Movie Scum

Written by: Digger Before I even get started, let me set a few things straight about this film. The movie Yonggary has kind of a twisted past.   Although billed as a remake of the 1967 South Korean monster movie Yongary, the title and country of origin are really the only things the original film shares with its 1999 counterpart.  In an attempt to help the movie appeal to a broader international market, the film was produced with an English-speaking American cast.  The film was initially released in South Korea and internationally in 1999 but a second version of the film, with additional scenes and “improved” special effects, was released in 2001.  This remastered version, retitled Reptilian or Reptile 2001 in the United States, is currently available on DVD, and is the version that I am reviewing. Now, with all that out of the way, this movie opens with a team of archaeologists exploring a cave and some of the most horrific line deliveries in recorded histo...

Written by: PBF Glengarry Glen Ross is quite brilliant. David Mamet (screenwriter, the film is adapted from his play) loves dialogue, and if an actor cannot handle it, it’s very easy to tell. There is no issue of that in this film. Everyone in this film execute his words perfectly. Basically, the film is the story of four real estate salesmen who work for Premiere Properties (played by Al Pacino , Jack Lemmon , Alan Arkin and Ed Harris ). The owners of the company ask Blake ( Alec Baldwin ) to come in and “motivate” the salesmen. He explains that the top seller for the month will win a new Cadillac, the second place salesman will win steak knives and everyone else will be fired. He gives a quite HR inappropriate, vulgar, insulting and yet entertaining speech which scares and pisses everyone off  except Roma, (played by Pacino) who is not required to attend the meeting, as he is top salesman. Blake shows the salesmen the Glengarry leads, which are “gold.” Levine (Lemmon), ...

Written by: PBF I am an Adam McKay fan. Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Step Brothers? I enjoy all of those. The Other Guys, however; was an utter disappointment. Detectives Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson) and Danson (Dwayne Johnson) are your typical action movie cops. Hanging on to the roof of bad guys’ cars as they are being chased by the rest of the police. Jumping from moving vehicles. Gamble (Will Ferrell) and Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg) are desk jockeys, Gamble having been transferred from Forensic Accounting and Hoitz having accidentally shot Derek Jeter. Gamble and Hoitz are desk mates, and thus “partners” and are made fun of quite a bit. Gamble actually enjoys his desk work, while Hoitz is a “peacock that needs to fly.” Hoitz and Gamble (Gamble by force) seize an opportunity to become the kind of detectives that Highsmith and Danson are by trying to take on an exciting case, but largely screw up. However, by slowly focusing on what seems like a routine, boring non-movie case, they ...

One of my all-time favorite movies (and one I am terrified to do a proper review on) is American Beauty. Something in that film just grabs me every time I even think about it whether it be the music, the great acting, or the exposé on real life. Perhaps not strangely then, I thought about American Beauty quite a bit while watching The Kids Are All Right. And not just because Annette Bening was in both. Perhaps you can view this as the American Beauty for the new millennium. Nic and Jules have a dedicated, yet stressful marriage. Nic is a successful doctor who sometimes can be a bit overbearing; Jules is more of a free-spirit: a homemaker with an occassional odd job on the side. They have a two kids, Jodi and Laser, a nice house, and even a Volvo. If it hasn’t been spoiled for you already, allow me: Nic and Jules are gay. When the almost-college-bound Jodi (Mia Wasikowska) reaches out to the man whose sperm conceived her and her brother, the family is introduced to Paul (Mark Ruff...

I trust you heard of the response that average movie-goers had when M. Night Shyamalan‘s name appeared at the end of the trailer for Devil. If you did not, (Spoiler alert!) they laughed heartily. Honestly, after the string of dreck that the man has churned out over the years, any goodwill his name would have afforded ten years ago has mostly evaporated. However, Devil is allegedly the first in the Night Chronicles, a series of films based on ideas from Shyamalan acting as a producer only. Given the output of this film, I’d say this is a better way for him to rebuild his fanbase. Admittedly, the premise doesn’t sound like much other than a 30 minute episode of some anthology series. Five strangers are trapped in an elevator. One of them is the devil. I shouldn’t have to put a spoiler warning to let you know that not all of them survive. As a movie focused only on that would run thin rather quickly, there are also a couple security guards, a maintenance man, and a Philadelphia detectiv...

Every once in a while, someone comes up with an idea that makes you think “Man, why hasn’t that been done sooner?” About a year ago in a conversation with Digger, I remarked how I’d like to see a balls-to-the-wall action movie with all of the action heroes of old. Little did I know, and Digger was quick to point out, that Sylvester Stallone already had that idea with his upcoming movie The Expendables. Even though I had heard mostly positive things about the movie (mostly from my testosterone-driven friends and associates), I was hesitant. When you put Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, and more together in an action movie, it could either be awesome in a manly kind of way or very over-the-top and cheesy. I assume that director Stallone was going for the former but the cheese factor came into play far too much for my taste. We have all of the requisite action tale staples: an exotic locale, a former colleague who goes rogue, a main bad guy, and a love i...

Written by: PBF Guess what? I kind of liked this one. If nothing else, I appreciate that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning adheres to the previously established storyline, etc. of the preceding film. Same basic plot is once again employed; small group of young adults travelling through Texas for one reason or another are interrupted in their trip and fall into the hands of Leatherface and whatever random family he is with this time. In this installment we witness the “origin” of Leatherface, or Thomas Hewitt (in this universe). His mother works in a slaughter house and dies giving birth to him while on the job. Her boss, throws the baby (Leatherface) away in a dumpster. He is found by a member of the Hewitt family and taken to the plantation house from the previous film. Thomas ends up working at the same slaughterhouse but it gets closed down. Thomas kills his boss (the very same one that threw him away) and is stopped on the road by the only law enforcement person in a...

Written by: Phil Carpenter Is that blood on your Zombie? For my first review, I thought I'd choose a movie about a subject very near and dear to my heart: Zombies. This is a quaint, heartwarming movie about a young boy named Timmy Robinson ( Kesun Loder ), his parents, and his beloved pet, Fido . Timmy and Fido go the park, take walks, etc. Timmy gets picked on by bullies and Fido saves the day. Oh, I forgot to mention Fido is a zombie. The beginning of the movie explains that the zombie war/apocalypse has already taken place, humanity has taken the majority of control over the situation, and everyone's lives can return back to normal-ish. The corporation Zomcon has invented a collar that renders the zombies docile and semi-functional, allowing them to be controlled and used as house servants. All this takes place in 1950's America, with all the trappings you'd expect: the music, brightly colored houses with white picket fences, and prejudices against anything ...

**THIS RANT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ANY NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET MOVIE** A remake/reboot/reimagining/whatever is truly not a bad idea at the surface. There are many films or even ideas that are not fully realized in their original form whether it suffered from technological limitations, poor production, or other issues. Other than the George Lucases of the world, most filmmakers or companies are not able to retroactively go back and fix problem areas in an already released movie. The problem comes in when a remake offers nothing over the original other than a polished look, a slew of teen actors, and a more modern setting. The Nightmare on Elm Street remake is one of those offending movies. For any movie, whether it is based on an existing property or somewhat original idea, the goal should be to create something not only enjoyable but a film that can stand on its own. The Nightmare remake (which PBF did a wonderful job summarizing my thoughts before I had them in his review) leans ...

I’m sure you’ve probably seen Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. If not, I’m sure you know someone who has seen it. Even if that isn’t the case, I am confident to say at some point in the past ten years, you’ve heard the following: “Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms.” This throwaway line from a completely different movie probably sums up what most of the population knows of director Joe Chappelle‘s film. However there is a line actually in Phantoms which is more appropriate: “I needed the money” renowned professor Timothy Flyte (Peter O’Toole) replies to the question of why he works at a trashy tabloid. I suspect that would be the response from most when questioned about their involvement to this movie. Adapted from his novel of the same name, writer Dean Koontz takes what I recall was a decent, if largely forgettable, tale of a band of survivors in a deserted town against an unknown enemy and turns it into a clusterfuck of random occurrences and plot points that make no sense what...

Written by: PBF The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the first of many remakes by Platinum Dunes. While I feel it is better than most of their others, I still question the need of making any sequel, remake or otherwise to the original. In this “chapter,” we are taken to August 18, 1973, two days before the police archive video we watch takes place, complimented with narration by, once again, John Larroquette. 5 young people are travelling to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in a van all stoned and having a good time. The driver, Kemper (Eric Balfour), almost hits a girl wandering in the middle of the rural road they are travelling. They pick her up, only to be subjected to her ramblings about a “bad man” and eventually her suicide, via a handgun produced from her crotch. Traumatized they attempt to find local law enforcement in the backwoods that they are travelling in and come across a gas station. The old lady working there says that the sheriff is at the mill but he will be there in 2 hours...

Written by: PBF This piece of shit is the most insulting installment in the Chainsaw franchise. Without question. And if you disagree, you are wrong. I really hate Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. Honestly, the specifics of the plot do not matter. It’s the same basic shit. A group of kids get lost in the backwoods of Texas for whatever reason and they run across random strangers that all end up members of the same murderous cannibalistic family with a different last name, depending on what sequel we’re in. This time the family’s last name is Slaughter. W.E. (mentioned as the only apprehended family member to stand trial in part III’s narration) is in this one, which takes place in 1994, which contradicts ONLY THE ENTIRE PREVIOUS TIMELINE. I fucking swear to God, did no one see how sloppily this franchise was put together? Also, yet again, Leatherface is here, but with a completely different family. Also, once again, there is narration referring to the events of the f...