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Is it 2011? An Angry Birds Trailer Appears

An Angry Birds movie may have made sense a few years ago. Is this an attempt to reinvigorate the franchise or merely sell more games and plush animals? The new trailer for The Angry Birds Movie , due out next summer, a good four years or so since Angry Birds were relevant in pop culture, doesn’t show much action or plot but merely introduces the characters we’ve all grown to love and loathe through our pig-destroying levels. The fact that this trailer light on jokes and heavy on name placement doesn’t bode well for this adaptation but we are still a few seasons away from a release. Although, this cast, including Jason Sudekis as ‘Red’, could enliven the scorned birds sufficiently, this seems more of a late cash grab than any animated kids movie that has any merit. Perhaps I’ll be wrong.

Random Movie: The Happening (2008)

With M. Night Shyamalan back in the news recently for relatively positive reviews for his newest film, let us not forget that he has made some shitty movies. One of those movies is The Happening .

The Mist Takes Another Form

According to Deadline , the powers that be are planning The Mist to be a weekly endeavor. It’s funny that I just watched the film with my son this weekend, to which he threw the remote in anger due to the ending. The overall gist sounds the same with a strange mist rolling into a small town filled with god-knows-what and presumably the plucky cast of characters who have to face it all. While I’m not sure that The Mist would be a suitable candidate for TV adaptation, it certainly sounds intriguing enough. Hopefully for some, there won’t be such a downer ending.

TV Scum: Fear the Walking Dead - So Close, Yet So Far

There was much complaining in the wake of last week’s finale that the pace was too slow with too little to justify its bloated runtime. While I can see the argument, I disagreed with that assessment. This, the second episode, should more closely match fan’s expectations: more zombies, more carnage, more collapse of society. As is stated in the episode: “it all goes quickly.” Madison, Travis, and Nick are mostly in shock at the start following the close of the pilot with Nick’s dealer, having been shot and twice run down with a truck, still giving them the glance-over with that glazed, zombified look in his eyes. Madison’s daughter, on the other hand, is concerned with her boyfriend who flaked on their last meetup and decides to go to his house. There she finds a house torn to pieces and Matt with a high fever and an unknownst to her bite on his shoulder. After finally prying Alicia away from Matt without any damn good explanation of why, the group heads back to their house only

Wes Craven Dies But Forever Haunts Our Dreams

According to Hollywood Reporter , Wes Craven has died at the age of 76. Likely only in stature to John Carpenter, Craven and his work has had a remarkable impact on not only my movie-going experience but life in general. Beginning with his first feature Last House on the Left , Craven has had the remarkable ability to inspire and horrify viewers for over 40 years. He dreamt our nightmare with A Nightmare on Elm Street . He made slasher films relevant again in his Scream series. He brought to life so many various stories of despair and trouble through voodoo, incarceration, and even robotics. While admittedly his output has been very hit-or-miss (more miss in his later years), Craven was always held up as a professor of the genre that he helped create. He, and his works, will be sorely missed. Wes Craven 1939-2016

Random Movie: It Follows (2014)

Adulthood is scary. An imaginary foe constantly stalking you is even worse.

TV Scum: Fear the Walking Dead - Pilot

Whereas the pilot episode to The Walking Dead began with a bang and a shuffling zombie girl clutching a stuffed bunny, Fear’s pilot takes the more nuanced approach of showing us the world of despair and decay, only for the sake of watching it be torn down even further. Opening in dank, darkened church but strange sounds, heroin addict Nick stumbles around to find a few of his mates eviscerated and his friend Gloria munching on a dude’s face. Unsurprisingly, Nick is shocked and appalled and runs his ass right out of the church into oncoming traffic. Nick is the son of Madison, the level-headed guidance counselor, who has long given up on her son’s drug problems. When Nick turns up in police custody after the accident ranting about what he has seen, Madison is quick to renounce them as ravings of a drug addict and not a looming threat to the world at large. Oops. For as much as this series was built upon the premise of a first-hand report of the collapse of civilization, very li

Random Movie: Bad Boys (1995)

Remember way back when Michael Bay wasn’t responsible for teenaged-fantasy films of semi-nudity, explosions, and gratuitous slow-mo? Yeah, me neither.

In a World of Superhero Glut, Only Deadpool Can Save Us Now

At this point where potential blockbusters are fizzling faster than an opened 2-liter soda and the Age of Superhero Glut is rapidly approaching with a list of theatrical releases that only rivals the Republican candidates, when will the general public become as oversaturated with superheroes as they were slashers in the 80s or Haley Joel Osment in the 90s? Enter Deadpool. No doubt by now you’ve seen the Deadpool trailer and the awesomeness it brings along with it. But even though Deadpool is not a household name (at least not in my comic-book reading household), the film seems to strive to break the monotony of heroes, gods, larger-than-life villains but not a lot of substance. Of course, Deadpool ’s biggest draw over it’s crowded marketplace is that Fox has committed to releasing a Hard-R picture which not only can provide the blood and guts that tameless PG-13 films have had to curtail, but also to showcase Deadpool’s very iconic and abrasive personality with all the F-bombs a

Random Movie: Sinister (2012)

Well damn if Sinister isn’t a gut punch, even for hardened horror fans like myself. Sinister carries similar traits as other Blumhouse Productions such as Paranormal Activity or Insidious. Blumhouse films tend to be far more suspense than horror, using fear, dread, and general anxiousness over stupid, vapid villains and unearned jumpscares. Sinister , focusing on a true crime author who finds himself way in over his head in horrendous crimes against families follows suit. And it’s probably one of the better horror films to come out this decade. Ethan Hawke is Ellison Oswalt , the aforementioned writer, who is so desperate for a hit that he uproots his family and moves them into a house where the previous occupants were suspended from a hanging tree limb for quite a while. Of course, Oswalt, being the good caregiver he is, declines to tell his family they are living in the murder capital of their quite county. Oswalt stumbles upon a box in his new attic innocuously marked “Hom

Random Movie: John Wick (2014)

Hell hath no fury like a dog owner scorned. Harkening back to uber-violent action films of the 80s and 90s, Keanu Reeves as titular character John Wick is cold, calm, collected, and quite badass assassin as he single-handedly takes down an entire underground syndicate and the crime boss Tarasov’s son kills Wick’s dog while stealing his car. Being that the dog was a gift was his late wife, Wick does not take this too well and soon is running around whatever unnamed metropolis decimating the legions of bad guys working for Tarasov who are protecting his son. While he typically gets much grief for his limited range and acting abilities, Reeves absolutely shines here as the withdrawn, broken Wick. Many fight scenes and shootouts occur during the film where Wick executes those in his way in a cold, brutal fashion and Reeves looks mighty creepy with his blank, emotionless face while pulling the trigger point-blank at a man. Co-directors Chad Stahelski and David Leitch make what

Calling All Run Aground Horror Series!

After the news of Michael Myers’ triumphant return in the stupidly titled “ Halloween Returns ,” Myers’ contemporary slasher villains are not going to sit on their laurels. I wonder where the saturation point of dredging up old 80s and 90s franchises will land but apparently not here as both Freddy and Jason have rumored continuations in the near future. A Friday the 13th series is apparently in the works at the CW which will feature the masked zombie/undeadish thing rather than whatever that anthology bullshit was that the previous series tried to pass off. According to IGN , the series will take place around the infamous Crystal Lake that “takes a more “sophisticated” approach as a horror/crime thriller.” There is also talks of gritty and grounded. To that I say: how the hell can one make Jason Voorhees a gritty and/or realistic/ and/or grounded character considering he’s been dead for about seven movies? The series will apparently focus on a detective searching for his

New Images of 'Batman V Superman' Surface; Still 50 Shades of Meh

After a silly tiltle, some inspired casting, and a “meh” trailer, new images have emerged for Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice to remind people it is still happening. Entertainment Weekly brings us looks at the aforementioned inspired casting of Ben Affleck and Jesse Eisenberg as Batman and Lex Luthor respectively and ... not much else except for the preppy/hippy vibe I’m getting from Eisenberg ... and a mosh pit forming around Supes ... and a dance scene between uneasy allies and/or frenemies that seems ripped from just about every other action film (including the last Batman movie!). Click through for the rest and don’t let news of Affleck’s divorce get you down. Let’s just see how well this film goes before we see how much we feel sorry for him ... and Superman.

'Go to Jail? No. You Go Straight To Hell!' Monopoly Movie Says

Ah, Monopoly. American’s favorite pasttime of ruined furniture, hurt feelings, and deep psychological scars is finally (FINALLY!) coming to a multiplex near you. Yes, a real movie of Monopoly. From Lionsgate’s PR-friendly proclamation, Hasbro and Lionsgate have apparently blackmailed decent-enough writer/director Andrew Niccol into heading the project which will follow a curmudgeonly old man around who forcibly evicts people from their homes and dispatches the into debtor’s prisons for approximately four hours. No, just kidding. The story centers on a boy from Baltic Avenue who uses both Chance and Community in a quest to make his fortune, taking him on a fun, adventure-filled journey. It’s about making your own luck, what makes you truly rich and, of course, avoiding Jail time! No word on how Hasbro and Niccol plan to incorporate beauty contests, free parking (yes, it’s a thing!), or damn construction costs into the story to effectively portray the soul-sucking that occurs

Welcome to 1987 Where a Top Gun Sequel is Relevant

Tom Cruise has proven in his accelerated, but still good-looking, age that he is up for anything. Anything meaning climbing the tallest building in Dubai, holding onto a plane in middair, and even starring in a sequel to a movie that wasn’t that great to begin with from almost 30 years ago. Producer David Ellison spoke to Collider recently about the status of the long-threatened Top Gun sequel which will now feature MOAR TOM CRUISE saying, “ [t]here is an amazing role for Maverick in the movie and there is no Top Gun without Maverick, and it is going to be Maverick playing Maverick. ” I guess this means no more Taylor Lautner taking over the reigns from Senor Cruise as was previously rumored but also no cameo from Anthony Edwards who probably could use the work. The film is supposed to focus on the plight of fighter pilots in the face of the now trendy drone pilots and probably some dog-fighting between Maverick and some “hot-shot” behind a arcade stick. And it will be in IM

When All Else Falls, Make Another Terminator TV Show

With this week’s Terminator Genisys coming out to a host of potential and a good early word of mouth, of course the conversation has turned into making more money. And of course, Terminator is in talks to have a TV show spin-off. But wait? Wasn’t there a Terminator series already? One that was critically lauded and beloved by fans cut short by a writer’s strike and ended its short run with a cliffhanger? By god, you’re right! That was Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles! According to Skydance CEO David Ellison, a new TV series is in the development stages and of course will tie into the larger Terminator franchise as is the norm for just about every damn property these days. The dream for us would be to be able to obviously make films, television shows, we have a video game with Glu, comic books, and they all should be standalone experiences. If you just watch the movies or if you just watch a television show, it’s a complete experience. Of course, expanding popular

More Suffering! Top 9 Sequels That Completely and Absolutely Suck

As Randy so eloquently put it in Scream 2 , sequels by their very definition are inferior works. Often times they are derivative and lack any imagination that made their predecessors so powerful. But most sequels aren’t bad per se, just worthless. These sequels though are bad enough to almost make you angry at the series for spawning such dreck.

Theater Scum: Ted V. Max

A crude talking anthropomorphic teddy bear and a war hero dog. Which should I take the kids to see? Ted 2 Seth MacFarlane certainly didn’t win any friends after his last film, A Million Ways to Die in the West or his Oscar-hosting gig or the legions of folks who think he’s a talentless hack riding on the animated coattrails of The Simpsons . But I liked the first Ted and I can tolerate Family Guy even if it’s whatever the opposite of appointment TV. MacFarlane’s problem is MacFarlane. His juvenile schtick wasn’t too robust to begin with and that seems to be all he has going for him. Sure, people still like him. I still tolerate him. He’ll be fine with the 13 hour animated block he has on FOX every week. But I’d be surprised to see Ted 2 do as well as the original did. Tides are shifting, man. Max With the trailer proclaiming Max is from the director of Remember the Titans (uplifting!) and a producer of Marley & Me (gut-punching), I think it’s pretty safe to as

Random Movie: Zombeavers (2014)

Zombeavers   has no business being as good as it is. Stop me if you’ve heard this premise before. A group of horny co-eds go to an empty cabin in the middle of nowhere and are picked off one-by-one by some gruesome, unstoppable force of nature. Since this basic gist describes the vast majority of horror films produced in the 80s so you’d be forgiven if your appetite wasn’t enthusiastically whetted. However, where before we had masked psychopaths with questionable parental supervision, here we have killer beavers. More specifically zombified killer beavers. It’s fantastic. Co-screenwriter/director Jordan Rubin is clearly well versed in the tropes of the horror films of yore. We have our batch of easily disposable victims, simple and close-minded locals that no one pays attention to, and gloriously cheesy practical effects when the ZOMBEAVERS come knocking (and chewing) at the door. I was reminded of Adam Green’s Hatchet   while watching this as it is an attempt to recreate the h

Ben Affleck to Direct 'The Batman'? Yes, Please.

While I don’t hold out much hope for Batman V. Superman , Ben Affleck is not a point of my consternation. Given his resurgence as a powerful actor/director combo, I trust Affleck will be the least troubling part of DC Comic’s epic superhero movie of 2016. It’s just the shaky director, the overstuffed cast, and the gimmicky premise that has me questioning my future earnings on a box office ticket. But a solo Batman flick, simply titled The Batman , not only starring Affleck but also directed by him too? Count me in. At this point it is merely a rumor posited by Latino Review that Affleck will be in the director’s chair but I’d argue that’s a fine choice for whatever direction DC decides to take Batman. Affleck has already proved his worth in his previous directorial efforts of Gone Baby Gone , The Town , and Argo (factually notwithstanding) and I’m anxious to see what his take on the iconic character will look like when not shoehorned in with every other damn DC Comics char