Movie Scum

Written by: PBF Paul Thomas Anderson ’s Boogie Nights is inspired by, loosely based on or whatever you want to call it, the life of porn star John Holmes (at times, it even directly lifts dialogue from interviews with Holmes that appeared in a later documentary in which featured Anderson) . While the two are similar, it is more so a fictitious depiction of the lives of some folks in the porn industry during the 70s and 80s. It does have some true elements to it, such as the movement to get porn to convert from film to videotape. Ultimately, it is an examination of several people’s lives as they move in and out of the adult film world. The main story of this film revolves around Eddie Adams ( Mark Wahlberg ), a 17 year old who works at a car wash by day and a nightclub at…well, night. Eddie believes that everyone has one special thing that they are blessed with. His special thing happens to be a penis that hangs around 13 inches or so. The particular nightclub that he works for,...

I don’t have air conditioning in my car. This makes commuting rather uncomfortable especially last week as a blistering heat wave across the country produced temperatures in the 100s. See the images on the top and side of this post? Click one and help Puck have AC. Anyways, on insanely hot days, I almost always think of Die Hard with a Vengeance as it is a movie that almost makes you sweat from the heat atop the New York City streets. Let’s disregard that a lot of the film was made in South Carolina. But I’m rambling now, so let’s get on with the review. When I reviewed Die Hard some time ago, it had been a while since seeing it. Thus, I was captivated at the sheer brilliance of it all, not just for a “mindless” action film, but because it is a damn solid story that pretty much built all the action movie tropes still in use today. It’s second sequel though, DHWAV for short, gives Hollywood a damn fine template for creating a action sequel that is not downright insulting to the v...

Marvel has had a pretty good batting average since taking their films in-house a few years ago beginning with the lauded Iron Man . Even though their latest films have not lived up to that high standard (in fairness, that's not an easy task), their output has been consistently on the good side with Thor and the latest Hulk movie both being quite enjoyable. Of course, the big draw is next year's Avengers , the super-superhero movie which will hopefully find a way to congeal all of these wildly different comic book protagonists in a cohesive sense. The last stop before Avengers though is the first Avenger: Captain America . I should not need to preface this review by saying I know squat about the comic series; this should be assumed by now. Captain America was created in the early 1940s but rose in popularity during World War II for obvious reasons. The comic, as well as the film center around Steve Rogers ( Chris Evans ), a scrawny kid from Brooklyn, who desperately wants ...

I was going to write an opening paragraph along the lines that many women I know have proclaimed that The Adjustment Bureau is good movie. I figured I would just allude to it and move right along but only after making an off-hand statement that women have different tastes than I and this did not seem the type of film (Matt Damon and his alleged “hunkiness” notwithstanding) that the female subsect of society would be interested in. But that would make me seem like a mid-twentieth century pig. And I would be completely wrong as you can possibly surmise from the categories listed above. I don’t necessarily have a problem with “romance” movies. They just are not designed with my sensibilities in mind. I can still objectively review them from a critical standpoint to determine if they are completely bland and unsurprisingly (not unlike Love and Other Drugs) or a remarkably decent story merely concocted around a lovey-dovey tale like this film. Written and directed by George Nolfi, the f...

What can I say? I am a glutton for courtroom dramas even though they seem to all end the same. Matthew McConaughey plays the titular lawyer who spends his time defending the less-than-innocent. If you took an episode of The Practice and bred it with an episode of Law & Order , I suspect this is pretty close to the outcome. Some of the twists in the story are okay, even if they are given away by the previews, but this ultimately seems like a by the book legal thriller. It doesn’t help that McConaughey’s presence invokes A Time to Kill , a much more effective drama. There is a lot of talent that goes untapped from William H. Macy to the still smokin’ Marisa Tomei but the story featuring the possibly guilty rich boy Ryan Phillippe is short on surprises, even though Phillippe seems to be trying to prove he is a real actor.

Written by: PBF Exit 33 will be released to DVD on August 2 via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is directed by Tommy Brunswick and stars Kane Hodder . You may remember Hodder from his role as the best Jason Voorhees ever (in arguably the worst installments of that franchise). He has also appeared in Adam Green’s Hatchet films (and many others). A small group of friends (some travelling alone, some together) are going to their 5 year high school reunion. On their way, they come across Ike’s Last Chance Gas. In addition to owning the gas station, Ike (Hodder) is a bit of a taxidermist and also makes a fine venison jerky. His deer heads and jerky can be found in his store. This station lies off of Exit 33, which not often used (despite the 9 or so visitors in one night). Ike and his store seem a bit creepy. For good reason. Ike is deeply troubled and has a terrible secret. Unfortunately for some of his patrons, they find out exactly what it is.

If you would have told me a few months ago that I would have liked Transformers: Dark of the Moon , I would have laughed heartily. Yet, I begrudingly must say that this Transformers movie is a staple in action cinema and … a pretty good movie to boot. Well, maybe I won’t go that far ... I was going to write full reviews of the preceding two movies but out of laziness and an inability to sit through the entirety of both, I did not. I can summarize though. The first was a decent action movie wrapped around some of the most annoyingly cliched characters ever put to film. It was passable. The second was an insult, not only to the senses but also to anyone who has ever found any movie ( Weekend at Bernie’s not withstanding) thought-provoking. TF2 was a train-wreck, mostly in story, but that was quickly talked off as a by-product of the writer’s strike that year. That would make sense then if the entire film was ad-libbed on the day of shooting. I guess at this point, we can forget a...

I may have said it before, but let me reiterate: 1994 was a huge year in movies for a young Puck. Today’s random movie was one of the apexes of my love for movies. I saw Speed in theaters only once but I more than made up for it when it was released on VHS (ahh, nostalgia). Within a week, I was quoting the movie verbatim to all of my discerning middle school friends. They thought I was a loon. Perhaps they were right. But then again, Speed kicks ass. So, I claim victory even if none of them will know it. Almost immediately, Speed kicks off with a rather enthralling opening that is actually relevant with rest of the movie! A mad bomber has rigged a downtown L.A. elevator with a bomb that spells doom for the dozen or so passengers on board. With some quick thinking by S.W.A.T. members Jack ( Keanu Reeves ) and Harry ( Jeff Daniels ), the bomber’s plans are thwarted and the passengers saved with the bomber allegedly blowing himself up once the jig is up. Sometime later, Mr. Bomber ...