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Random Movie: Alpha and Omega (2010)

Written by: PBF
I almost feel kind of bad for giving a horrible review about a kids film. But I assure you, this film deserves it.
Alpha and Omega is an animated version of the classic love story that involves a boy and a girl from different social backgrounds, in similar fashion of Romeo and Juliet or West Side Story. This one has wolves. Kate is an Alpha wolf. Alpha’s are more serious and responsible. Humphrey is an Omega wolf. Omega’s tend to have fun more and try to keep peace. It is arranged for Kate and Garth (another Alpha) to be married, however, Humphrey has a bit of a crush on Kate. Garth is a pretty boy, but has a weak howl, and apparently wolves mate (when not in arranged marriages) when their howls are the same. Some party happens and all the wolves are there. When Kate and Humphrey are alone talking, they both get hit with tranquilizer darts and wake up in a national park in Idaho. A goose that plays golf and his duck caddy inform them that they were brought to the park to mate and produce offspring (standard plot for a children’s movie). Humphrey has no problem with this and is ready to get down. Kate however, does not like that, and within seconds is trying to find away back to Canada. Thusly, Humphrey follows this plan, realizing that he will not be doing it wolf style anytime soon.
This film is unbelievably bad. The script was filled with bad jokes, things that I think were supposed to be jokes but weren’t and just amazingly bad dialogue in general. The trip home consisted of about 2 incidents of “danger” in which their crusade may have been put in jeopardy. I have more adventure walking to the store. The animation was not very impressive. I saw it in 3D and it did nothing to enhance the viewing. I found Larry Miller’s (he played the goose) French Canadian accent to be quite irritating and inconsistent. Justin Long’s (Humphrey) voice just kept transporting me to his other films. The runtime is 88 minutes which while makes it seem like the film was hastily thrown together, did make the unpleasantness rather short. It’s use of a basic story that has been told time and time again made the film rather predictable, and as soon as the main conflict is revealed, you will know how it ends.
There are many films that a child and adult would both enjoy. I would hate to think that the film makers just assumed that because it was a children’s movie, they could just bang out an animated picture without originality or redeeming qualities. I mean, adults are the ones driving the kids to the theaters and buying the tickets.
True, a kid will not dissect a picture in this fashion. However, my almost 4 year old asked twice, while watching this, if the movie was over yet. Just saying.

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