Movie Scum

Maybe I knew of this at one point. Perhaps I didn't. But the veritable Friday the 13th series is getting a real TV series. Well, kind of? According to Cinema Blend , series producer Sean Cunningham indicates that the show will take a "meta" approach (all the cool kids are doing it nowadays) and be set in a town, not terrorized by the cinematic version of Jason Voorhees (or that fake one from Part 5 either apparently), that 'inspired' the series but with their own mishaps and mysteries surrounding their own murderous local-types which inspired F13. Which ... what? So the series takes place in a fictional town with a fictional killer that inspired a fictional killer in a fictional town in their fictitious universe. Everyone got that? Apparently The CW has shown interest in the series because all the cool kids go to hang out there now too. So, perhaps, not-Jason Jason will be terrorizing not-Crystal Lake on your TV screens in the near future.

Considering severe dearth of William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet film adapations, not counting the about two dozen at least I count on IMDb, Sony is in talks to produce Verona to tell of the story of star-crossed lovers from feuding families for the new-new generation. But, Verona has one thing that the rest of the 37 adaptations do not: Zack Synder! Or more specifically, the film is set to reimagine the tell in a 300 -esque "gritty and fantastical" style. Because of course, all love stories that end with the deaths of just about everyone deserve gritty and fantastical.

Yes, zombeavers are a thing. I'm shocked it took so long for this concept to come about with the resurgence in zombie related media. But now that it's here, Zombeavers looks awesome.

Finally! A television adaptation I can get behind!

How much money did Peter Dinklage demand to be in this movie? Along with Sandler's painfully unfunny, flatulent cohort Kevin James, someone with deep pockets have also procured Sean Bean, Michelle Monaghan, Brian Cox, and Jane Krakowski to star in some assuredly crap movie that just dropped a new trailer today. In fairness, I have not watched the trailer. That, to me, would be akin to returning to an abusive relationship and hoping that things will be better this time if only he would stop all the drinking and watching King of Queens. But I've been burned enough by Adam Sandler. I would've assumed we all have by now but Grown Ups 2's  $133 million gross clearly proves me wrong. Although, I'm guessing he doesn't dress up in drag again which is a moderate step up from the bowels of complete shittiness. Oh, and did I mention that Josh Gad is in this? The trailer is linked below (not embedded, for your sake) if you are so inclined to hurriedly increase yo

Clear your calenders because The Hoff and a bunch of other nobodies are battling The Sharknado© as it invades your homes, and Washington D.C. I guess, on July 22.

Much to my chagrin, I tabulated Kevin Smith's major film ratings via Rotten Tomatoes and was quite surprised. On the site where the cut-off between "fresh" and "rotten" is 60%, Smith's films average 57.82%. Initially I chalked it up to the super high ratings for Chasing Amy and Clerks at 88% each but even just looking at his past fifteen year output gives us 48% Who are these people watching and reviewing and giving high scores to these Kevin Smith movies? At best, the collective internet reaction to a new Kevin Smith movie, such as today's confirmation that Smith is making a Mallrats 2 for ... I'm sure valiant reasons, is a collective 'meh.' Even the long-gestating Clerks III has the internet upswell of an Antiques Roadshow revival. Considering that 2010's Silent Bob is likely far more successful and not making Cop Out 2 , many would prefer he stuck to his weekly "reality" show and the 38 weekly podcasts. And even i

While most films deal with real, physical threats from other people or nature, some are brave, or perhaps nonsensical enough, to focus on objects that only exist to be an extension of the human experience.

With the tidal wave of reboot/remake news washing over us daily, it's possible that we (I) completely miss or purposefully disregard that which does not please me. The news that there is a Naked Gun reboot being threatened does not surprise me. Nor does it fill me with joy.

Anyone between the ages of 18 months and 113 years has heard of Disney's smash animated hit Frozen. Also, each of those folks have heard 'Let it Go' about 228 times per aggregate. Naturally, the House of Mouse has dictated that is not enough Ana, Elsa, and goddamn Josh Gad in our lives so Frozen 2 is a go . Of course, this comes as a shock to no one. Least of all the merchandisers and retailers who are filling the coffers of their retirement accounts with Olaf snow shovels and Elsa electric blankets.

While the first Sharknado "film" flourished simply from a completely idiotic premise and D-list cast members, the upcoming SyFy original movie Sharknado 3 seems to be upping the ante. In addition to some guy from 90210 and Tara Reid, whose best role was either in American Pie or Urban Legend , the film's "producers" felt it necessary to add weight to the ensemble with the likes of Mark Cuban and Ann Coulter. But now, they can all pack up and go home since The Hoff, aka David Hasselhof, has come aboard to presumably show these amateurs how to showbiz in the most self-deprecating way possible. I only hope they can squeeze in a slow-mo beach shot and/or a David Hasselhof theme song. Time will tell when Sharknado 3 invades Washington D.C. and your poor DVR in July. Entertainment Weekly: David Hasselhoff joins Sharknado 3

First, it just seemed that Dan Akyroyd was plain out of his mind. Then, Sony announced an all-female led Ghostbusters sequel/whatever. And now? Chaos .

If you would have asked me six months ago about the 21 Jump Street remake, I likely would have had a pained look on my face paired with an enthusiastic thumbs down. I wouldn't have been the only one as #pbf remarked in his rant just prior to its release. As the premiere grew closer and I kept seeing more trailers and clips, I felt a small glimmer of hope that it could actually be good. Yes, even with Duke himself, Channing Tatum , playing a lead role. I can't say I am a fan of the originating series but nor am I a foe. Given that I was five when it premiered and never caught it in reruns, I was not as perturbed at the piggy-backing on a famous name as some. Yet, like most in the movie-watching world, I am leery and over saturated with crap movies churned out simply because they ride the coattails of nostalgia. Thankfully, I believe Jonah Hill and writer Michael Bacall share that sentiment as Jump Street is not just an empty box office cash-grab for the fans of a nearly

There are not too many positive examples of video-game-to-film transitions that you can point to. Some, like the first Resident Evil movie, are spun off from their console counterparts into a mediocre cinema treat that is begging to be forgotten after you’ve concluded watching it. Others are rancid piles of feces. Heavenly Sword: The Movie (based on the hit interactive graphic adventure!) falls more toward the former than the latter. It is not however without its own issues. About six weeks ago, Kenny asked me to review this film. Having never even heard of the game before, I was reluctant to take part for fear that it catered solely toward those already familiar with the premise. Having read the film’s summary on Wikipedia, I realized that it did a fine job in conveying some of the more important points but due to the necessary truncation, some elements were not as fleshed out as I would have preferred. I blame Todd Farmer, writer of the interstellar juggernaut Jason X. Heavenly

As one half of 2013′s dueling White House under siege films, Olympus Has Fallen is so patently absurd that it is borderline offensive. From the opening frame of the film, the story apparently takes place in a fictitious universe that lacks any common sense of terrorist attacks, tactical ability, or even the best way of not dying from automatic machine gun fire. But even though it is stupid enough to make your eyes bleed, this is way better than it has any right to be.

Considering that Twister was 1996′s second highest grossing film , I have always found the lack of a rushed, blatant studio-cash-in sequel puzzling. Even as the years ticked by, I can't help but think that Bill Paxton, Helen Hunt, and Jami Gertz all had their agents pestering Warner Brothers for a follow-up, even if it in all likelihood would be a soulless reusing of the first's films flimsy structure without any of the accidental charisma that the original had.

The following exchange took place in an episode from season 4 of the great Seinfeld .

Somewhere between Peter Weller deciding to hand over the RoboCop suit to Robert John Burke , the big wigs at OCP, or whatever big business in charge, decided that RoboCop needed to be more family friendly, thus leading to the first PG-13 film in the series. Never mind the fact that the original is a gory mess, even for an 80s movie, and the sequel probably expended more rounds than the Persian War, some damn parental board decided RoboCop should be a corporate product complete with action figures and cars and even it’s own spin-off TV show not too much later. Hence: RoboCop 3 . Since the last installment, old Detroit has gone to shit even more, OCP has merged with some Japanese company, and a military-esque team is brought in to force them damn ghetto people out by force for the construction of OCP’s idealistic Delta City. Luckily the ragtag team of CCH Pounder , Stephen Root , Daniel von Bargen , and a cute, smart displaced girl with uncanny computer skills decide to fight the pr

It’s almost funny that Irvin Kershner , director of the undisputed best Star Wars movie, was tapped as the director of RoboCop 2 . While I can’t say I’ve seen any of his other works, he seems to be the studio-appointed and restrained errand boy as opposed to Verhoeven on the original. So naturally with the law of sequels, RoboCop 2 features most of the same players but with a bigger foe in the titular character. Stripped of its social and historical allusions, RoboCop 2 is just another sequel that attempts to up the ante with less else new to offer as the evil conglomerate OCP attempts to recreate RoboCop from a psychotic drug dealer. Surprisingly things don’t work out as planned which fortunately leads to one of the best police shootouts on film. But instead of the heroic journey that Murphy endures in the original, here he is sidelined and neutered. Even though the finale of the last film had Peter Weller’s character realizing he is more than simply a corporate product of dest

With the release of the newest RoboCop reboot trailer which I must say has me intrigued, I wanted to officially revisit the original of which I've seen approximately 413 times. While the argument can be made for just about any remake, RoboCop is one of the few "old" movies that has more cultural relevance today than it did upon it's release. Big conglomerates, similar to OCP, are basically running the United States; the city of Detroit is bankrupt and probably will snap up any corporate sponsor it can, and between drones and the NSA and everything else we know nothing about, technology seems to be far outpacing our ability to harness it. If it sounds like I am paranoid, I am (not really at least). But basically all of this was foretold twenty-six years ago with arguably Paul Verhoeven 's most complex film, excluding Jesse Spano in her Showgirls stage. Much like many of the age-inappropriate movies I consumed under the age of 10, the themes and allusions o