom Arnold. But his most memorable costar, for me anyway, was a seven-foot tall alien with a crab-mouth and dreadlocks.  Predator is, without a doubt, one of the greatest action movies of all time. It has an all-star cast of thick-necked dudes headed up by Arnold as "Dutch,"  Carl Weathers as Dillon, Bill Duke as Mac, and Jesse 'the Body' Ventura as Cooper. The movie opens much like John Carpenter's The Thing, with an alien ship cruising through space, the dropping a pod as it passes by Earth. Man, Earth is like the all night truck stop to the whole galaxy, apparently. An random alien flying by sees our planet and thinks "That looks like a good place to stretch my legs, maybe grab a bite to eat." Anyway, we soon cut to Dutch and his commando team being flown in to a military outpost in Guatemala. He

Written by: Digger Wait a minute. Rick Moranis ? Musical numbers? That doesn't sound like a horror movie to me. Little Shop of Horrors has a long and colorful history behind it, being a black comedy in it's first incarnation released in 1960. It was a low budget production that was directed by Roger Corman , but was pretty well received at the time. In 1982, that movie became the basis for an off-Broadway musical of the same name written by Howard Ashman . The stage play retained many of the same story elements and characters as the film. And, finally, that musical became the inspiration for the 1986 film Little Shop of Horrors that was directed by Frank Oz . So, why am I reviewing a musical comedy in any shape or form for a Halloween monster marathon? Well, the giant man-eating plant in the film, Audrey II (voiced by Levi Stubbs ) is one of the most iconic monsters of all time. Anytime someone thinks "killer plant" they don't envision Triffids o

Written by: PBF I almost feel kind of bad for giving a horrible review about a kids film. But I assure you, this film deserves it. Alpha and Omega is an animated version of the classic love story that involves a boy and a girl from different social backgrounds, in similar fashion of Romeo and Juliet or West Side Story. This one has wolves. Kate is an Alpha wolf. Alpha’s are more serious and responsible. Humphrey is an Omega wolf. Omega’s tend to have fun more and try to keep peace. It is arranged for Kate and Garth (another Alpha) to be married, however, Humphrey has a bit of a crush on Kate. Garth is a pretty boy, but has a weak howl, and apparently wolves mate (when not in arranged marriages) when their howls are the same. Some party happens and all the wolves are there. When Kate and Humphrey are alone talking, they both get hit with tranquilizer darts and wake up in a national park in Idaho. A goose that plays golf and his duck caddy inform them that they were brought

Written by: PBF Yes, I actually checked my Facebook while waiting for this movie to start. I also have a tab open in my browser right now where I am signed in to it. The Social Network tells the story of Facebook, from it’s drunken conception in a dorm room, to a billion dollar operation. Mark Zuckerberg ( Jesse Eisenberg ) gets dumped by his girlfriend and goes back to his Harvard dorm to drink and blog angrily. He suddenly comes up with the idea create a webpage where pictures of 2 female students are posted side by side, and users can click which one is hotter. As he is creating the page with the help of two friends, he blogs his progress. This project involves Zuckerberg hacking in to various residence hall databases in order to download pictures of students. He creates the page in one night and calls it Face Mash, then sends the link to as many people as he can. It becomes insanely popular, however, it lands Zuckerberg in to trouble and he is placed on six months of academ

Written by: Digger Zombies have been enjoying a lot of popularity in recent years. They have essentially taken the place of Nazis as the new go-to movie villains. Of course, we all have George Romero to thank for the common depiction of zombies in pop culture today. (often called Romero-zombies) Out of his Living Dead series of films, Day of the Dead is my personal favorite. When the movie begins, the world is already overrun with undead; it's more of a zombie post-apocalypse film. In fact, our small group of survivors are relatively safe and secure in an underground military compound outside of the Florida Everglades, at least from zombies. The humans in this film are divided among scientists, how are trying to find a way to make the zombie population docile so order can be restored, the military, who are tentatively supporting the scientists' efforts but are getting impatient with the lack of results, and a few civilians that provide indispensable skills like Jo